penning it down

MY MAHR STORY

The day I asked him what will he give me as mahr, I didn't have anything particular in my mind. I just wanted to know his perception of mahr, whether he understands that it is my right to choose the mahr and he can't give me anything random even though it costs a fortune. He indeed knew all this. Instead of listing out what will he give me, he asked what will I take as mahr. I promised to let him know when I have decided.

Fast forward to 2 weeks before our wedding date, he asked me the question again. The first thing that came to my mind was to bring me something that you think I would cherish for a lifetime, but then I gave it a thorough thought and felt like it's unfair on him to assume he knows me well just from our phone calls over a year. What if the thing he decides on is not something I want? What if I feel disappointed? So many what-ifs clouded my mind. And that's when I framed what my mahr should be.

The idea was to ask for something I could keep with me forever. Something I will not resell, something I can flaunt proudly, and something that will scream my identity.
That's how I chose books. Not just any random books, but a collection from which each book holds a special meaning to me. And here is my collection:

Dear Ijeawele by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichi:
This book was on top of my wishlist. A feminist manifesto!. I moved it to my mahr list to make a clear statement on who I am, what I stand for, what I will not tolerate, and what not to expect from me!

Quran and women by Amina Wadud: The idea was to include something spiritual to the list. I couldn't find a better one than this though I have a pdf copy and have already read a few chapters.

Two by two by Nicholas Sparks: This is one of my favorite books, but I didn't have a paperback. For the other three books, I wasn't sure how I would feel after reading the whole book, so I wanted to make sure I had something I loved on the list. Also, I wanted to clarify that this isn't a list I can't afford.

The island of missing trees by Elif Shafak: The only thing I know about this book is it's from my favorite author, but the rest is a mystery. I wanted something that would symbolize our future journey as a couple, with a familiar person but through a mysterious path!