Just a Kiss

The One, And Only Chapter

Here we go again...

From the moment I set eyes on her I knew she was special, this is one sentence that comes to mind whenever I think of this girl, and she may have been in my life for only a few months, but those months were some of the greatest I’ve ever had.

 Back in July of 2014, a month or so after my attempted suicide I got to know a girl who had been in my class for a while: Jazmin, an English girl who not only was intelligent, but exuded the aura of an angel. She was in my Art class, I sat on a table with some of my friends. We were all making a paper mache form our own mind: I had chosen a honey twirler and Jazmin had picked a giant peach, I spent most of my time on DeviantArt anyways. But one day to my surprise, she called me over to help her: so as you do, I got up from my desk and walked over to her bench to help out, we got talking and so I ended up getting to know her, liked so many of the things I did: Legend of Zelda, the same authors and everything, like someone who was absolutely perfect for my tastes and everything. After talking to her at school and social media for a few weeks, having casual banter I found out I had developed an attraction to her, and well…as you do I gathered what little courage I had and told her about my feelings and to my absolute surprise she had the same feelings; we organised to see each other at the beach and go for a walk for that day, it was a small trek back to her house from the beach, but we continued along the beachfront hills along the Hallett Cove shore. We walked up until almost Lonsdale area where we heard gunshots and stopped dead in our tracks, it turned out to be some technicians testing machinery in the open fields.

 Just as we were going to turn back and walk the way we came, I spotted a small grove under the cover of a single tree, a willow. Smoothing the fencing so Jazmin could walk towards the tree, I took her hand and started walking with her, once we reached the tree we discovered someone had been using it as a cubby house type area. We climbed the small but strong tree to a palette that someone had nailed to the limbs of the willow, and from around midday to sunset: we talked about things, the normal things teens talk about, but then it got really sweet and heartfelt. She got a phone call, and so I waited for her to finish, she looked at me with solemn eyes and said that she had something to say: there was another boy that she liked, and she had liked him pretty much since she came to my school. And my motives went from love to trying to win her heart, I still talked to her as much as I could, we wrote songs and poems about each other. A week or so of this passed, and Jazmin and I decided to meet at the beach again after school, we were there for around 2 hours, and we spent maybe the first ten minutes talking about what was happening before we just hugged on the spot: spent the remaining hour and fifty minutes being as close as possible while crying our eyes out.

 It was there that I took her first kiss…an almost stereotypical first kiss: my back lit by the setting sun, waves lapping at my heels, tears running down our faces in rivers, it lasted ten maybe 15 seconds…not even close to being long enough.

 After our moment, she laid her head down on my chest and cried into my shirt while saying over and over again “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” It was then that I got a message from my father telling me to come home, I ignored it and spend a little more time with her, once we finally parted ways I had mixed feelings of love and sadness, I tried to talk to her more, but she just spent more and more time with the other guy Tylick, or however his name was spelt, I never really bothered to learn it. I thought that she was just spending time with him to work out who she would choose, but it turned out she had already made her choice: one of my friends pulled me aside and said to wait there while they got Jazmin, she took my hand and led me to a corner of the school oval. She told me that she had picked Tylick and apologised that it couldn’t work out the way that I wanted it to.

 For a while after that I was a little bit heartbroken, I was just in a flat mood for a while as you normally would be. She sent me texts saying not to cry anymore. But then I caught wind that Tylick got bored of her and wanted her to break up with him, so as to preserve his popularity. Once she found out about that, well…it was over between them, I still held my heart out for her, but there was someone else in her vision: Riley, a good friend of mine. I mean I was happy to see the two of them happy together, but it still killed me inside.

 And after all that, the end of the school year approached, we hugged goodbye for the holidays and I apologised for me overreacting. I got a message on Snapchat one day in the holidays from her, it stated simply “Goodbye SnapchatJ” I got a few texts from her friends who had taken her phone in an attempt to tug at some heartstrings “Hey, would you marry me. Please?”

 I went back to school after the holidays had finished, she wasn’t there: friends of hers told me that she moved to Aldinga, no one said a thing to me about when she left and why. She just vanished and never said a thing to me about it, she told Riley: but not me. And it crushed what little hope I had left.

 I never cried after that, not even at the two funerals I’ve been to since that time. The most that’s happened is a single tear