Chapter Thirty-Seven

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As soon as I reached the clearing, a sense of peace settled within me. The fear I held on to for too long was no longer present and for that I was grateful.

The clearing, seemingly insulated from the cold I felt walking here, was protected from the elements by trees. Not even wind rustled the leaves. Sitting on my rock by the creek would be too chilly, so I laid the plaid blanket in the center of the clearing. It was the same one I'd use for picnics with my mom. Being connected to the earth while sitting on something that belonged to her linked me to those things, putting me in the best frame of mind to read more about my grandfather.

Flipping through more passages, I read about my grandparents' second and third date. My grandfather really was a gentleman, never going into intimate details. I flipped past the fourth date and then finally he wrote something unrelated to courting my grandmother.

Zaira told me today that when she left school, it was for good. I told her I'd go back if she did—our relationship meant more than the farm—but she was adamant. It was then that she finally elaborated on all the reasons she left. Mostly, it wasn't fun anymore, and she had a strong urge inside of her to make sure I was okay.

All this time, there was another reason, and to say I was shocked is an understatement. Her parents, like mine, were dead. Her mother from cancer and her father from heartbreak. After her father's death, the same unexplainable urge that brought her to me had told her to enroll in school. Now, she doesn't feel it, so she won't return. Plus, Zaira said her future is mapped—had been since birth—but she wouldn't explain what that meant. After all I've shared with her, it makes me sad that she doesn't trust me. Even more, I'm confused, and I don't know how we move past this.

I guessed my grandfather was more than sad and confused—his emotions finally drove him to write on both sides of the page. Once again, I could sympathize. My grandfather's position was similar to mine with Calin, and I couldn't help but wonder if Calin felt the same way. At least my grandmother had sought my grandfather out instead of pushing him away. Still, it sounded like she knew her family's secrets and Calin said he understood I had to discover them on my own.

Turning the page, I read the rest of the entries for the second book and exchanged it for the third. My grandparents went on dates for two months—at least two per week—until harvest arrived and the farm monopolized my grandfather's time. After she wouldn't explain her future so-called enslavement—I called it that because it sounded like she had no choice—the dates were described with less enthusiasm until they seemed to find new common ground to build trust upon again.

I can't believe it took us this long to discover that we had a similar heritage. Zaira says it must be because I'm a country boy and wasn't involved in the community much. Being summoned to meet with the High Council because new positions were available was an honor and, unbeknownst to each other, we both got one. We told the other we had errands to run to get away without revealing ourselves. We must have seemed comical to the High Council when we saw each other.

So much of Zaira's secrecy makes sense now. She's from a founding family. Not only that, her family was the first in Wickenton and, looking through all the books about magic, her family was the first ever to be recorded as having magic. Different names but going back all the way to the beginning. All along, Zaira knew this. She was groomed to be the leader. What I saw her do in the tests we took—and how easily she did it—showed me a whole new side of her. One I could respect but still be a little scared of. I'm stupefied but honored she thinks I'm even worth her time. If I were noble, I'd tell Zaira she could do better and was settling with me. I tried to tell her, but she cut me off, saying I was being ridiculous. The fact that I care so little about the strength of someone's abilities is why she wants to be with me.

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