Lost My Mind

Chapter 31

V knocked on her parents' door. The elevator led to the first floor of the penthouse suite, where they had a small front entry room. She and Matteo had ridden up the elevator the single floor they needed to pass, and her stomach had spent the whole time churning.
She stepped back from the door, standing next to Matteo. Grabbing his hand was tempting, but V figured she'd hold back for now. As much as she really, really wanted to hold his hand. (Cuddling on the couch before they'd pick up their new dog, Sylvester, had been really, really nice.)
Emiliana Bellandi, V's mother opened the door. She narrowed her eyes when she saw that V wasn't alone.
"Matteo, I must say I wasn't expecting you. This is a family only dinner." Maybe her words were supposed to be polite, but the underlying hostility was there. She was a bitter woman (which made sense, considering her mate and his treatment of her), and she had slightly more tact than Frankie, but only slightly more.
"He counts as family," V said, her voice weak. How did she tell her parents that she'd found her mate, much less that it was Matteo? They both loved him. Everybody loved him. But they probably didn't think V was good enough for him or that he was good enough for her. Or something. Mimi had always been the favorite, then Frankie. V had never been disliked or unloved, but she was the spare, and everybody knew it. Didn't stop Frankie and her dad from being supremely protective of her.
"Lettie, I know he's your brother's best friend, but he's not blood," Emiliana stated, her voice growing cold.
V's gaze fell to the floor with a subtle sigh. Her father appeared in the entryway. She didn't see Matteo's concerned gaze fall on her.
"Matteo, what are you doing here?" Francesco asked. He had a warm voice, but there was hesitance in it.
"Mom, Dad, Matteo is my mate," V explained, voice nervous and a little higher than usual. She was grateful Matteo had stayed quiet and let her do the talking. Not that she'd really given him a chance to talk. V was no Rome, but she could still talk over people with ease when she wanted to.
Silence fell in the room. Daringly, V spared a glance at her mother's face. She seemed displeased. Francesco, however, was stony in his silence.
She looked over to Matteo, hoping he'd be able to charm his way through this one. Of course he would, but V was still worried about the journey to get there. Having your son's best friend and business partner become your daughter's mate? Not exactly something you predicted, even if you always did see the friend as family.
"It's good to see both of you again," Matteo greeted, that charming smile on his face. The charming smile that won everybody over, but especially V's parents, apparently. They relaxed quickly.
"You, too. Come in, now. There's no use waiting in the hall. Frankie is waiting in the dining room. Go join him, Lettie," her dad directed. V opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it immediately. Arguing with her alpha male father was always a bad idea, even over something so simple. V didn't want to see Frankie yet, sure, but she also didn't want to leave her father alone with Matteo after the recent revelation.
"I'll join you," Emiliana said after an expectant look from her husband. V sighed and followed her mother, who actually led her to the kitchen.
"Now that you've found your mate," she began, looking through cupboards, "I want to make sure you know how to cook for him. You'll want to cook every meal you can for him. He'll have great responsibility, and since you won't be much more than a figurehead in the pack, you'll have plenty of time to prepare good meals for him."
Sickness clogged V's stomach. She had always known her mother was sexist and vaguely misogynistic, but now she was saying V wasn't going to have a purpose other than taking care of Matteo.
"You'll also want to please him in bed. I don't think you learned how to with Mark or the others, otherwise they would have stuck around." Emiliana didn't face her daughter, who wanted to scream at her mother about the abuse she'd faced while simultaneously wanting to die of embarrassment. Sex wasn't a concern for V, and it was far too early to talk about anything like that.
"That's not really your business," V said stiffly. Her mother turned to face her.
"I want to make sure this pack stays in good condition after your father is gone. That means keeping the next leaders happy. That will be your job for Matteo in every way, Lettie."
Yeah, now V just wanted to teach her mother about this thing called independence and healthy relationships. No way was that V's job. Her job was to keep herself happy, something she could only sort of do. Making a perfect life for Matteo was out of the question.
"Okay." V didn't add more. No need to trigger more horrible, disgusting, and embarrassing conversation.
"Since you probably don't know how to please a man properly, I'll explain it to you more after dinner." Emiliana turned back towards the stove, and handed a pan to V, who took it without a word. At least she finally had a reason to escape this hellish, one-sided conversation.
V set the pan on the table before falling into her typical seat in the center of the far side of the table. She didn't meet Frankie's eye.
"Don't let Dex meet Mom, please," V muttered, head buried in her hands. Sure, she didn't want to talk to or deal with Frankie, but she also wanted to save Dex from the horror that was her mother's misogyny. And maybe save Dex's life by keeping her from getting her in trouble with Emiliana. V had a feeling that her friend wouldn't shut up and bear it like V had.
