26 Things

Chapter 1 - Too Conventional

It was a hot and humid day at the end of July when I was getting ready for our sixth date. While buttoning up my dress shirt I smiled to myself thinking about her. I had troubles fathoming that such an amazing woman as her would still be interested in a man like me. She was considerate, witty and fierce and little by little she started to inhabit every corner of my heart. She was the first thing on my mind when I woke up and the last thought before I went to sleep. More often than not she even played the starring role in my dreams as well.

When I left my house I had estimated that I would be exactly twelve minutes too early at our agreed location. She had a habit of showing up eight to ten minutes early herself and I didn't want to keep her waiting. When I approached the new coffee-shop she kept talking about the last time I saw her, she was however already waiting for me in a beautiful dusty pink summer dress. I noticed her lips parting and forming a "Hi, Spencer" before I was close enough to be able to actually hear her. It had only been four days since I last held her, but every fibre of my being was already longing for her. So when I was finally close enough, I wrapped her body into a tight hug and placed a kiss on her hair.

After we placed our orders and had sat down on the corner table, I noticed that something was off. She was staring out of the window with an absent mind, hardly acknowledging my presence and I started to worry. The patch of skin between her eyebrows was creased, deep in thought while her eyes flickered every time a car would pass by. I promised her not to profile her when I first told her about my job, but sometimes it was hard to turn off that ability.

The first thing my mind went to, was that after just little over a month of dating, she had finally come to the conclusion that I wasn't worth her time and was now contemplating how to let me down gently. She was an empathetic person after all, always aware of the emotions of the people she cared about. I am sure she didn't want to hurt me, but if she really planned on breaking up with me, leaving me a devastated man was inevitable. Aside from deciding that we should be exclusive after our third date, we hadn't really gotten around talking about our feelings for each other yet. A fact I was actually okay with, since I was convinced that if we got to that point, I would probably scare her off by just blurting out how much of a lovesick fool I had become because of her.

I had already given a piece of my heart to her before she ever even agreed on going out with me. I was enamored by her ability to illuminate even the darkest corner of my soul with her kindness. She had recently gotten her doctorate and was part-time teaching at the same university I spent my sabbaticals from the FBI at. So when the spring semester came to an end, I took all the courage I had to go to her office and ask her out. When she agreed to have dinner with me, I first thought she was just pitying me. I was continuing to be unsure about her intentions until our fourth date came around, when she suggested a Back To The Future marathon at her place. Only after she started kissing me passionately while Marty McFly was trying to find his way back to the year 1985, I felt somewhat certain that she actually liked me, maybe even reciprocated all of the feelings I held for her.

Until now of course. I dreaded the moment she would finally snap out of her thoughts. The possibility of her depriving me from everything good she had to offer let my blood pressure rise. I couldn't find the courage to ask her what was going on, so when the barista came over to bring us our orders, I felt relieve wash over me that it didn't have to be me to bring her attention back. She looked a little startled in that moment, but then she smiled and politely thanked the barista for the coffee. When her eyes met mine again for the first time since we took our seats, she must have noticed the concern in my facial expressions because her smile faded and she took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," she stated, "I'm being really weird today, I know. I actually thought about cancelling our date earlier today."

My heart nearly stopped after my brain had caught up with what she had just said. I wished that I could ignore the obvious a little while longer, even if it would mean staying in this limbo forever. It was still better than the hell I was facing if she ended our relationship then and there.