I lay in my head curled up with a pillow, I dial Josh's number into my phone. It rings for a while and goes to voicemail.
"Hey Josh, it's me, uh I'm home. You'd know that if you'd answer your phone. This is getting ridiculous." I hang up after that and toss my phone and bury my face into the pillow.
"Still no answer?" Serena says, her voice sounding from the door.
"No." I mumble into the pillow.
I hear her feet pad on the laminate floor, the bed dipping as she gets on it. She grabs me and spoons me as we always do when the other is sad.
"What if he was doing it just to make fun of me."I say my voice cracking.
"I doubt it, maybe he's just really busy." She says rocking us a bit.
"So busy that he can't just send me at least one text?" I ask.
"I guess that's not likely but maybe he lost his phone or something?" She whispers as we rock a little more.
"I just don't want to be used again." I reply just as quiet my eyes filling with liquid.
"Give it another day, and if he doesn't contact you by then we will try something else, okay buba?" He asks.
"Fine." I sigh causing her to kiss my head.
"Want to go get some ice cream and then go shopping?" She asks me with an obvious grin.
"I want Josh and to fuck." I whine causing her to laugh.
"I can't help you with the Josh part but I can help you with the other." She says causing me to laugh too.
"My lesbian lover!" I sing and roll out of bed.
"Yay we're getting ice cream!" She squeals and runs out of my room causing me to laugh.
***
"Hurry up, Serena!" I whine as she plays on her phone.
"No." She says causing my eyes to widen.
"Fine, I'm going to the car then." I say and push myself out of the chair I'm sitting in.
I make my way outside, bored to death of being in the ice cream shop. We've been sitting in there for hours it feels like, and honestly I think we were in there for two hours.
I sit myself in the drivers side of the car and pull my phone out to see if I have any new text messages. And imagine that, there's nothing there. I decide to take a photo of my makeupless face and post it on instagram.
Serena won't get her fat ass out of the ice cream shop , helppp meeee!!! @bigfluffyunicorns
I post the photo and look back up to see her phone pressed against her ear and she's looking directly at me. She immediate looks away as we make eyecontact. I roll my eyes and sigh plugging the keys in the ignition, turning some music on. Twenty one Piltos filling up the car.
"I ponder of something great, my lungs will and then deflate." I 'rap' along with the singer. "They fill with fire, exhale desire, I know it's dire my time today." I look up to see Serena finally standing. "I have these thoughts so often I ought to replace that slot with what I once bought because someone stole my car radio and now I just sit in silence." I whisper along as she skips out and walks over to my side. I raise my brow in confusion as she knocks on the window and opens the door.
"I'm driving, I'm taking you home then have to go somewhere." She says causing me to sit in confusion.
"Why do I have to go home and then where are you going?" I ask not moving.
"Becuase you won't have a ride home, I'm going to uh, Kevin's." She says hesitantly.
"Okay." I say skeptically raising my eyebrow.
I get out of the car and walk around to the other side as she gets in. I buckle up and stare at her with an odd look.
"What?" She asks as she backs up, the song changing.
"Why did you say you're going to Kevins? You're obviously not." I say still looking at her. I try not to laugh as the song that comes on is Tool's cover of You Lied.
"I can't tell you!" She sqeaks and starts driving.
"Tell me!" I gradually get louder as I say the words.
"I'll get in trouble if I do!" She yells back at me.
"Tell me!" I squeal at her.
"No!" She squeals back and changes the song turning a Motionless in White song on causing my face to turn immediately red and skip the song. Leading to a Twisted Sister song, We're Not gonna take it.
"Seriously what's with these songs right now." I say causing Serena to laugh.
"God I fucking hate life sometimes." I sigh leaning back in my chair.
"Please don't be said bayboo, I would tell you but I was told not too and I think you'll like that I kept it a secret." She says sounding sad.
"It's not that. I'm just upset that Josh hasn't even tried to get ahold of me at all and it fucking kills me." I say tears welling up in my eyes.
"Maybe he can't, maybe he doesn't have reception?" She questions.
"Six fucking days though? Not one text from any of them. What if it was all just a big joke to them. They don't care about me, they probably recorded the whole thing and are going to post it and be like "haha we fucked with this girls emotioins.". Sadistic bastards." I sigh at the end of the sentence.
"I doubt they'd do that. Have you tried texting the others?" She asks.
"Yes, but nothing. It won't even say if they've read it or not." I sigh a bit and close my eyes as the song changes to I hate Myself For Loving you by Joan Jett. This causes me to break down, tears sliding down my cheeks.
"Don't cry baby!" She squeals changing the song pulling into the driveway
"I hate feeling this way over a fucking boy." I whimper out.
"Do you want me to stay at home with you?" She asks as she unbuckles.
"No, I'll just eat some ice cream and cuddle with Dakota." I sigh a bit unbuckling too.
"If you need anything, text me or call me. I love you so much." She says leaning over and giving me a hug.
I smile a bit too and give her a tight hug.
