The Ex And The Soulmate

I had a scar on my hand.

My talk with Tony left me feeling a lot of emotions. I found my soulmate, and it's someone who caused Tony a lot of pain, even if it wasn't his fault. If recent events have shown me anything, it's that I still have unresolved feelings for Tony to deal with on top of all the extra crazy going on now.

I can't pretend I don't feel what I do when he's around. But it can't compare to my soulmate, I mean. He's my soulmate. Fated to be mine, who can argue that? Who would?

So why am I feeling so conflicted? Why does it hurt so much that Tony left the room?

I heard a noise and looked at the doorway to see Bucky. I smiled. "Hey."

"Hi." He replied back, still staying in the doorway. I searched his face to figure out what he was feeling but it was impossible. He was showing no emotions.

"I, uh. Sorry I reacted so badly. I think I'm a tad bit overwhelmed by... I mean everything really." I sighed. "Before all of this, my parents-" my voice began to crack. "My parents died. In an accident. And then I was kidnapped and well, you know the rest. So I'm just trying to take one day at a time but-"

"You're apologizing to me?" Bucky blurted out, interrupting.

I paused. "Yeah, I mean, I know you've been through a lot and I'm sure this isn't easy for you either. That was pretty intense and I sort of made it about me unintentionally."

There was a moment when Bucky was contemplating what I said. "I'm sorry about your parents."

"Oh." I wasn't expecting that. "Th-thank you."

He stepped forward into the room. "Steve told me that I should open up to you. It's important, for the soulmate bond. Said it makes you a safe person."

"That's typically true, yeah. But don't feel pressured-"

"I don't." Bucky quickly replied. "I don't feel pressured. I want... I want to talk to you. All the time. And... I miss you, when you're not around. I haven't felt these things, or anything, in a long time. I'm... struggling."

I nodded. "I understand. I'm here, and I'll take whatever you're willing to give, I'll listen to whatever you want to tell me. Don't push if it's too much, but I want to know. I want to know you."

He continued walking to towards me. "I want you to tell me about Tony."

I was so unprepared by his response I tensed up. "W-what?"

"I can tell there's... history. I want to know about it. Was it serious?"

"It was for me, I can't speak for Tony. It ended abruptly after..." I stopped before I finished the sentence. Knowing that Tony's parents accident wasn't really an accident was something I was still trying to wrap my head around. And this was something so painful for the both of them too, even if it was for different reasons.

Bucky nodded. "I didn't think I had a soulmate." Before I could answer he continued, "For most of my life, I watched as people found theirs. My baby sister found hers young... I remember that day. She came home with a scar on her forehead and ma panicked until she realized what it was. And then the war... It brought Steve to his. And I hadn't found mine. And then the train..." he sighed. "I gave up. I didn't think I'd find it-find you. I don't know that I'm deserving."

"Bucky..."

"I know what you're going to say. I already talked to Steve. You're gonna tell me that it wasn't my fault and I still deserve to be happy. But it doesn't change that he's still in there. I will always be broken." He tapped his head. "I'm always going to partially be The Soldier."

Speechless, I stared at Bucky. At my soulmate. At the person who was chosen for me. I wondered how life could do this to someone. This broken man, feels undeserving of what the universe was picked just for him, of me.

"Well, you found me. And if you can deal with my broken pieces, I can deal with yours." I said, half a whisper.

Bucky looked at my eyes for the first time since walking in the room.

And smiled.