Forget Wet Dreams, Lasagna and y/n Dreams

Chapter 1 - the Ginger Haired God Next Door

Disclaimer:
This story is purely a joke. Please do not take it seriously.
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It was a beautiful day in November and y/n was moving into a new house. The house was cozy and y/n had fallen in love with it as soon as they saw it on Zillow for $36373828829282.69 and knew they had to buy it. So within the week the house was sold and under y/n's name. However y/n was not able to move in for 2 months because they still had a lease with their cousin, Addie, for an apartment and they couldn't just leave Addie, her 8 frogs, 26 fish, 11 snakes, and 3 squirrels.

Y/N's House Inspo

When y/n had finally finished pushing all of their boxes into the house they were exhausted but content with their choice to move. Suddenly their doorbell rings and when they open the door they are met with a mouth watering chocolaty, cinnamony, woodsy, sweet scent and a tall, muscular, hot, ginger haired guy who was exactly their type.

"Hello," his voice was a warm baritone that made y/n feel strangely safe. "I live in the house next door and I noticed this house was finally being used so I thought I would stop by and give you some cookies as a house warming gift."

That's when y/n noticed a large platter of chocolate chip cookies he was holding. They had been so distracted by his huge biceps and buff chest that they hadn't even realized what he held.

"O-oh thank you! This means so much to me. I'm y/n! Nice to meet you." Y/n was so nervous because their stomach felt all fluttery from his attention. He smirked and instantly made y/n get more nervous but giddy because he definitely noticed them staining at his perfect body.

"It's nice to meet you too. Well, I aught to be going now," he said as he placed the platter in y/n's hands, bushing briefly against their pinky finger. Spark lit up y/n's hand from the brief touch but they hid it.

Y/n smiled back at him and bid him goodbye.

***

The rest of the day y/n could not stop thinking about their neighbor. When they finally fell asleep they dreamed of their neighbor laying in bed with them and his soft yet firm lips brushing against their's. Y/n awoke with a dampness between their legs and a insatiable hunger for their neighbor to touch them. They threw their head back in frustration as their hand traveled down their smooth skin. Sliding down the curve of they stomach to the heat between their legs. They touched themselves while imagining their neighbor between their legs. Touching. Licking. Even biting. Soon y/n was wiggling with the need to cum before exploding over the edge with images of their neighbor pleasuring them in their head.

***

Once y/n's mind cleared from the fog of pleasure they felt conflicted. On one had, pleasuring themself while thinking of their neighbor seemed wrong. But then why did it feel so good? To clear their mind, y/n decided to go for a walk in the woods around their house but they had to get dressed and eat breakfast before that. They wondered into their 8 story closet filled with clothes that were only neon orange or royal blue.

Outfit Inspo

After eating 83 pancakes and 1 blueberry with their coffee, they were ready to go out. Y/n locked their door and started walking into the woods. Their heals sinking into the soft soil with every step but y/n persevered. The minutes flew by and before they knew it y/n was hungry for lunch but as they looked around trying to retrace their steps they realized they were lost.

"Fffuuuuuuuuucckkkkkkkkk," they groaned. "Why do I have such terrible navigation skills? And I even forgot my snail shaped compass in that one drawer in my kitchen."

Y/n turned around and around trying to find a tree or rock that they might recognize but after a couple minutes with no luck, they decided to simply choose a direction and walk. After another hour y/n was convinced they had made no progress and was starting to feel hopeless.

"Excuse me-"

A deep voice startled y/n, making them jump.

"WHO THE FUCK IS OUT HERE" Y/n yells in surprise quickly turning to face the owner of the voice.  "Oh! You!" it was their neighbor from the other day, shirtless and sweaty, looking like a god. They start to laugh awkwardly because of the situation. "Sorry about that little outburst, bro."

"No worries," their neighbor responds with a smirk.

Y/n's weak smile fades as they realize they just called their hot neighbor who they met just yesterday "bro."

"Fuck me in the ass," they cursed themself in their head.

"Really? I mean- I'm down if you are," their neighbor said coyly.

Apparently not.

"Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh... not today," they said. Their mind blank.

"Ok, well why are you out here?"

With their dignity already all gone, y/n had nothing to loose so they admitted the truth. "I got lost..."

"Oh, no worries. Everyone gets lost in here at least once." their neighbor assured them. "But you will learn the area after a bit so follow me. I'll take you back to your place."

Y/n jumped for joy at the proposition and thanked him "you're the best!"

***

The walk back was surprisingly quick and when they got back to y/n's house y/n invited their neighbor inside.

Inside their meager home, their neighbor seemed to barely fit and made everything look smaller.

"Do you want some tea?" Y/n was now cursing themselves for not going to the grocery store yet because that meant they only had cheeseburger flavored apple sauce, 18 pumpkins, and tea.

"No, thank you. I should be heading back home," their neighbor responded.

"Ok. bye..." y/n realized that they still had no idea what their neighbor's name was so they paused with a confused exprès ok their face."

"Garfield. My name is Garfield," he says.

"Well then, bye Garfield. Thank you."

"Of course. Oh, also, for future reference, if you want to thank me... I'd prefer you on your knees instead of tea. Bye!"

And with that, Garfield left.