Butterflies of the Dark Star

LOG 007

TERMINAL: ONLINE

USER: Intern Researcher T-eI-ME-a of the B.H-D.S Supernova-Butterfly.

DRONE: ANOMALY SCANNED — CLASS ???. BIOLOGICAL AND CHEMICAL MATCH DATA CONFIRMED. MESSAGES UNABLE TO BE RECEIVED. CREATOR NOVA SPACYN, PLEASE RESPOND.

MESSAGES:

What must I do?

I just want you in my life.

Just talk to me.

(MESSAGES FAILED)

I know

I'm sorry

I'm trying

But there's something wrong with me

LOG:

I don't know what's wrong with this terminal. I would've bothered you about it, but... I don't know.

I don't think I know anything.

You were distracted at the start of the shift. You were upset about something... at least, I remember you being upset about something. But w h e n?

I left the anomaly after I poked it and went to bed...

Anyway, I guess it bore some fruit after all. There is no doubt in my mind that this anomaly is alive — and a heart reacting to stressors in the immediate environment. I mean, it was brought up during the meeting to conduct a rather simple, cursory experiment on it.

I...

I don't know what came over me.

I lost my composure. It grappled my throat and pushed words through. I mean, not that weird, considering it's me, but... Out of anger? I felt angry. I've never even been that angry last I can recall.

...

Or... maybe I was? Is that why you were upset? Is that why you looked at me with confusion and uncertainty? I did something wrong, I know it. I'm always doing something wrong in some way.

I have to be better than that.

Just so everyone around me isn't burdened.

I didn't want to do that experiment.

I was against it.

Maybe I was against it from the start.

What is the point of putting it under undue stress on a lifeform we don't understand? We don't know where the host body is. Everything about this is infuriating.

Obviously, I'm just in my Internship. It's just an inexperienced, possibly stupid opinion. If I react like that, how can I get anyone to take me seriously—

—to t o l e r a t e me?—

If I don't open my arguments with concise and knowledgeable observations with facts to back it up then... I'm not much of a scientist. I came here to learn, to see how those with experience do it, and then apply it to my final studies. It should be as simple as that.

There's no going back, and the briefing is soon... I asked you why you were upset, what I could do to try and be—

—n o t m e—

...

I mentioned the terminal acting strange.

You looked like a deer in the headlights, and absconded without another word. Did I do something wrong?

I don't want to disturb you, I don't want to be in the way. I don't want to make things difficult because I can't just not be who I am.

I'm sorry. I want to tell you I'm sorry. I don't know w h y I want to say sorry, but I am. 

I'm sorry.

Why does it hurt so much?

I'm tired. I want to sleep, but it hurts.