"You aren't allowed to say her name," Frankie growled. She winced, the anger in his tone shocking her. Why was he so angry at V anyways? He was the one at fault, right?
Matteo and V's parents entered then. She sat up as her mate took the seat beside her. He looked about as happy as she felt. His stoic face revealed nothing, but V had a feeling he wasn't exactly having the best time. Then again, neither was she.
Her father began dishing up, signaling that everybody else could follow. No conversation flowed across the table for the first half of the meal.
"How long have you two known you're mates?" V's dad asked, an underlying note of displeasure in his voice. She gritted her teeth, and thankfully Matteo spoke this time.
"A few weeks now."
Francesco set down his silverware, folding his hands together and leaning on the table with his elbows. His sharp gaze fell on his daughter.
"Lettie, why haven't you told us until now? This is important news."
V stiffened. She hadn't told her parents yet because she knew how her mom would react, and she'd been scared to see her dad's reaction. She hadn't wanted to deal with this until she had no other options. Matteo was amazing in every way, and that made her want to protect him for as long as possible.
"I've been busy with work and my friends," she answered after a moment's pause. Her dad scoffed.
"Work? I don't see why you can't be more like your friend Romy. You won't be working in the future, so you shouldn't be now. You don't need to get those ideas in your head."
She grimaced. Her dad had never liked that she wanted to work. It was a large part of why she never had assignments outside of meetings. He didn't think it was the right fit for her, or any woman. Those without high connections in the pack were able to go on different assignments, but that was because they were seen as replaceable. Dad had told her and Mimi as much one day.
Mimi, however, had been blessed by Fate to be the firstborn and therefore the future Alpha. She was a miraculous exception, but she would have had extra advisors with more power than her father's underlings. Mimi would have been trapped, probably. No wonder she chose her mate, Gio, over everything she'd ever known.
"I like to stay busy and be involved," V mumbled, staring at her half-empty plate. Francesco harrumphed, but as usual, Frankie and Emiliana stayed silent. V was just hoping Matteo could, too. He knew her father could be sexist, but he usually hid the worst of it from others. Now that Matteo would officially be part of the family, though, he was allowed in to see her father's true feelings.
"I don't see why you need meetings and training to stay busy."
Oh, maybe because she wasn't allowed to pursue an education after high school. Or maybe because she actually enjoyed fighting and training and the logistical meetings.
"At least knowing the language and terminology will help her as Matteo's mate once he and Frankie take over," Emiliana said, offering what was probably supposed to be an encouraging smile to her daughter. V's grimace didn't change, but she looked over at Matteo. His demeanor may have been calm and stoic, but V could tell by his tense shoulders that he was holding back how he really felt. His distaste was a relief. She hadn't been worried about him agreeing with her father, but it was still reassuring to see his anger and frustration, even subtly.
"I'm not sure she should continue with training," Francesco mused, a smile on his face. Why on earth was he smiling? Was he wanting to see her trapped and miserable? What was wrong with her dad?
"Agreed, she should focus more on homemaking," Emiliana added.
"Isn't it important for V to know how to protect herself and be prepared in the worse case scenario?" Matteo spoke, anger sliding slyly through his speech. But, as usual, his voice was still charming and his words perfectly thought out.
"I suppose that's true. But, Lettie, I don't want you spending as much time working."
V nodded solemnly. Her chest was going to explode, she was certain. That or her nauseous stomach. Maybe eating her mother's steak had been a bad idea. Or maybe it was the fact that her parents weren't just traditional but outright sexist. Or maybe it was the fact that her father wanted to strip her of one of the few joys in her life. V did not want to spend her time like Rome.
"Have you moved into Matteo's apartment yet?" Emiliana asked, a surprisingly sweet smile accompanying her words. V shot a pleading glance to Frankie. Her parents didn't need to know they were fighting. They didn't need to know she wasn't at home and hadn't been for over a week. That would involve telling them about Dex, and Frankie and Dex were not ready to make things work yet. Plus, Dex would have to deal with V and Frankie's parents for the rest of their lives. V wanted to spare her as much time as possible before then.
"Not yet," V said, a moment of pause before she spoke. Her mother's face fell into one of disapproval, but she stayed silent.
More silence fell upon the table, silence V was increasingly grateful for. It stayed quiet until dinner was nearly done.
"You should know, Matteo, that Lettie has had... difficulty... in keeping a man at her side and keeping him happy," V's mother added, a sugary sweet smile at her lips.
Did Emiliana seriously believe that it was V's fault her relationships hadn't worked out? The sickness in her stomach and chest grew worse, and she was almost certain the contents of her stomach would soon end up on the table.
V stared ahead, but she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Matteo had noticeably stiffened.
