Borders & Rules

Chapter 23

Dr Wilson
Saturday

hi can we talk?

I have SO many questions. God.

It was the next evening at the trip and it took me a while to find them, but as I approached the noisy room and finally entered, they greeted me with cheers and it filled me with joy. Was I that popular? Nope. Not really. But Louis was. And he drew me into popularity.

It's really hard to explain how it felt to be popular after being invisible for so long. It was thrilling, guys.

I sat next to Louis as he was talking to one of the girls. I found Jeremy next to him and it wasn't even a second our eyes met but I got so hot and nervous I started avoiding his eyes. Knowing that Jeremy was gay had put some pressure on me. Because now I wanted to do everything in my power to get him to like me. And I really think I would have done anything.

It wasn't rest time yet, so they were very noisy. Yelling and laughing at every little thing. And then they went through the questions to which I already knew the answers. And other questions which were pretty daring in my opinion. They were seriously obsessed with finding out how and how often they do it. And—to tell you the truth—me too. But I guess for other reasons.

But these questions didn't just excite me. They scared me to death too. When I heard them talk so openly about things, I thought I was lagging behind. And I should hurry. And that thought scared me so much that my stomach hurt all evening. Which ended up being so bad that I had to leave early and ask a teacher for some painkillers.

I was on my way back to my room when I saw Blair's reply and I stopped in the middle of the hallway just to read and answer.

Im honored but you can call me blair

Sorry love my brother took my phone.

What's up?

Honestly, it might sound like an exaggeration, but having Blair call me 'love' was a freaking honor for me. That's why I suddenly found it so easy to text him.

oh

I thought you suddenly had a sense of humor

Come on it wasn't even funny

are you busy?

Not anymore

But Angus thinks he's funny today, so don't be surprised if some nonsense comes up

Is Angus your brother?

Yes.

okay

I'd appreciate it if he doesn't read my messages because this is gonna get embarrassing

can we talk on the ph—

„Hey." I shrugged so hard I almost let my phone fall. I kind of short circuited when I saw Jeremy in front of me. He looked even more shocked than me with his huge brown eyes. He raised his hands in innocence. „Jesus, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

„No." My voice sounded like I haven't spoken for years. I cleared my throat. „It's fine. I'm fine." My phone vibrated but I was too tense to look at it. And I actually didn't really care anymore. Jeremy had my full attention now.

„Er..." He scratched the back of his head and smoothly pointed in the direction of the room he probably just came from. Where everybody was still very loud. „Chloe somehow managed to smuggle alcohol in. Wanna join?" Is Jeremy just asking me to drink alcohol with him? Nahh. I'm probably misinterpreting that again.

Somehow I forgot how talking works. „Uh... I'm only fifteen." And now I wanted to hit myself. I sounded like the ultimate bore. Yes, Jesus Christ, just say yes. What is wrong with me??

„I mean yes," he laughed. „But if you wanna try you can just join."

I opened my mouth but didn't know what to say. I closed my mouth again. In the end I just said, „okay" and gritted my teeth. This was so cringe. I was so cringe. Oh god.

„Great." Quite sure Jeremy misunderstood my 'okay' since he apparently expected me to join now. I didn't want to join, to be honest. I wasn't really a big fan of alcohol. It did enough damage to my family. But I told you before. I would do anything to get him to like me.