to be one with the wind, to be as peaceful as the droplets of rain pouring down a window, to be as happy as I once was, and I was happy with you. knowing that your heart ached at the empty casket, knowing the tears falling down your porcelain skin as everyone approached you with condolences.
knowing that you will be in an endless loop, waiting for the day you are deceased to meet me once again. knowing that your anger has most likely been all over the place, but the truth is, Draco—
I was never cursed to die, but cursed to live, cursed to live under the control of malicious people, tortured, and humiliated. to live out the same day you thought I was dead all over again.
to remember your face, to remember your touch, to remember you, Draco. But that's all I am left with, is memories that ceased to exist, the worst and best memories I've ever had of you, to be drunk in love.
I was once a girl addicted to alcohol, heavy drugs and the feeling of wanting to die each day, but now that story changed for me, Draco. I am no longer that girl who craves drugs.
I crave you Draco, you've become my greatest addiction, but losing you has made me wish for death daily, wishing to be rescued from a life I no longer want to continue.
but you give me hope, but I'm stuck in a reality that I no longer exist to you, and that pains me to think that we will never reconnect. I will never escape this hell, and I hope that one day, we are reunited.
love, always. y/n.
the tears streamed down your face, as you folded the parchment paper and placed it on the desk next to the other letters that will never be delivered to him. thousands of letters sat on that desk, unread by the person you wanted to communicate with the most.
you are no longer the girl you once were, set free from drugs not by choice, released from your lover on a death note, and cursed to live forever by a man you can spit in the face daily, and it would never change his mind.
you've tried everything, nice, mean, persuasive, your body was running on emptiness, you weren't even sure how tears still streamed, you've cried your heart out day and night, consuming to the life you live now
religion couldn't even save you, no one could save you. no one knows where you are, what you look like anymore, everyone thinks you are buried in a casket six feet deep into a ground, but that's not the case.
no one knows the true case, except for y/n.
and this is exactly why you always said never to fall in love, you'll always hurt yourself in the end. but this time, you didn't hurt yourself. you consumed yourself to love, and look where you are now.
trapped into a room with no magic, no people, just you and your mind. desperately trying to wake up from a nightmare that you've been living.
but it's no use, this is your reality now. you were meant to be unlucky, and unhappy, "glad you are awake, are you still writing those snobby little letters that no one will ever read?" he cackled, you absolutely hated that voice. and everything about him. "yes because I'm trapped here for the rest of my life and have no choice but to keep myself sane." you spat.
"oh please, you did this for yourself, miss y/n." beau rolled his eyes, "here, you need to eat." he placed a plate onto the desk you were seated at, green beans and some type of spoiled protein. "No thank you."
"you know, " beau started, "he's doing better without you." his ending stung you in the chest, knowing exactly who he's speaking about. "I'm not listening beau." You said, looking at the ceiling unable to face him in front of you. "He's in a relationship."
"I don't care." the words fell from your lips like venom, somehow those words cut through you, thinking of him, loving someone else. but it would be selfish of you to think he would never love another knowing that you are dead. "Oh but you do, he's always here, he's one of the best death eaters we have." Beau chimed.
"Get out!" You scrambled to your feet, hitting your hands across his chest, anger filled tears rolling down your face like a river stream. "Actually, if you scream loud enough tonight." He laughed, "he might hear you. but don't expect the best. He's never loved anyone the way he loves Delilah." Beau sighed happily knowing that he got to you, and walked out of the room, or dungeon however you prefer.
locking the gated door behind him, you fell to your knees, holding your face into your hands as you cried out. "Why me?" you repeatedly shouted, denial. rage, regret, hatred.
the inevitable has finally begun. no hope, no rescue, you are a soul that's lost in the in between, and there is no escape, your lover has found a new lover, completely unaware of you being alive, and you are stuck here forever.
incurable, "unbelievable." You shouted, at no one, no one was there, no one can hear you. sound proof, beau lied to you, no one can hear you from this dungeon, you tried, you almost lost your voice plenty of times.
You mourned your own death, you've stood up countless nights figuring out an escape plan, none of which were successful, but that didn't stop you. you were determined to leave, but now you didn't have a purpose to leave.
Draco loves another, and you're still waiting on the day the reunion begins, selfish of you to say, y/n. you can't force someone to love the dead version of yourself can you?
How could he not betray you? he mourned your death for a long time, he believed you were dead. Draco never felt sadness the way he did when he saw your body fall to the ground, it was impossible for him to think there's a chance you could be alive.
Until then,
you were all alone again, even your dreams and hopes were shattered to the ground, y/n.
your life is destroyed.
