Wanted: The FanPeople Love Greg

Camping Ch8

A/N as always, G-Man, Overprotective AI, & Mike belong to ShyCourage

Spider-Man ended up scarfing down twice as many hot dogs as his companions, which led to an awkward explanation of his hyper-metabolism to the few who weren't previously aware. That led to the even more awkward discussion about the difficulties in maintaining such a needy diet. Some shortcomings were admitted; some chastising occurred; and the promise of working on a solution lingered.

"I've been synthesizing these bars that should help make up for what I can't get enough of," Spider-Man explained. "It's just taking a while because I'm more of a chemistry and physics guy. I mean, sometimes I dabble in programming and mechanics, but those aren't my mains, and they definitely don't help much in this situation. I'm pretty much adding a whole new field to my repertoire in order to make them, so it's taking a lot longer than my other projects."

Xander whistled, filing away the information that Spider-Man was a scientist of some sort (as did every officer aside from Greg). "Impressive."

"I'm proud," Greg smiled. "You should show them what you showed me back when we were setting up."

Spider-Man blushed and ducked his head, an embarrassed smirk resting on his lips, which he tried to hide by awkwardly rubbing his neck. "FABAE isn't a big deal-"

"I'm the biggest deal you're ever gonna get, Spider-Baby!"

"-I don't think they'd really be interested in seeing her."

"Ouch, you're hurting my feelings, Kid."

Spider-Man sighed and offered the group an apologetic smile before turning his head and tapping his ear, to make it obvious that he was talking to a voice that only he could hear. Y'know, so they didn't think he was crazy or anything. "FABAE, you know full and well that I don't mean it like that."

"I know. You're just self-conscious about showing off, which isn't what would be happening. Greg wanted them to see. You didn't initiate anything."

"If you knew so much, then why make such a fuss?"

"Being dramatic is kinda fun! I see why those girls on the internet like it so much!"

"I think you're getting some potentially bad influences, FABAE," Spider-Man frowned. "Maybe lay off that part of the internet until I can check it out."

"I'm sorry, who are you talking to?" Charles asked.

"FABAE was griping in my ear," Spider-Man replied. "Sorry."

Michael shared an uneasy look with Charles. "Are you hearing voices, man?"

Spider-Man blushed and slipped the earpiece out so they could see. "Technically, yes. But, I'm only hearing one: FABAE's. She's an AI." Satisfied, he slid the small piece of tech back into his ear. "I have her in my normal mask, but I wear the earpiece when I'm in my civies."

"'Civies'," Greg explained, "is slang for 'civilian clothing'. You'll catch on. I'm going to grab stuff for s'mores, so I'll be right back." He got up and left.

"So, you really made an AI?" Michael asked, his eyes twinkling just like a gem. Spider-Man gave him a small nod. "That's brilliant! Very few have accomplished that feat! You should be proud!"

"It's really not that big of a deal-"

"I'm calling baloney," Michael scoffed. "I'm not a scientist like yourself, but I keep up with what happens in the tech world, so you can't fool me, Short-Stack."

Spider-Man swallowed uncomfortably.

Brian piped up. "What can FABAE do?"

Spider-Man paused to gather his thoughts, and everyone was momentarily left to listen to the crackling of the fire. "She has access to my HUD, the internet, and my webshooters. So, instead of having to manually switch between my different types of webs, I can just ask her to do it. She's sentient, so her personality is always evolving. She started using sarcasm recently, and I have no idea as to where she picked that trait up."

"Liar," FABAE laughed.

"She's also gotten pretty protective, so that's interesting. She can obviously hack most systems, which comes in handy. And, she remembers everything, which has been embarrassing at times."

"I had to add to the conversation with your aunt somehow! How else was I supposed to match her showing baby pictures‽"

"Luckily, she can only raise her volume for everyone when each person in the group has been cleared to talk to her, otherwise she's just stuck in my ear."

"Why is that a good thing?" Brian inquired.

Spider-Man reddened. "She likes to divulge a lot of mortifying things. Like, she just referenced the time she told a family member about a Spider-Man fail. Also, if I randomly pause, it's because she started talking, so there's that."

"Sounds like she makes life more interesting," Charles noted, waving at Greg as he finally returned. "Ever make a s'more, Spidey?"

"I have, actually," Spider-Man claimed happily. Somehow he seemed more proud with this skill than the previous conversation topic.

"Oh!" Charles blurted suddenly. "Xander, you have got to tell Spider-Man that one story!"

Xander blinked. "That one story?"

"The one with the furry and the potato and the parking ticket!"

Xander laughed. "Yeah, okay."

And so, the rest of the night was spent with everyone regaling Spider-Man with their wildest stories of weird things that people had actually done. It ranged from wacky bribes to wild crimes. Most of the culprits turned out to be drunk, which leads us to a very important and very rare moral in today's story:

Don't get drunk, kids - you'll do a bunch of stupid crap. No, I don't care that all the other kids are doing it too. It's trouble, you hear? Erm, read?