Doctor x Rose: For Rose

For Rose

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Doctor Who or the characters. I am just some poor kid writing fanfiction, seriously why sue me?

His dark brown eyes had lost their sparkle. They looked tired and worn. As if they had seen too many terrible things.

And they had.

The usual smiling mouth was gone. It wasn't pouting. No, it was drawn into a tight line.

An emotionless line.

The brown hair had lost its messy yet playful look. It looked disheveled. Messy...but no one would ever say playful. He ran a hand through his hair. Not to try to fix it. He wasn't even aware he was doing it. Almost as a nervous tick.

But he wasn't nervous.

 The doctor cried. He was unashamed of his tears. What others thought didn't matter. Nothing matter. Not after she was gone.

She mattered.

But now she was gone. And it was his fault. There was no one to tell him that he tried his best and there was nothing he could have done. There was no one to tell him it wasn't his fault. There was no one left.

 And it was his fault.

At least she wasn't dead, he thought bitterly. Maybe she wasn't dead, but he was. His heart had died that day. Both of his hearts.

He had nothing to live for. Not really.

This version of himself had nothing left. Maybe he should just start over. He could do that. A new self, a new life.

A fresh start. One without all the sadness. The pain and sadness would be gone. The misery and guilt would disappear.

The emptiness wouldn't be found.

The memories would still be there. Haunting him. He managed to live with worse. A lot worse...the memories would be shallow. None of the feeling. Like reading about it in a book.

Just a reflection.

After everything he done for the universe. Saving innocence lives. Always helping others. Couldn't he have one thing? He didn't desire happiness. No, he had made too many tough choices. He just didn't expect unhappiness.

From where he was sitting, on the edge of his TARDIS, he could see the earth. The earth where she belonged.

He belonged nowhere.

No, he belonged with her. Always.

The universe he saved...life seemed distant. Almost as though he wasn't really there. In a different universe...

As if it was a dream.

If life was but a dream to him, then maybe he should sleep. This version should go to sleep.

Eternal sleep.

"And by a sleep to say we end The heartache"..yes. That would be nice. He was old,older than any human.

He was tired.

Exhausted,really. He should sleep. Then wake up and be renewed.

Regenerated.

"To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

 For in that sleep of death what dreams may "

Ah. The famed shakespeare. The bard. There was someone he liked to meet.

Or more accurately, she like to meet.

Ironic now, he was quoting him. Alone. Hamlet, The Prince of Denmark. One of shakespeare's most famous plays with his most well-known soliquies.

 He understood the troubled prince. He understood the need for revenge, the feeling of giving up. He understood perfectly.

He also had lost his sweet Olipah.

And it was his doings just like it was Hamlet's.

There was one important different. There was no Harito. Nobody to say "Good night, sweet prince."

He was alone.

Totally alone. The last of his kind. Maybe the reign of time lords should end. Finally. The others had got their rest.

Now it was his turn.

"No," The Doctor said through gritted teeth. He would find her. Maybe he couldn't keep her, but he could get a goodbye.

One goodbye.

A perfect one. He would tell her everything. How he always felt. Words he hadn't said in a long time...especially not to a human.

But she's wasn't just "a human." She was Rose. The human he loved.

"A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet."

More Shakespeare. This time from the play. Romeo and Juliet. The star-crossed lovers.

They were universe-crossed lovers.

And he would found her and profess his love to her.

Whatever he had to do for one last time.

He shut the doors of his TARDIS as his mind went to the problem. The calculations running quickly through his mind. As he entered the coordinates, he whispered a soft "Allons-y." Just for old time sake.

For Rose.

A/N: So this was a short one-shot I found on my phone that I wrote a while ago. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes! Hope you enjoyed and if you did, show it. :) Thanks...