The Neverland Project ✎

━━ four

At two-thirty, I threw open the front door of my house. I'd just dropped Amelia back at home and had then sped to my house, hurrying back to my sister. My backpack dropped off of my shoulder and onto the ground as I kicked off my sneakers and rushed up the stairs. The door to Aurelia's room was closed, the lights in the hall turned off. I could hear the faint rush of air from her breath as I opened the door to reveal her lying in her bed, surrounded by mountains of pillows. 

Martina had switched the lamp next to her bed off, but the pink lights strung along the border of her room were still on, giving everything a rosy colouring. I picked one of her favourite stuffed animals up off of the floor where she must have flung it in her sleep. It was a purple stuffed bear that had a rainbow ribbon tied around its neck, she'd it nicknamed Toffee. Toffee lay there on the ground, face down in the cream carpet, stained from years of finger paint and markers. 

I held the bear in my hands, feeling the soft purple fur. I adjusted the ribbon around the bear's neck so that the little heart charm was in the front. Pressing the toy into my face, I inhaled softly. The stuffed animal smelt like paint and strawberry shampoo and just Aurelia. The little bear looked up at me with his lopsided smile and embroidered eyes. 

I placed the bear under Aurelia's arm and pressed a kiss onto her forehead. My fingers brushed over her cheeks that were ice cold under my touch. I shuddered at the thought of her laying here, freezing and alone. Reluctantly I pulled away and left the room, only allowing the tears to run down my cheeks once the door was closed. 

Downstairs, Martina was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee from one of Mom's mugs. She smiled at me as I unpacked my lunch bag, taking the plastic containers out and placing them on the kitchen counter. I smiled back at her, gritting my teeth behind my lips. Martina being here, being almost an honorary member of our family only reminded me of my failures as an older sister and the disease that plagued our home.  

When I came back into the kitchen from grabbing my school books Martina was filling a kettle with water from the kitchen tap, making another tea. 

"Peppermint or chamomile Cherry?" She asked, deep brown eyes filled with a look of sympathy and pity. 

I glowered at her momentarily before answering her, "Peppermint please," I replied. My voice sounded harsh, even to my own ears. 

Martina just nodded, placing the full kettle on the stove and another mug from the cabinet. I heard her open the pantry where we stored our tea, but I was already halfway up the stairs, clutching my books to my chest. 

I wished she wasn't here. I wished that my family didn't need her. I wished that she would just go away and that my sister would wake up in the morning and be okay. The door to my room was open and I entered quickly, setting my books down on my desk. I made my way to the window that overlooked the backyard. The swing set in the back corner was standing there, rusty from a summer of being unused. There was a fire pit in the middle of the yard, surrounded by dead grass and a circle of thrifted patio chairs. 

We used to sit around that fire when the weather allowed it. My mother would cut hotdogs so that when we roasted them over the flames they would open up like spiders. We'd pitch a tent and sleep under the few stars that shone through the light that polluted the suburban sky. 

Now, in November, the brown grass was covered in frost. The swings moved back and forth in the slight breeze, leftover from the rainstorms of October. A couple of the chairs that usually sat around the fire pit had been blown over, laying on their backs on the lawn. We hadn't sat out there around the fire at all this summer, save a couple of times just as school ended. 

I closed the blinds in my room, blocking out the sight of the backyard. It hurt to look at the past. The things that used to hold my little family together. We hadn't done anything together for so long. I missed those nights when we'd lay on blankets in the yard. Mom would be in the middle with Aurelia and me on either side. Aurelia had her little arms wrapped around my mother's arm while I had my arms around her waist. Our hair spread out on the blanket above our heads, a crown of golden locks.