Rebirth; A New Age || seongjoong || ATEEZ

Chapter 19 : The Beginning of the End (pt.1)

Hakuna Matata.

That was what someone used to say whenever something would go wrong. Seonghwa wasn't sure who it was, he couldn't quite put a name to the voice, but the saying stuck with him. He couldn't remember if it was a classmate who always said it when they got a bad grade on an exam or if it was a teacher- or maybe even a distant relative he stopped seeing halfway through high school. But regardless of who it was, those were the only words he could think of for a long time.

There are no problems. No worries.

He hadn't been able to actually accept that saying for so long because he couldn't afford to think that way. No worries, no problems, a happy-go-lucky attitude would get him nowhere in life and probably have him ending up dead. Seonghwa chose to look from a more logical side, not even pessimistic, he just tried to see things for how they actually were and not what he hoped they'd be. As a kid, Seonghwa was that one child that would laugh at everything and would smile no matter the occasion. He hardly got in trouble and listened to his parents because he loved seeing them smile and he loved hearing the praise they would give when he did something well.

From a young age, he had been a people pleaser without even realizing it.

Though he could never pinpoint a place in time when that all changed. But there was a distinctive difference between kid Seonghwa and teenage Seonghwa. When he looked back at it, Seonghwa couldn't remember an event that caused his melodramatic behavior change, but he figured it must've just been a process of growing up. That's the excuse he slapped on the question, even though the rest of his friends never experienced the same thing. They were all smiles and bright personalities for as long as he could remember, despite them growing up as well.

They were the living and breathing definition of "Hakuna Matata", and Seonghwa was jealous of their carefree attitude because they didn't seem to carry the weight he did. The invisible and heavy weight that slowed him down no matter what he did, always attacked the worst at night.

But now, things were different.

Now, the sun seemed a little brighter, regardless of whether it was hiding behind dark rain clouds or not. The sun was warm on his skin, like gentle and soft kisses, almost as if it was embracing him in a loving way. This time, Seonghwa knew what the change was. He knew the event that caused this sort of resurrection. It was a physical reaction, for all of them really, the same event that caused Seonghwa's eyes to open for what felt like the first time in forever was the one that left them all frozen for hours.

Wooyoung had been the first to cry when he heard it, followed by Mingi. Those two were the only ones who shed physical tears, but Seonghwa could see Yeosang was doing everything in his self-control to keep himself together. His eyes were glazed over, swollen and red the longer he tried to keep his tears from spilling, and every now and then he would sniffle and look around the living room instead of the radio on the coffee table they all stood around.

Seonghwa wanted to reach out and hold him, he wanted to tell him that it was okay to cry, that this was a moment worth crying over. But he didn't, he just stood behind all of them and let them process the information on their own time as he and Hongjoong had done hours before.

"This isn't..." San started, his eyes wide and almost unbelieving. "This isn't true, is it? Like it can't be- there's just no way..."

As soon as he said that, Jongho sat down and put his head in his hands, and sucked in a heavy breath. The room was dead silent except for the single message the radio was spewing on loop.