The Journal of Beatrice Grace Parker

The Note

Today I have a session with Dr. Russell. I didn’t imagine I would see Theo today, because I’d be at his Dad’s clinic instead of at the park. I’m feeling guilty about not telling him that I wouldn’t be there at the park today to meet him. I know I shouldn’t feel bad since he left me yesterday without answering my question, and he deserves to wait in the park like I’ve been waiting for his answer. It’s not like he comes to the park only to meet me, is it? (here I have a slight headache, not because B and G were fighting against each other, but because each seemed to be fighting herself. Maybe he did come just to see me…) Anyway, I’ll have to explain it all to him tomorrow, when I see him in the park (If I see him… a part of me says, and I don’t know which part it is, but I dread that part being right. I cannot lose my only friend just because of my carelessness.)

So I’ve finally convinced Mom to let me go to the park earlier. She’ll catch me there and then we could go on to Dr. Russell’s together. Thankfully she’s accepted the idea, and told me that she’ll be shopping for groceries while I’m in the park. She seems to be a little more relaxed, now that I’ve really got the hang of saying ‘me’ and ‘I’ instead of the ‘we’ and ‘us’, which had really freaked her out. I think she has convinced herself that it was all a bad phase and she’s back to having a single daughter without any SPD. Or maybe she’s finally made peace with having a freak for a daughter. I don’t know. It just seems to be a good state in which to be, and I don’t want to disturb things by broaching the subject out of turn. It is still a delicate situation.

I’ve been waiting in the park, hoping that Theo turns up early. Till then, I’m writing in my journal. I’ve even kept a note ready, in case Mom turns up before Theo. All I have to do is to rip out the paper from my journal and jam it in the crack in the wooden bars of the bench. And pray that Theo gets it. It just says:

“T,

At your dad’s today. See you tomorrow?

B&G”

So it’s safe enough even if someone else reads it (As long as that someone else is not Mom). Because I’m sure she’d jump to the wrong conclusion immediately.)