You must be a god

We need to live in a castle

I don't know why but after that day I have wanted to find him again, I needed to tell him how I've felt, It's been two years and there has been nothing.

"Dad...will I ever find Samuel?..." I say with a sad expression almost on the verge of tears

He shoots a glare at me "Why do you care about that boy so much???? Philip if he wanted to talk to you, he would have given you his address. Now please go eat, your mother made dinner."

Two years...do I need to give up on finding him? It was snowing that day but I wanted to go to my field hoping I see him in that tree with his book and wooden sword. I grab my jacket, basket, mittens that mr mulligan had made for me, and put my snow boots on then left. When I get to the field nothing is there so instead I just crawl up in a tree and look out at the sheet of white that covers what used to be a rainbow field of flowers. That's when I hear crunching in the woods behind me.

"Hello?! Who goes there!! Stay back I have a knife!!" I yell and grab my pocket knife.

I see a deer run out, that thing was huge! Bigger than me! It ran past me when I hear it let out a cry and fall to the ground. That's when I hear  3 more gun shots, I crawl back up the tree when he comes through—SAMUEL!

"SAMUEL!! UP HERE!!" I yell with the happiest expression.

"Huh? Where!!?" He had started to look around.

I grabbed a stick and threw it at him and we both started to laugh so hard I fell out of the tree and broke my right arm. He helped me up and hugged me, my heart....I felt that feeling again....am I in love?....no..I can't be...men can only love women right? What is wrong with me? I could get killed for this oh my god. That day we sat and talked for hours, with every beautiful word falling out of his mouth like a waterfall I could feel my face get hot.

"Are you ok??" He gave me a crooked look.

"Huh? Huh? Yeah! I'm ok!! Swear on it" I chuckled  and looked away.

Wow, he's so handsome. Why do I find him so handsome? It's almost as if even though it had snowed and covered the flowers he had made me feel just as happy as when they were bloomed. I came back to reality and realized he's laying on my lap my stomach felt sick, I want to dance with him...he's so beautiful. I soon realized that we had both fallen asleep, when I woke up however he was gone...so I went home. My father was angry at me but I didn't mind I just went home and fell back asleep.