Bellona: The Fallen War Goddess

Three

In my life, I've only ever met the Goddess of night twice. My first time was when I journeyed down into Tartarus to hunt down a criminal that threatened Jove's life.
When I was only four hundred years--- considered fourteen in human terms. The goddess was enveloped in whispers of stars and darkness. She merely appeared in Saturn's domain to only see the new war god that Jove and Juno created.
The goddess that sent even the fierce Saturn buckling.
Then I could not make out any features on her. No eyes, mouth. Not even her voice. It sounded unworldy, haunting and ancient. My second time was now. Four hundred years later.
So I did not know what to expect when the darkness created strong. winds, sending my dress and hair whipping around me like crazy.
The sounds of distant screeching of those pesky monster furies and other creatures howled in the wind.
I fought to stay my hand when I felt the urge to reach for the weapons that were not there. Then, as fast as it came, the wind and darkness stopped, vanishing into thin air as if it had never occured in the first place.
I looked around where I still stood, not one thing was out of place. The leaves and inanimate objects didn't look even remotely disturbed.
Shifting my gaze away from them, I layed them boredly on the figure before me.
I gave her a sneer as I looked her up and down.
I did not know what I was expecting The goddess of night to look like, but I knew it wasn't the persona of a sixteen year old human female with blue hair and gray eyes in a gothic looking dress with black flats on.
Her pink, full lips stood out against skin that looked like it never saw the light of day.
Those same lips where curled back into a scowl that should send anything running. But I wasn't one of those things. I was a Goddess, taken I was in a human vessel but that did not matter.
"You dare call me stupid you lowly human?" She spat. I rolled my eyes. "If I knew insulting you would get you to appear, I'd done it sooner, Nox. Now, care to help a God out?" I drawled.
Nox's eyes blazed at the tone as she assessed me. A flicker of recognition crossed her face, and a knowing smile spread her lips apart, showing off pearly white teeth.
"Well looky here. The condemned Goddess Bellona. How far you've fallen. I've heard of your banishment. How is your search for the human male?".
I rolled my eyes at her condescending attitude, but it confirmed my hypothesis about her shadows eyes and ears.
No one knows about the identity of the one who attacked Olympus. Let alone what species he was.
So the fact she let this tid bit slip could either be she believes I knew the identity of the theif or she's setting me up.
Schooling my face into neutrality I say "Well, that is exactly why I called on you Nox. I need your help" the goddess eyed me warily before tossing her head back and laughing. It sounded hoarse and unused.
"I know what you seek goddess and I will not help" I was relieved to hear that, since it meant thank God.
"Why not?"
An incredulous look crossed her face "To associate with you could damper my reputation as a goddess. That is why I will not assist you" I rocked on my feet, playing with the leaves with my toes.
"Not necessarily" I slowly said, trying to disguise the heat of embarrassment.

