- 𝐃𝐢𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 // 𝐃𝐧𝐟 -

six

𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
- 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚖𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎
-𝙼𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚎
-𝙿𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝙰𝚝𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜

- 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 -

Today is the day I plan to tell Dream I love him; past through all of my guilt and unhappiness, my appreciation and affection only grew stronger as day passed. I could not express in any formed speech of how much he made me feel better. Even on stormy nights his silly chuckles are enough to switch the mood.

One of the closest relationships I've ever had is this one.

Nonetheless I still can't show how I'm feeling in person. Everyone that has ever known me would have thought of me as durable and strong, but in reality I come close to nothing like that. All I've done is laugh away large piles of mental baggage, fatigued by carrying everything on my shoulders every single day I roam on this earth.

Even if I still feel hollow and empty he'll always be my pain killers, my real medicine; The only one that'd have an effect on me. No matter how many tablets or pills I swallowed it never worked. I don't think I'll ever be fixed.

Sometimes I don't think I'll even need therapy or any treatment at all when I'm feeling the most alive I've ever been in years.

Within my hands is a small love letter. If I couldn't say anything, it would be better delivering it through ink.

I approach him upstairs in a cautious manner, trying not to be too loud or too quiet.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, smiling.

"Hey- uh- I was wondering if you wanted to go for like- a long w-walk?" I fumble with my words, recklessly spilling out into a sentence surprisingly making sense.

Clay continues to hold Patches before settling her down on the soft carpet to explore around the room. He redirects his line of sight to mine.

"Well, sure. I know how much you love going on those long walks and I don't mind joining along." He says while getting up to go and put his shoes on. Considering that I was already ready, we begin to walk around the neighbourhood. The sky's color over the past few weeks had been overly concerning looking up, the intoxicating puffs of dark smoke terrorized the big blue above, ultimately tinting it a weird desaturated-reddish color.

I didn't expect to start shivering in the warm winds of the town air; I cross my arms together hoping for some kind of heat to generate, shaking in the process. Dream stops and checks up on me, abruptly touching my arm.

"Are you okay? You seem really cold-.." He proceeds to hold my hand with care and concern, making me heavily blush. Here came the warmth I was waiting for.

His hands of a warm fireplace melted down my cold fingertips, intricately intertwining.

(Recommended song for this scene:

"Touch" by Sleeping At Last (slowed down)

We strolled under the shelter of the old trees, feet pressed upon the fallen leaves slowly disintegrating into nothing. I wept to myself silently in my head; To him, this would just be another normal walk. I'm beginning to question all of my feelings and desires. Did he even like me in the first place? Did he ever question me as being a possible partner at all?

I never failed to be eternally pessimistic. It's something I can't seem to get rid of, even if I'm at my happiest. Just having my own joy built on unstable structures always kept me on edge. I've lost myself completely, I've lost all my colors, I've lost everything by this point.

Our seemingly romantic movements were riddled with sadness, seeping through the fraying threads of hope I had left within. Everything felt fake; My vision started to decline, flooding away with tears. Soon enough I'd forget how to breathe. The air I inhaled grew thinner and thinner, amplifying everything else's intensity.

I began to choke uncontrollably, tears running down and chills going down my spine. My throat burned in exhaustion, begging for rest. I gasped for air, continuing to convulse violently. I couldn't breathe, I wanted to breathe, I needed to breathe. Of course I really had to fuck up today, today of all days. I can't leave; I can't, just yet at least.

I felt lightheaded, the world around me starting to rotate.

"GEORGE? GEORGE!" Clay stopped and grabbed both of my arms in an attempt to get me to stop shaking. I locked eyes with him with my remaining sight, eyelids about to succumb to the gravity, while his ones lifted up and widened to look at me.

I managed to pull through the struggle at the last moment, before the consuming dark void could reach me.

"Oh... My god..." He wraps his arms around me, caressing my back as I readjust to my normal breathing pattern. We huddle together for a while, Dream waiting for me to calm down. After a few minutes I pull away, only to see him still standing with his phone in hand.

He stays frozen in his position, looking like he had just witnessed something extremely morbid, covering his mouth; The confusion continues to sprout, and I ask about what's wrong. His anxious stare automatically lets me know that it's something bad, really bad.

"We need to get to the hospital now." He grabs my hand firmly, practically dragging me across the long concrete path.

"Dream- Why... are- y-you.. running.. s-so fast?!" I yell, panting and clinging on rapidly to his fast sprinting.

"WE'RE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME TO DRIVE!" He hurriedly yells back, running until his legs couldn't take anymore. We ran past many people, giving sour expressions with every loud stomp on the ground. He never looks back the other way, determined to get to where he wanted to be. We reach the giant blocky building, entering swiftly.

I abruptly stop in my tracks, making Clay stop unexpectedly along with me.

"WE NEED TO GET TO SAP!" He growls in tears.

I gulp in fear.

"I-I can't come.." I mutter, quietly hinting my ptsd from hospitals. He understands and lets go of my hand. I slip in the piece of paper into his pocket before he runs off, leaving me alone to wait outside. I duck down onto my knees, getting second thoughts. I didn't want to ruin our close bond, it was something I cherished dearly to my heart; My worst fear was him to turn on me. I stared into the smoky sky, praying that what would happen next would be bearable.

*
(𝙰𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎: 𝙱𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 - 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢'𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 >:] 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚎𝚝, 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚜 / 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛 :] )