8 of September:
My name it's Audry, yes Audry, but most people call me Aud. I'm from Spain, from Madrid. Today it's my first day at high school and I have to pretend that I'm excited, but obviously I'm not. I've done many fantastic things this summer and I don't want to come back. I've been at the beach and I've make a new friend called Sarah, and we have enjoyed a lot together. But now I have to come back, again. I used to like coming back to school, but it was when I had friends to talk with. Now I'm totally alone, I think it's one of the consequences of being in a new class. Anyway, I have to pretend I'm happy because I don't want to hear my mom telling me that I will make new friends and that stupid stuff. I've been with my old classmates for nine years, before this happened and with this, I mean this:
Last year, when school was almost finished people started to leave my class. I think that the cause was the change to next grade, because the organization we have here in my high school it's kind different: in first and second of the secondary school we leave school at 5 pm, but in third grade of secondary school we leave school at 3pm, it's not the regular timetable but it's how it works here, so I think that's why people left our class. Finally we were just 15 students and we are supposed to be 25 students per class more and less, so " the important people" at high school decided (without our opinion) that the best option was to spread out the ones we were left between the other three classes. The point it's that, from the ones we were left no one looked scared or outraged, instead they looked like they all liked the idea, well all but me. I've never had a lot of friends, and I've never had that kind of friendship where you are inseparable, no, never, but at least I had friends, I got on well with I few, and for me, that was enough. It cost me a lot to make friends and now I have to start over, and let's say I'm not very outgoing; I don't know how I'm going to survive.
I should stop writing if I don't want to hear my mom again, telling me to hurry up.
I don't even know if this it's a diary because I don't think I'm going to write on it every day.
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I left my "diary"under my pillow and I hope no one will be able to find it until I come back from school and I can look for a better place to hide it.
I take my backpack that's empty as all first days of school as we do nothing these first days, and I go downstairs. When I arrive to the hallway I see my mom, waiting to me with that face that means " I'm waiting for you" , so I say goodbye to my dad and my mom and I leave.
We got into the car and, as always, I turn on radio and I sing a couple sentences while I listen to it. My mom is thinking about something or she is worried about whatever but something it's happening on her mind, because I know her so well and now she isn't as always.
Suddenly she looks at me and I don't want to look worried about school, because I know if she notices that I'm worried she will start telling me that I will make new friends, that I will like it and all that stupid stuff which moms normally say. So I try to seem happy, but she keeps looking at me. I start to get nervous because she is looking at me more than ever and I don't know what to say or what to do. Before I look away she asks me:
-Are you excited?
-Yes, sure. Well as always, I say.
-But, do you feel nervous, or sad?
I get shocked my mom never asks me that kind of things, and obviously I'm not nervous, I'm terrified and I'm not sad, I'm so sad. So I have no idea how to lie my mom; I take a deep breath and I say firmly:
-No, I'm just a bit nervous but it's okay.
Then I smile and I hope I have convinced her.
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