Butterflies of the Dark Star

47 (REVISED)

The quiet oozed from the black hole itself.

Nothing lived and nothing breathed.

No one said a word when Admiral Mythrai called for an early recess, with Neo among the first to stumble out. Nova chased after him before time stole him farther out of her reach. "Neo, wait!" She shoved through the crowd in space to get to him. He shambled to a stop and twisted on his feet. "Talk to me. Are you okay?"

He raised his hands to stop her from coming closer with a small whimper. "I-I'm fine," he rasped. "I'm okay, just—I got overwhelmed and overloaded with all that was happening and I'm usually much better than that but then I was sick and it just messed up my rhythm and—"

"No, Neo, you don't need to give me excuses or explanations, it's okay." Nova gripped his clammy fingers. "I just wanted to know if you're okay, if I could help you." Her fingers dug around his own when he shook. "If there's any way I can help you—"

He flicked his gaze to Thuni and Ulin when they left the dome, and he stiffened further. "I just got overwhelmed," he repeated with a shaken echo. "I got overwhelmed—What's wrong with me?" He brought his hands to his temples. "I was supposed to be fine. I was supposed to be able to handle it."

"Talk to me," she whispered and came closer to hold his arms. "What's wrong?"

"I just-I just need some space, please," at his request, she let go. "I don't want to take my aggravation out on others, you know? I didn't mean it. I didn't think about what I said until I said it. I never think about what I say." His frown cracked as he stepped away from her. "I'm sorry."

"Neo, you don't have to be sorry—"

Neo pushed his hands in the air between them with a rapid shake of his head before rubbing his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry," he repeated as he pressed his hands together to push against the tips of his fingers, something she had seen him do when he was particularly excited or agitated so many times, but this time, told the truth of his well-being in full clarity, and the perspective punched her in the gut when he rasped, "I'll feel better. I'm fine. I'm going to go to Habitation if you need me. I'll talk to you later. I have to go do the reports—and I have to figure out what I'm missing."

"Neo, wait—" Nova frowned when he rushed from her without another word. Neo... you can... talk to me. Pain caught in her throat at his distress. I... want to understand you, I want to hear you. Tears fell down her face from a strange sense of disbelief and a touch of realisation at something so far away. Neo, it's you! she wanted to call him back. I want to hear you!

Tell me what's wrong.

Nova turned to Ulin and Thuni. Ulin frowned at Neo's disappearing shape with a look of distressed familiarity. Thuni folded his arms.

"I'm sure him not feeling well didn't help the sensory overload he must've got from having to present all the facts and keep them straight at the same time," Ulin observed, and when Nova widened her eyes, they shrugged. "Thuni told me."

"He said he wanted space," Nova whispered.

"If that's what he needs," Ulin said without the knowledge of the loops.

What he needs is to get out of this loop. It's hurting him. Nova dug her teeth in and set herself in motion. "You need help with your core?" I need to see this for myself. If the sample didn't reset, Neo changed something major. I need to pin it down to break the loop. I don't think Neo vaporizing that monster killed it... I think it did something worse.

"Sure," Ulin said and took the lead to the transit station. "You might be able to give us some insight, especially if Teimea isn't feeling well."