I saw light in your eyes

08.11.2021

It was cold outside. Me and my friends were freezing at the break. I was pretty quiet. I was watching a guy. He had a baby blue hoodie and his hair was short, brown and straight. His face was so pretty, so warm, so cute. I can't even describe it good enough.

"Who are you looking at?" Leni said and looked the way I was. "Ooh Zuckerwatte?"

"Yeah" I said looking at him and taking a bite of my bread.

"You know I think Julia has his snapchat" she said smiling at me. No fucking way. I have a chance to snap him, and I won't fuck it up. I made big eyes at her. I started to panic with what I should do with my bread. I gave it to her and she took it. I went to Julia going past Didac. It was stressful,  as always.

"Hey do you have Zuckerwattes snap?" I ask her openly.

"Yeah I do"

"Can you tag him for me?"

"Yeah of course" she said and took her phone out of her pocket. She tagged him in a snap and send it to me. I turned back to my group with a big smile.

After school I saw him go infront of me to his bus. He lives in another city so we don't drive with the same bus. I snap him as I find a place to sit down. It was a picture of outside the window with a "Hey"
I get an answer after a minute. A picture of his shoes with a "Hey" too. I got a little smile. We chat a little smalltalk till I start asking more personal questions. Like: why he smokes, where he lives or how he rolls his own cigarettes. Well... I'm not a smoker so I have no idea. We were snapping for some long hours until we both had to do our homework. I was excited to see him as I was sitting in the bus. I walked the short way to school thinking about what to do today but then I saw him in a grey hoodie. I fell inlove for the hundredth time. He was rolling a new cigarette. My heart was beating so fast that I could say anything so I just continued walked.

"Hey!" he say behind me laughing. "You scared?" he asked as I was looking at him. I wasn't, so I smiled.

"No" I said and walked towards him. He licked the paper so it would stick together. I was too concentrated looking at his hands that I didn't realize that he was looking at me. He put the cigarette in between his fingers and put it in his mouth. In that moment I looked at him and realized he was looking sideways at me. He held the cigarette between his teeth and said: "Want one?" with the cutest smile ever. I don't know? I never smoked, but why not. I never risked like that.

"Yeah? I do" he smiled and lit his. I was watching his hands as they rolled the paper with tobacco in it. His skin was darker than mine. His nails were short. His fingers were skinny and long. I could watch them all the time. I was excited to smoke but also nervous. What if I blame myself? He sticked the cigarette to me and I took it. My hands were shaking from the cold. At least I thought it was cold. After that he also gave me his lighter. It was black. Boring. I put the cigarette in my mouth and lit it. I had to caught so hard that we both started to laugh. It was fun. I smoked for a while till he told me I wasn't smoking right. I was confused.

"You don't draw on lungs!" he laughed. He tried to teach me but I didn't learn it until the cigarette was gone. "Alright we'll try next time" he said and we laughed more. Sadly we had to go to school.

"Holy fuck we have 2 minutes!" he said and I laughed. The "Holy fuck" was the best thing I've ever heard. We went quickly to school and I was almost late. The whole 3 lessons I was thinking bout him and not listening to the teachers. At least they didn't care. I was excited for the break. I quickly put on my jacket but the teacher wanted to talk to me. Fucking bitch.

"I saw you were gone in your own world the whole lesson?"

"Yeah I'm sorry miss rogue it won't happen again" I said and she let me go out. Finally. I didn't see him until I got outside. He sat with his friends at the table outside. I was looking at him while I walked past them. At the moment I was almost gone he saw me and smiled without saying anything or even call behind me. It was kinda sad. I went to my friends. I sat down and didn't say a thing. Leni saw it.

"Ey is everything okay?" she said looking at me. I looked at the wall of the school.

"Yeah" I said and I think I smiled a bit.

"ok" she said and looked back to the group. How much I love having fake friends. So much that I can't find real ones. That's bullshit!
My lessons finished earlier than his so I sadly didn't saw him anymore. Later I was reading my book but I couldn't concentrate at all. Finally a wish came true and he snapped me. I wanted to open it but I couldn't. Not after 15 seconds. A minute went by and I finally opened the snap. It was a table with different kinds of alcohol and a text. "what ya doin?" I love it. I snapped the corner of my book and said "being bored:)" it's true. He answered within seconds. Omg.
"hm not good:)" he snapped his hand with a cigarette. I snapped my wall.
"yeah..." I know guys don't like my wall but I don't have anything else. He snapped his hand again. "you want to meet tomorrow again at the same place?" I screamed. I fucking screamed. Does he really like me this much?! I snapped him but I didn't even look what it was, I didn't care. "I would love that" then he snapped me one of his friends without any text. I didn't answer. I decided to go to sleep. I slept so well. I dreamed of him. But I had to wake up. Oh my God it's time! I jumped out of my bed and sprinted to the bathroom. I used everything I had on my face and teeth. I took my favorite outfit out of the closet and put it on me. I brushed my hair which wasn't fresh anymore but looked good. I put some makeup on but not too much. I was almost too late for the bus but I did it. I was so really excited.

Zuckerwatte
It was already 5 minutes that I was trying to remember when she came yesterday, but I just couldn't remember it. I decided that I can smoke two cigarettes before school. I build one and lit it up. It immediately calmes me down and I can relax. I saw her from at least one mile away. She isn't the prettiest girl at school but I could finally understand why that guy in her class is obsessed with her. She's nice, funny and not ugly. For some people she might even be pretty, but she's just not my type. I'm into brunettes wearing crop tops and skirt. She's just wearing Hoodies and jeans everyday. But it looks good on her. Sara just snapped me. Wonder what it could be this time. Oh a mirror picture from behind so that I could only see her skinny ass. Girl your ass isn't even pretty? Way too skinny in my opinion, I like fat asses or at least pretty round ones that you can easily grab with your hand. I smiled as I saw Jessica coming closer. She smiled back. What is that feeling? Butterflies?

"Heyy" she's so happy.

"Hey" I wasn't, but I tried my best. "Soo?" I asked showing her the tobacco packaging. She nooded with her sweet smile. Since when do I even realise that someone's smiling at me? "Do you maybe want to build one yourself?" I said and smiled with my most sexy smile. At least the bitches at the Partys told me it's sexy.

"Um okay I can try" she said and laughed, I couldn't stop myself so I laughed too. I gave her the papes and the filter and told her how she needs to hold them. She did it pretty well so I then gave her the tobacco. She was so stressed but sweet. I didn't realise that I was loking at her and not what she was doing until she asked me if it was good.

"Oh uhm yes it's really good" I smiled. I really smiled. It wasn't the nice smile that I do when I wanna be nice, it's the smile that I do when I'm happy.

"Fuck" I said, starting to smoke the second cigarette.

"What? Something wrong?"

"No" I looked to the sky. "I just really feel like smoking something different" I wanted to know if she would know what I mean. She looks way too innocent to get it.

"What?" she asked and finally drew on lungs.

"Oh my God you did it!" I said with my real smile again. This girl really shows me that I can smile and be happy.

"Oh shit" why does she look like she just smoked weed? I don't remember my first cigarette, did I look like that too?

"What?"

"I'm dizzy oh God" true, that's how tobacco feels like.

"Ohh yeah that's how tobacco feels like when your body isn't used to it" I said and felt like some kind of teacher.

"Ok it's fine...won't do that again" I knew she was kidding.

"Fuck we are too late" I said looking at my phone.