Stay With Me ***Now Published***

Chapter 18 Natalie

I wake up to the sun shining through the curtains. I am still on the couch where I watched sad movies all night long. I told Justin to leave eventually because I just need to cry it out myself without anyone seeing me. I get up dragging myself to the coffee pot. I need coffee.

As I began making my coffee theres a knock at the door. My heart begins racing thinking its Nate. When I open the door I am disappointed to see its Justin. Not that Im not happy for him being here, but because I thought just maybe Nate would come to explain.

Something folded with my name written on it catches my attention as it drops to the ground.

It's Nates handwriting. I get it walking to the kitchen counter with Justin right behind me.

Natalie,

Its like every time we get ourselves over a situation something else seems to be dragged between us. I love you with all of my heart and because of that I am leaving. You have my heart so please keep it safe. I know I should talk to you in person hell who am I kidding itll be something worse next time so thats why I am giving you space. Space because I want us both to have clear minds and for you to be sure if you want to stay with me because damn it I want nothing more than to be with you baby. You have changed my entire world and I love you so fucking much that its killing me. I have met a lot of people but through all of it out of my life you among all will always be my favorite. I just hope it doesnt take a lifetime for you or me to figure this shit out. You my baby will always have me even if you move on, even if you decide to never speak to me again. Because at the end of the day you honestly are my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye even just sleeping.
I am sorry I am doing this, but its for the best. I want to give you the space without me being in your every corner. Below is my moms address because she would kill me if you stopped talking to her as well. I understand if its too hard on you, but my mom knows of nothing except that I left. I hope you understand. Anyways Natalie I fucking love you. Thank you for helping me change. I love you always baby.

Forever yours,

Nathan

I am crying by time I finish reading his letter. He left. We usually work things out even if its days later. We always end up back together. What makes this time so different? Why didnt he fight this time like he usually does for me? Why does it feel like I cant breathe now? He left. I dont even know where too. I fall to the floor holding my stomach and clutching his letter to my chest. Heartbreak. This is the true feeling of it.

As my sobs turn into me gasping for air. Justin picks me up not saying anything just taking me to my bed and holding me like a friend would. Not trying to overstep the boundary. I cried on his shoulder until I cant no more. Until there is nothing left to cry.

Its day one of this. How long will I feel this way? Eventually I get up dragging myself to the shower shutting the door. I turn the water on hot as I can get in sitting under the water crying silently to myself again. Hours have passed before I even got in. Now here I am crying again. When I pull myself together the water done turned cold and I quickly washed my hair and body. I put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I put my hair up in a messy bun. I dont want to do anything.

Nate did give me his moms address and although it means the world because shes like a mother I had I couldnt face her yet.

I send her a quick text that I will come see her very soon. I put my phone down to grab it to see Nate name under his moms name. I hit the dial and his phone just rings sending more tears to my eyes.

Hey its Nate I cant answer right now because Im driving or with my girl.- I hear myself giggling in the background. You know what to do after the beep.

Nathan? Please call me? I whisper hanging up

I make my way down staring at our messages when I see the bubbles pop up. I get joyful but disappointed when it goes away. I lock my phone seeing our picture together. I was laying on his chest as Layla was at the foot of the bed when she quickly capture this. Nate arm securely around me as we both laugh at the stupidity of Layla.

Natalie I got soup ready if youre hungry. Justin says bringing me out of my memory

Thank you Justin, but you dont have to sit around and watch me mop and cry myself to death.

I rather be here for you than at home knowing that you need a friend right now.

I look at Justin. Thank you. Not only for making soup, but for always being here.

Anything for you Natalie.

I look at the cabinets and fridge. I need to go grocery shopping. I want to redo the cabinets. To a dark grey color. I began looking around. I love this house, but right now it holds so many memories. I want a house with land and no neighbors.

Natalie? Justin says

What? I say looking at him

I see some ideas swirling in your eyes. What are you thinking?

I put my head down, because I tried to laugh, but couldnt.

I was honestly thinking about how much I love this house and so grateful for you giving it to me, but-

But you want to move? He finishes my sentence

I want a house with land and no neighbors. I whisper

Well this is your home remember do as you think is best for you.

First thing first I need to go grocery shopping. I dont want to leave the house anytime soon.

Ill come with you if you want me too.

Sure.

I put on my shoes because honestly having Justin with me makes me feel sane. My mind is all over the place and I cant focus much less focus on driving. I toss my keys to Justin, and he drives us to the store. Although it didnt take long to get to Walmart I still went to Nates name millions of times.

I wish he was here. Yes we fight like cat and dogs and at times I hate him, but I love him more than anything. I just dont get how this time is different.