Home With You

Chapter 1

Is today a good day to die?

Sitting on the roof of my house under a blanket at 2 am, the thought surprises me as it fills my head. As I watch cars whiz by on the highway in the distance, I wonder if any of them have had the same thought. It's ridiculous really, the way I'm thinking, but it seems as though I can't help myself. Those types of thoughts have surfaced before, but never this extreme. It's been an overwhelming night, and I decided to come out to the roof to get fresh air and hopefully clear my head. Obviously, it didn't work.

Having just moved back into my hometown after 5 years, things have been hectic. It's late August, and my family's goal of having us completely moved in before the school year starts seems to be not getting acheived.  It's hard to ship over all of our things internationally, so half of my things haven't been delivered yet. My room is bare, except for my bed, nightstand, desk, and an empty bookshelf. It makes me completely uncomfortable, hence me sitting on the top of my roof right now.

We moved from our small town in Michigan to London for my dad's work when I was in grade 7, and just now moved back again, which I was completely against. Although I hated London with everything in me, coming back to America meant bringing memories and feelings to the surface that I didn't want to bring back. My brothers, however, were more than stoked to come back. Kieran and Brennan all but packed up everything they owned the second my dad told us we were moving.

I should be as happy as them, but I can't find it in myself to be. Once we moved to London, I pretty much cut off all my ties with everyone I knew, but it came back to bite me in the ass because I'm back now, and I know people, or one person specifically, who is going to be very upset with me.

The only people I've continually kept up with are my two closest friends from Michigan. Miles and Riley have been my best friends since childhood and they're the only reason I'm happy to be back. We've frequently visited each other throughout my 5 years in London, but I'm excited to be able to see them every day. Having literally just got here, I haven't seen them yet but we've been texting and face timing all day. The plan is to get together tomorrow, but at this rate, I won't be awake.

Usually, when I can't sleep, I take a book off of one of my shelves and read until the words blur together on the pages and my eyes won't stay open. But all my books are either still in London, or somewhere in the middle of the ocean, on their way here. The books I've packed with me in my travel bag have already been read through on the way, and I don't reread a book unless it's been at least 2 months since I've first read it. So I've resorted to sitting on the roof in the middle of the night, looking at the stars, lost in my thoughts.

I wish I could turn off my mind. I've never known peace and quiet throughout my head and I long for it every day. My thoughts are horribly consuming. They're vile and overwhelming, some of them so stupid that they make me want to bang my head against a hard surface. My favorite thing to do when I feel like I'm drowning is sleep, but sleep isn't going to reach me for quite a while tonight. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I rest my cheek on my knees and wrap my arms around my legs. Hugging my legs tight, I look up at the stars and let my thoughts swallow me whole.

~~~~

I am rudely awoken when someone rips the covers off the bed and jumps on top of me. I groan in annoyance and try to push the person off of me, thinking it's one of my brothers, but when I open my eyes to find bright green ones staring back at me, I gasp and wrap my arms around their shoulders.

"Miles!" I exclaim and pull him towards me. He sends me a huge smile and buries his face into my neck. I hear running out in the hallway and then the bed dips with the weight of another person.