Chasing Demons

CHAPTER 5

This or nothing

My lack of spare clothes was beginning to be a problem, no, not just because it was gross. It was gross and also annoying to constantly have to wash the only set of clothing I owned, but it made infiltration missions harder. People, in general, were less welcoming of you if you looked like you and even worse smelled like a hobo. "Do you think it would be possible I could borrow some clothes for the infiltration mission?" I pleaded with Ilynia. Sadly she and the other elves were pretty dense about understanding the issue. "Why is your current outfit not enough?" she asked giving me an inspection. "Because I look like a hobo and that is going to make things harder" I explained just to be met with a blank look, "and that is an issue why?" And there I wasted an hour explaining what a hobo was and the social implications of that just to in the end have her say; "you humans sure have silly ideas about what gives a person worth, but I will see what I can do." I am not saying I necessarily disagreed, but also I just knew she did not get it. I kept my mouth shut though not wanting to waste another hour arguing. Sadly that strategy did not work out and I spent the rest of the day explaining my case to several elves who all thought I was stupid. The outfit I received was not worth all that effort, but that was on me I was the dumb one for bringing up the issue.

It was a bit of relief the day I left the elves to go to the nearby human town. The town was built close to the military base and would be a good starting point for my mission. I made my way to the library first mostly to kill some time, since it was way too early to go to a bar or a club right now. The library was mostly empty, which was to be expected it was 10:00 AM. It was relaxing being in a familiar structure and comprehending the talking around me. The elves never bothered talking with me except Ilynia, and it did not help she seemed rather uninterested in teaching me her language often leaving me feeling secluded.

*

I had been sticking around in the town for a few days. During that time I uncovered a few things first of all the security at the base had been heightened lately, which might be a clue. Normally that happened close to a transfer and secondly and less surprisingly it was bloody impossible to get into the base. No visitors were allowed not even family, so there was no way I could just fake my way in there. And we are talking about a military base here, so forget anything about me sneaking in there; I not being able to sneak in there was something the elves did not get. They had no idea what a security camera was and my bringing up ID cards just got me blank stares. "But we need someone to confirm when the transfer is going to happen more specifically, than just maybe soon or in a few days or weeks," Ilynia insisted I sighed before trying to explain my case once again; "sure but I cannot exactly get in there, and there is a limit to how much information I can gather from outside." I could see how she was getting ready to argue again and was not ready for what she said instead; "I know I just need something, the others are already worried about this mission being too dangerous, but I cannot let it go this is the closest I have been to my brother in cycles." She went quiet after that, and I did not know what to say. The silence hung heavy the rest of the day.

*

Guilt was eating at me as I visit the town again. I was not going to get any useful information by this, I knew that, but I honestly just needed to get away for a bit. That conversation had been a real mood killer, and the other elves were as distant as ever. "You know trying to find answers at the bottom of a bottle is not going to help you," I looked up tired at the bartender; Jim was his name I think. "I am not looking for answers, I just want to not think for a bit," I replied. "Careful you do not spend all your time like that," he answered half-joking before adding; "I have seen you a lot here lately, and I know it is not my place to pry, but your behavior has had me worried." It was not wrong I had been at The Blue Lady a lot first to gather information, but lately too? Well, I guess just drink. I closed my eyes as glassy eyes stared back at me from a severed head. What was I even doing with my life? Was finding James worth all of this? And what if he was dead? Then what would I do? The empty bottle held no answers. I made my way slowly back to the elves' camp. Thoughts ran wild in my head, as for once alcohol did nothing to soothe them, and I saw those dammed eyes everywhere just fucking staring at me. "For a dead guy, you sure know how to stalk me," I muttered not even able to chuckle at my joke. Was this what it felt like to go insane? What a fucking timing for that.