I completely forgot that fallen gods are frowned upon due to any interaction with them could tarnish you in some way.
"Not necessarily?" Nox snorted an ugly sound. "If that isn't the most bull face lie I've ever heard"
"Well aren't you being judgy this---" I looked at the night around us. "Late evening. Now, how about you listen to me before you assume I'm bad news" earnest ate away like like a withering flower that has gone to long without water.
I needed her to cooperate with me.
"Why should I listen to you human Goddess? You once may have had a title that made even Cerberus tremble if uttered, but your name now holds no weight, no fatality if crossed"
Her words held a finality that made my insides drop. She smirked, crossing her arms and waited for my reaction.
Damn. Damn. Damn!. Everything she said was right. But that did not mean I still couldn't send the guard dog of hell whimpering. A smiled thoughtfully.
Yes. A thrill ran up my spine. An old friend I felt when I got ready to put someone in their place.
I took a tentative, but bold, step forward. My legs trembled like wilted leaves, from adrenaline or uncertainty I did not know. Nor did I care. Caring meant failure to hide weakness. Failure yo hide weakness can get you killed. Weakness can be used against you.
I could not afford any of those "That maybe so. But who's to say I cannot still do the same? I maybe condemned to this frail human body. A mortal spirit. But morality will not be a hinderance to my ire towards those who dare to mock me"
Her eyes flashed with wariness, but with a tilt of her head up and a stare that could freeze hell, she says "And do what? You do not carry your Zweihander anymore. You do not hold the bow of infinity arrows. You hold no whip of scourge. How can you possibly send a god or demon running when you are no more scarier then a fly?" Her voice was firm in her insult. But I noticed something that hadn't occured to me before.
Nox, out of all the gods right now, had the chance to take jab at me and kill me. That was normal for minor gods such as herself.
To rise to the top, taking the life of a major god like myself can get you there. If it where me, I would have already killed.
But no, she has not done it. And it could either be because she is trying to put me down by insulting me, doesn't care for a higher status, or....I watched as her skin seemed slick with sweat.
It was cold out here. Nox was scared. Of me. I was no more then mortal now but she stood still as a statue, nervous and sweating from anxiety of being in my presence.
My smile was more bared teeth than anything as I closed the gap between me and the Goddess. I felt her tense up, not expecting this. A soft sound of breath sucking in through teeth was a dead give away to what I suspected.
To tease the goddess I say "I do not need an object to kill. My human hands can do just what a weapon can do. I can gouge out your eyes with my nails, break your bones, snap your neck" I had to hand it to Nox for not backing away when I was but a hand reach away from her.
I also had to give myself credit to being so bold. It felt like I was climbing a dangerous mountain, one that has claimed lives and labeled unclimbable. Adrenaline and determination my only fuel for getting through the climb. And my encounter with Nox.
A little bit of wispy darkness danced around us, incomprehensible words whispered in them. I couldn't tell if they where woman or man. "Your crazy" Nox hissed, she stood straighter, her shoulders thrown back.
"But what else did I expect from You? Your just like Discordia" Discordia, a chasam opened in my heart at the name. Discordia was my friend and battle partner.
But unlike Velox, she was not bound to me to stay, no. She stayed for me, no oath or bind held her to me. I fought the urge to clench the place where my heart lied.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked warily. I forget my friend was the daughter of Nox. Since I never see her and her mother interacting the notion tends to stray from my mind. Starring at Nox, I could see the resemblance of her and Discordia.
They could be twins. Except Nox needed to get rid of the hair color for black hair and her outfit for tunic. Nox gave me a smile, a bitter one at that "Nothing of the sorts. But for her I will help you out goddess. I do not want to have a war with my daughter in my realm"
I was skeptical. There was no way she was helping me out of motherly love. No God cares for their children. Not like the humans and other creatures did. Either way I was not about to question it. She was helping me out, that's all that mattered.
A puff of black smoke appeared at her side and the chasam disapeared. tensed, I readied for anything she might have summoned.
Heart hammering, and blood racing, I watched as a baby black lamb appeared, much to my surprise.
I eyed Nox with apprehension.
What was she planning? Nox moved and my reflexes had me taking enormous steps back as she brushed passed me with ease, surprising me. Not but a minute ago she seemed ready to disappear in the mist of darkness.
Now she walks as if she where taking a leisurely walk.
Did she fake her fear? My blood heated and my face flushed. Not looking at me as she bent down to the animal, the goddess drawled "Yes I did. I know how you are Bellona. And if you are anything like my daughter you need a little ego boost once in a while" I gaped for a second at her before clamping my mouth shut. did I say that out loud?
I clenched my hands into fists, picturing them beating the woman senseless. She played me! And I fell for it. This was a lesson to be learned. I cannot allow myself to fall prey to these emotions so easily.
As a deity I never had to worry about it, the emotions where there but they never ran rampant.
But as a human, they all seemed heightened and unleashed.
Uneasiness flashed and tumbled in me. It was a forewarning to do better. If I cannot control these thoughts, these feelings, and control this human body I will fail. The mere thought sent repulsion rolling.
As much as I hated being one with humans, it was adamant that I do so if I want to make it out of this place alive. I watched as Nox took a piece of parchment from the black lambs mouth.
Petting it softly on the head, cooing praise towards it, Nox bid it farewell as it disappeared in a whirl of black.
I tensed when she turned towards me, I asked warily "What's that?" She clicked her tongue at my question as she outstretched the hand with the rolled paper in it. I only stared at it, refusing to reach for it.
"Bellona, I am not a patient lady. Either refuse the coordinates of the man you seek or I leave right now" heart jerking with that, I waisted no time in snatching it from her hands.
Greedily, I ripped it open and scanned the rather detailed Report of the man I was looking for.
Nodding my head slowly, I stuffed the parchment in between my breasts, watching Nox the whole time as I did so. She didn't give away wether or not it bothered her. Even if it did, I wouldn't care.
Dipping her head slightly towards me, she said dryly "well, I'll be on my way, my work here is done" I grunted in agreement "Yes, thank you for your cooperation" she turned around and a oval shaped portal of windy darkness appeared.
For a split second, I wanted to stop her. But The words in my mouth I wanted to tell her to relay for me caught in my throat. I clenched my hands and gritted my teeth in desperation.
I wanted to tell Velox, Discordia, and Mars that I am alright. But I did not fully trust the night goddess to relay this to them. To rid the aching in my heart, I turned on my heels and began walking away.
To where I did not know.
All I knew is that I wanted to go somewhere and cry. Something I did not want to do but I felt the need to do it unbearable. But Nox's voice made me stop "How?" She asked. I peeked over my shoulder to see her also looking over hers.
She looked bored, sounded bored, uninterested. But her eyes told a different story. I pursed my lips and scrunched my eyebrows "How what?" I replied. Her expression didn't change as she narrowed her eyes
"How did you mess up so badly that Jove cut your wings? It has to take alot for that to happen" I fought the urge to touch my back.
Another heavy loss settled in the pit of my heart. I tried like my life depended on it to not think about them. I fought the image of their pearly white glow under the sun, the sensation of flying with the wind through my feathers.
Vanishing the image, I said in a voice I was surprised I could muster with my throat so thick "I decided to put another life over the flames. That was my mistake, but it is one I'll never regret" and I meant it.
She nodded, downcasting her gaze to the ground, I did so to. Only to watch her movements for anything sneaky and underhanded she might pull.
"My piece of advice to you Bellona is: be careful. And I do not mean be careful of the humans. Be wary of the creatures that lurk in the shadows abd roam broad daylight. They do not like gods. And one such as yourself in this state is easy prey. However, they are unlikely to attack you if you are in a heavily crowded area"
I scoffed, finding the words of wisdom uneeded. I knew this already "I can take them on" I stayed boldly. No I couldn't, I knew I couldn't. But she didn't have to know that.
I was not afraid of the creatures she spoke of. I could kill them easily. Nox looked at me in exasperation "Your going to get yourself killed. With what weapon can you fight them off with? Your hands? No. You will die. Listen for once War Goddess" her eyes burned with an intensity that I struggled to maintain my defiant gaze.
"Why do you care?" Was all I could say. I was at a loss for words. Her need to warn me baffled me. She could be doing it for Discordia. I thought. Which would make sense. Since she stated before that she only has helped me so far was for her.
She scowled at me, her lips turning up, showing off pearly white canines, just like Discordia's. "Your impossible" she snapped, avoiding my question. "Just heed my warning. Also, if you ever need refuge. Go to Salus. You can find her in a house called "Hearth" in a place called sheepshead bay"
I widened my eyes. There she goes again, helping me out with no explanation. I would have badgered her for answers if The goddess of night hadn't disapeared without another word in a realm I seldom knew about.

