Checkmate

46

   The sun had long gone down by the time I stepped onto the balcony. I hadn't drunk nearly enough to numb out the pain, but my legs showed resilience when ordered to move, hence why I now sat on a metal chair, my back aching from the way I leaned over the table, staring forward aimlessly.

   My mind wouldn't allow me to escape. Two days had already gone by but the wound was still just as fresh, with no intention of getting better. Colton had crossed the line I believed him too good now to even consider stepping near. The image of him walking away was almost identical to the one from six years ago. Except the last one was blurred by my tears and crumbled by my pain. This time it was bearable, while then, everything in me wanted to coil up in a corner, having to process that the only man I'd ever loved had laid his hand on me.

"Kim!"

My head snapped towards the door.

   So this is that light at the end of the tunnel they constantly talk about. From the second Colton kissed me, I fell into infinite darkness, an abyss that I had no clue how to get out of. Interacting with the kids was like a well-learned choreography; rehearsed and played to perfection. But now he was here. Now, I was faced with the worried expression he wore as he looked at me.

Vulnerable under his gaze, I somehow found the strength to get up.

   My feet barely lifted off the ground as I walked to him. He stood there, looking down at me as I gave him a relieved smile before the tears welled up in my eyes again. Jarred has always been my haven, but now more than ever, I needed shelter. Engulfed in his embrace, I knew I found it.

With a few looks exchanged between us, he led us back inside and began to make me coffee. I stayed at the entrance of the kitchen, staring at the machine.

"If I had known being away would get you in that state, I would've canceled my plans," he said, smiling an innocent grin.

   I smiled right back. It was obvious that he wasn't sure how to act around me, yet he still took care of me. Without exchanging a word, we waited for the coffee to be done. Mugs in hand, I stopped him before he turned towards the stairs, "I need to talk to you."

   His lingering gaze made my mouth go dry. I knew he wouldn't hold it against me for having taken so long to tell him all the details about my past. He knew my baggage was heavy, and always respected my need for space and to take things slow. The other night, Colton forced open Pandora's box, and because of the kiss, I couldn't keep the ugly truth from Jarred anymore. For my safety, and his, I needed to tell him the whole story.

   We left our mugs in the kitchen and he followed me into the living room. As I spoke, he remained silent. His mouth was pressed firmly against his knuckles. I would've thought I lost him a long time ago if it weren't for his eyes; the way they darkened as his fists tightened, while still keeping alive the sparkle of unshed tears. For me; for what Colton had done to our family.

"What did he do to you?" he whispered, his jaw clenched.

I hesitated, "I... I just told you."

Jarred shook his head.

"No. That was then. There are two bottles of wine missing, one is now empty while the other went bad and is sitting on your nightstand as we speak," he remarked matter-of-factly, still not looking at me.

I lowered my head, embarrassed to have been caught, but pleased that he knew me so well.

He curled his finger under my chin, lifting my head again.

"The circles around your eyes are turning into bruises because you wiped them way too hard these past few days, and the only time I ever saw you smoke was months ago when he just came back into your life."