Bittersweet

BITTER

Dedication to Bre— It took me time to make this book, and coming up with plans and decisions for this, all took time. No matter how many times I wanted to give up I didn't.
& shoutout 2 myself for continuing to strive through the struggle and more.
🖤
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🎵 "That shit like talking to concrete, concrete, concrete." 🎶

Reign Jackson

I couldn't feel any part of my body AT ALL, for a moment it all just went numb. 
"Mentally beaten while constantly trying to run, but he would find me every time."
I used to be a beautiful young lady, my brother would say if he were here. He came in and hollered out
"put something decent on, and let's get something to eat. I'm hungry"
And so I did, what else was I supposed to do? 30-40 minutes later were sitting in a booth at Denny's and he says
"I see you need to put a little more make-up on that next time."
She softly asks
"next time?"
When he says "Well, you know what I mean."
All the thoughts race back
"I should run, he won't know where I am this time, I'll make sure."
Then boom she's right back at square one 'numb, beaten, and speechless.' It's almost like a pattern that she's in, just doesn't know when it's gonna end, almost like a rotation that haunts you, doesn't know how or when to get away but never seems to complete her mission.
The sex is good, but it's not worth all this pain.
I was young and dumb, I met him in high school 'attractive' young man but I didn't know it was like a wrestling tournament with him. We were in love. Our Love is something 'sexual' our love was like a romance novel until the devil popped out, and nothing, I mean nothing could destroy that.
Last week I found out I was pregnant. I told Mike, we had the happiest 6 months of our lives. Then one morning, around 4 AM he came in and startled me, he had woken me from my sleep shouting about
'my enemy?'
"you sleeping with my enemy now reign? Oh, that's what we're doing now?"
All she could do was stare. He then shouts out
"Speak Bitch!"
While she winds up on the floor as he drags her from the bed by her legs. At This very moment, all her thoughts went silent, The numbness came back, as he Chocked, slapped, and kicked her. He wouldn't let her go, he was strangling her while she tried to speak,
"I can't breathe."
That night she ran, she ran as far away with nothing but herself while blood dripped down her legs constantly. All she could think about was her baby, only if it could have had the chance to be on earth!
It's been 7 days and her situation is confusing, at the moment she's staying with her parents, she's been locked in her room for the past 7 days.
While she watches and listens to the ceiling fan creaking and in circles.
There are knocks on the door.
"Hey, sweetie you want something to eat?"
Not a word comes from her room.
"You have to eat something."
Her child's gone, who would eat? The whole time all she could think about was being able to see her child again, she was in pain.
They've been to over 16 therapists and no one can help. The response to all 16 of the therapist we're 'nothing' she didn't even try, almost like she had nothing to say.
This is the 17th try...
"Hello I'm Mrs. Thrones, I'm only here to help you. Take your time."
All she could think about was leaving, In her head, her thoughts are pacing.
'if I don't say anything it's only gonna last longer. What if I just say one thing, would it end already?'
She groans as she tries to get her words in order.
"It's okay ma'am I'm only here to help you, take your time."
She softly murmured,
"Help"
"Trust me I would like to, to do so, you have to explain to me what's been going on."
"I..."
Then everything just went silent again.
It's been 5 1/2 hours since Reigns came from the therapist.
It's been exactly 4 hours since she's said anything. It's been No words,  No talking, only groans.
Honestly, it's weird, Because all her thoughts are going back to the night when she lost her child. While she's sitting in the living room with her eyes locked on the wall she says,
"He killed her."
Her mom hears her and rushes over to her.
"Who is he? And who did he kill?"
When she turned to look at her mom her mom saw the tears in her eyes as she wiped them away
"He killed my baby."
"Who is he Reign?"
"Mike killed my baby."
All her mom could do was drop her jaw and lock eyes with Reign. She groaned and softly said her daughter's name.
"Kennedy."
"Kennedy shanté Jackson."
Well at least her mom knew something was wrong the day she picked her up from the hospital, She just didn't know the exact reason. She does now though.
"WHAT AM I GONNA DO"
She hollered out as she burst into tears.
Later that night she was writing in her journal.
"I guess it's time to make a new chapter after all. I guess the moral of the story is, It only gets harder, well at least till we make it to where we need to be, and even then it still never gets easier."