"I'm aware of her past," he said, anger threatening to break from under his even tone. Oh crap. Was ever calm Matteo about to lose his temper? Oh crap. This wasn't good. This was actually bad. Very bad. Her parents loved Matteo, and V didn't want to see them lose that love because he stood up for her. That would make his life worse, not just hers.
V reached over and grabbed his hand atop the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. Matteo's grip tightened, but not enough to hurt. It was more of a protective squeeze. Usually, V hated how protective people were of her. She could handle herself, after all. That being said, Matteo was protecting her from her parents, who were too biased to see their own horror.
"But those boys were not good enough for her, and should all be punished for how they treated her. It's not V's fault that they treated her so poorly," Matteo said through gritted teeth.
V looked at him first, worry in her eyes. His gaze, however, was locked with her father's disapproving look. And V's mom? Amused. Freaking amused! Like she thought all this was funny!
Frankie, of course, was silent. He probably believed the same things her parents did. He certainly acted like it. But he took a sip of his wine.
"Matteo's right," he said gruffly. V shot her eyes to look at him, but he was staring at the wall behind her dad's head. Did Frankie really not agree with her parents? When had that happened?
"I suppose that could be the case," Francesco mused.
Matteo opened his mouth to speak, and judging by the way he sat so stiffly and held her hand so tightly, V knew it wasn't going to end well. She cut him off.
"Uh, Matteo and I have to go. We got a dog today, and Sylvester needs to be taken out for a walk." V stood, and thankfully, Matteo stood with her.
"Thanks for dinner, Mom," she whispered; she didn't trust herself to speak at a normal volume, worried it'd crack.
Stepping out from the dining room, V pulled Matteo with her, straight out the front door and to the elevator. She didn't speak until they were inside and heading downstairs. Werewolf hearing? You could never be too careful about eavesdropping.
"I'm really sorry you had to deal with that. I had hoped they would have been better." V didn't add that this was probably their best.
Matteo sighed and gave her a sad smile. His grip on her hand loosened to a more normal tightness.
"Thank you for taking me, and for keeping me calm." The elevator stopped at his floor, their floor, and they walked towards his front door. Once inside, with the door safely shut behind them, V wrapped Matteo tightly in a hug. She didn't relax until his arms were snug around her waist and she'd buried her face in the crook of his neck. He smelled really, really nice. His cologne was perfect, and that combined with the natural mate smell? V could barely keep herself from kissing him then and there.
"Always, Matteo," she whispered.
For a few seconds, the two stood wrapped tightly in the other's arms. Then Sylvester the Saint Bernard walked over and started head-butting their legs. V raised her head with a soft laugh, and reluctantly disentangled herself from Matteo. She fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around a happy dog instead. He was almost as cute, and he didn't smell quite as nice, but he was also a dream come true. V had her mate and the dog she'd always wanted. Sure, her parents sucked and were trying to control her life even though she was 21, but some things were finally going right, too.
Matteo sat down beside V, and she pulled back from her hug with the dog that was licking her smiling face.
"Have your parents always been that sexist?" he asked slowly, scratching the fur behind Sylvester's ear. V sighed.
"Yeah. They usually aren't as frank about it, but it's just how it's always been."
He wrapped an arm around her waist again, and V leaned into Matteo's comforting touch. Leaning against him and cuddling earlier in the day had definitely been the right move if it meant Matteo knew he was welcome to hold her at any point. V was definitely snuggly.
"They're wrong about everything, you know," he whispered in her ear. She nodded slowly, dropping her hands from petting Sylvester, who trotted off to finish smelling his way around the apartment.
"I know," V said, but she must have sounded unconvinced. Then again, she was kind of unconvinced. It still felt like if she had just been better or more submissive or more something or less something then Mark wouldn't have gotten violent here and there. Or that he wouldn't have been so possessive and controlling. Or that he wouldn't have threatened her with more than a slap or a grab on those few occasions. Even Greg, her therapist, didn't know about the threats Mark had made. No one knew that Mark had been about to carry them out before they always got interrupted. No one really knew V still blamed herself for everything going wrong.
"You deserve to be happy, V. You deserve your freedom from everyone, including me."
A weak smile decorated her face. Matteo was so good. Too good.
"It wasn't your fault, either," he added, voice growing more fervent. V's smile grew in return.
"Seriously, V. I mean it. It's not your fault that Mark or the others hurt you. It never was and never will be your fault." Matteo pulled V closer, so close she was almost in his lap. She looked over to face him, and he brushed the hair back from her face.
"Thank you," she whispered. He smiled at her, and she saw the sparkle in his eyes again. V hadn't noticed it missing until she saw it appear again.
"Sleep in your bed tonight."
"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch, V. We've been over this—"
"Next to me, you dork." V laughed gently, leaning her head against his shoulder. He was silent for a moment, but she could hear his grin when he spoke again.
"Okay, I will, then."