Letter to the reader

11/27/2021

Dear reader,

Hi! If you have found this I am probably dead. I am not going to tell you my name or where I live or lived rather. I am writing this on 11/27/2021, or November 27, 2021. This all started in 7th grade I guess. That is when I tried to take my own life, but here's the thing. I suck at everything. I tried to use a dull pocket knife. As you can tell, that didn't work very well. I think that I have had depression for a very long time. I have been told to go to therapy, but I don't want to tell my parents because therapy is expensive. So I haven't. Man, I thought this would take more time and space, but I guess not. Well, I am going to use this to get rid of any bad thoughts and feelings. Yes, I have a journal, but why would I use that. My mom has forced me to read it to her and I don't trust it anymore. I know for a fact that I have trust issues. I guess I will tell you a little more about myself. I am 16 as of this day. My favorite color is blue, my second favorite color is yellow. I guess by default that makes my third favorite color is green. I have a dog named Sheriff and two red-eared slider turtles named Zeus and Ezra. They all are rescues. I have been called an animal whisperer. I don't think that I am I just know when an animal is angry and when it is not. I would think that the average person could do that.

I like school, not for friends, but the information. I work at an elementary school as a sweeper. I have 5 friends. 4 of them are school friends and 1 of them is a home friend. I am an asexual and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I play dnd and I have been told that I am annoying. I was bullied from 1st to 8th grade and then became friends with my bully (we are not friends anymore, just acquaintances). I play floorball, look it up if you don't know what it is, I draw, I write (obviously). If I were a dnd character I would be either chaotic neutral or true neutral. At the moment I watch Hermitcraft on Youtube and have found that gets crushes on people's voices and their personalities. I found that I like guys that are taller than me and older than me. I have a thing called blonde eye. It is where your eyes don't get pigment after you are born. I also have cyclic vomiting syndrome. Cvs might be genetic, but not enough people have it to know. My favorite LDS temple is the Provo City Center temple with the Dallas Texas temple being a close second. I honestly am not very pretty and I am pretty stupid. So I don't have anything going for me. I think I may be a pathological liar, but I am not sure and it's not like I am saying bad things when I lie. I just say what people want to hear. I have never been on a date or kissed anyone. I honestly think that that is for the better though. Because I am so stupid that if anyone did fall for me they would find someone better super quick anyway. My parents tend to yell at each other. This has led to me having a tendency that I did something wrong whenever some yells, whether at me or someone else. I guess I don't have a super good reason to have wanted to die. I still want to die, but I would prefer to be murdered. If I had to rate how I want to die I would put Murder at 1, suicide at 2, sickness at 3, accident at 4, and old age at 5.

I honestly think that I am a psychopath, though I have no way of proving it. I just want my life to end. Sorry for this turning dark, but it won't matter if anyone reads this anyway because if this does get read it will probably be because I am dead. So by the time that anyone will know about it will be too late. Not that you would care anyway. It's not like I am going to give you my name. I might give you my age, I mean why not it's not like it will matter. I am 16 and I shouldn't be complaining about my life. There are some people have people who have it so much worse than me. Maybe I will stop now. I don't know how long I will be using this, but it's not like it will matter. This is essentially a suicide note written who knows how early.

Yours truly

Mystery writer