Ayn's Healing

Chapter 18 - Ayn

I am stomping towards the garden, holding the edge of my skirt so it doesn't get caught in the juniper bushes scattered along the path, trying to clear my head of what I had just heard.

This male shifter is ready to tell his mother that I am his mate, but this did not prevent him from fondling and running and probably sleeping - and by sleeping I mean fucking - with that Astrid person. I only realise how furious I am when the balls of my feet start to hurt from all the stomping.

I am relieved to see the shallow fence of the garden in front of me and I sit on the warm earth, trying to focus on what is here, present and alive, rather than on my hurt feelings and scattered thoughts.

Luna Teresa was right when she said she was not much of a gardening person. The whole perimeter is full of scattered rocks and weeds, and in some places the earth is really hard. I am tempted to till it with magic, but I am hoping that some manual labor will help me come back to balance.

I twist my skirt and stick the knot in the waist seam before I crouch on the ground. I ask forgiveness from the weeds that I'll have to remove from their home. And then I start pulling and scratching the earth with my bare fingers, and pulling some more, stopping only when I discover a lady beetle emerging from her pupa.

I lie on my back and watch the underside of the leaf as the little shell slowly expands and twitches in the rhythm of a very very tiny heart beat. It soon cracks at the top and the tiny black head with curious antennas emerges. Half of the body is out and then there is a break, as the beetle is gathering its powers for the final push. I have seen this time and time before but I always hold my breath at this point, afraid the little being will get stuck inside and never gain its colors and its spots.

"Now that is not very ladylike," the last voice on earth I want to hear reaches out to me from somewhere above.

As I meet his dark green eyes shining with laughter, I realise that I had sprawled my knees apart and my tied up skirt barely covers my private parts. I bend my legs to one side trying to save whatever face I have left and ask him silently, with my index finger, to come next to me. The final transformation of a lady beetle is something magnificent and even treacherous, sleazy werewolves must have the chance to witness it.

Kari accepts my invitation and lies down in the grass, his elbow touching mine, as I point to where he has to look. We watch in silence as the white bug emerges fully and briefly stretches its still wet wings. His breath flows slowly, quietly close to my cheek and his cedar tree smell fills my lungs.

For a moment, just for a fleeting moment, I forget how angry I am at him and allow myself to enjoy the closeness, and the warmth exuding from his beautiful, beautiful body.

"I came to say goodbye," he says suddenly as the first dark spots and a reddish hue appear on the beetle's wings.

"Why?" I manage to ask in a squeaky voice, my throat suddenly dried with sadness.

"I will go train for a while with Albert's pack."

"Albert...Astrid's father Albert"? My brief sorrow is replaced with smoldering rage, which I am trying very hard and manage very poorly to hide. My fingers are suddenly cold and pale, desperately clutching a fold in my skirt.

"Yes, the very one," Kari replies matter of factly, getting up and heading towards the gate. "Don't get in trouble and don't wander off," he adds, waving over his shoulder, without even looking at me.

My heart pounds violently, shaking away the freshly sprouted new leaves from my tree. Many words come to my mind, ranging from you-stupid-horrible-bastard-of-a-cannot-keep-it-in-your-pants-werewolf to please-don't-go-my-love-I-love-you-so-much.
None of them finds their way to my mouth, so I remain silent tearing mindlessly at the grass on my sides, without even asking it for forgiveness.

————————
A/N: 🐞Watch ladybugs emerging under my camera in the video linked in the banner.
Their offspring are now my garden pets 🐞 and I couldn't be more grateful.