Can't We Just Leave The Monster Alive? ⎨yeonbin⎬

『 16 』

〈Twigger warning: mention of suicide 〉

"Kai, hey Kai wake up... Did you fell asleep outside?" Within a second Kai was sitting upright and was fully awake. "Where are the others? Are they inside?" The boy asked who was sitting Infront of him. Kai was so shocked he didn't get out a word. "Hey, talk to me. Are you ok-" The boy was interrupted by Kai's hand, slapping his cheek. "Ouch, what the hell, why did you do that." Yeonjun said rubbing the part of his face, Kai just hit.

29 hours before

Yeonjun stared at his sleeping boyfriend. His heart felt really heavy as he realized, it was probably the last time he saw him. Guilt started to crawl up his spine. "I am so sorry, Soobin." He whispered before he placed a soft kiss on the other's lips. Yeonjun stood and placed the letter beside the sleeping boy, before he walked out of the room. His heart felt heavy but he knew there was no other way. It was only a matter of time before Soobin, Taehyun, Beomgyu, and Kai would realize what he was. A monster. He wasn't worth living. Maybe the people back home we're right. Maybe the only thing he was, was a drug-addicted freak.

Yeonjun got into his car, starting the motor. Tears were leaving his eyes as he realized what he was about to do. He drove for, who knows how long until he came across a cliff. Yeonjun got out of the car, walking towards the edge. This time, he was sure it was high enough to be dead on the spot. Paralyzed he stared at the abyss. One step more and he would be dead. Some people just weren't meant to be alive, and Yeonjun was sure he was one of them. He wanted to make this final step, but something in his heart just told him not to.

He let himself down to the floor. He thought about his friends, which he left behind. Was he going to leave them like that? He wanted to end all of this so bad, to just get rid of all this pain he felt. But something in his heart stopped him. He walked back to the car, letting himself drop on the seat. "Why am I such a coward?" He said, slowly getting upset. "WHY CAN'T THIS JUST END?" He yelled as he punched into the steering wheel a few times. Suddenly his gaze wandered towards a small object, which was laying in the center console of the car. It was the bracelet Soobin made. Yeonjun always took it with him.

He thought about the taller boy. He thought about his smile, about the way his eyes light up, every time Yeonjun looked at him. He thought about how the youngers touch always made his heart race.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT. WE THOUGHT YOU... YOU." Kai couldn't help it and just broke out in tears. Yeonjun immediately hugged the blond and rubbed his back. "We thought you were dead." Kai cried out grabbing onto Yeonjuns shirt, scared that if he would let go, Yeonjun would disappear. "I'm sorry..." Yeonjun whispered into the youngest ear.

After Kai calmed down a little, Yeonjun made his way to wake up Soobin. He was sure that the other would hate him, after the move he pulled. As he saw his boyfriend, sleeping on the mattress, his heart ached. His face was still tear-stained and when Yeonjun moved closer he also saw the white bandage on the others arm, which was slightly bloodstained. Did he try to kill himself... because of me? Yeonjun asked himself, feeling the guilt tearing his heart apart. He let himself down next to Soobin, wiping the tears which just left his eyes.

He placed a soft kiss on the other's temples, before he lightly shook his shoulders. "Soobin wake up. Hey Soobin, it's me Yeonjun." Soobin turned around a few times, probably still asleep. Yeonjun sight and just laid next to Soobin. With shaking hands, Yeonjun caressed Soobins face. "I am so sorry for what I have done to you." He whispered. Yeonjun knew that Soobin probably couldn't hear him. He stroked the younger boy's cheek, scared that he might break under his touch. Soobin mumbled a few words before he slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey, you're awake." Yeonjun smiled. "Yeonj-jun?" Soobin asked with teary eyes. His breath got unsteady and tears were leaving his eyes. "Shh, It's okay... it's okay Soobin I'm here..." Yeonjun whispered before he pulled the boy closer and stroked his back. "You are dead." Soobin whispered into Yeonjuns chest.

"Soobin I'm right here I promise." Yeonjun mumbled into the others ear. "You left me alone..." Soobin continued. "I know I'm sorry... but I'm here, I'm right here and I'm not gonna go anywhere." Yeonjun kissed the others head, trying to calm him down, while he was wiping away the tears which were running down his face. "I am so sorry Soobinie." With one hand, Yeonjun lifted Soobins chin, connecting their lips. "I love you so much." The older whispered against Soobins lips. "I love you too." Soobin said, his voice still a little shaky. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Hehehehe : )