*****

I sat in the abounded building in a corner, where I concluded was out of sight of any prying eyes, for over an hour Going through the document listing my targets steps they've made. New York is apparently where I am right now, as transcribed on the paper.

I was also in a place in New York called Bayonne, NJ. Whatever that meant.
But it did not matter. Well I guess it did. Know thy enemy, but also know thy environment. All these places like "The big apple bar", "Golden ridge alley", "Haven avenue", "Rickwoods community", and other places where absolutely beyond me.
But it did not matter. What I really was interested in was that in the documents, my suspect was referred to as "Alfonso". In Olympus we nicknamed him God killer. I shuddered at the name.
Ever since my departure, I tried not to think of the gods he managed to kill when he raided with his army off rebels. Alot where minor gods; Honos, Proserpina, Iris, Pax, Sors. The biggest blow to us was loosing Janus and Spes.
Heart skipping a beat, It just now occured to me how undecided the world was now. Without Janus being the eyes of future and past, best paths to take, his insight, we are on doomed.
The Moirai, Porrima, and Postverta cannot be the only ones to determine the fate of events regarding the future of everyone. A distant conversation played over and over in my head like a symphony. A beacon of little hope in my dwindling faith.
"If we kill him, can they be brought back?"
"It's a maybe"
"What do you mean 'maybe'? There is no maybe. You have the power to bring them back!"
"And start a civil discord with the Moirai? They are not ones to be triphiled with. And to interfere with something that was meant to be is dangerous. Let the sisters and the fates take reig---"
"Begone with the consequences! Time is of the essence here. Janus is essential to the survival of Olympus. The Moirai and the two sisters relied on Janus to help shoulder the burden of the fate of everyone. And right now they are in a panic. Without the other structure and stability falters! Let Kharon---"
"Your foolish brother! These things just cannot be messed with!"
"Even for the good of Olympus?"
"I do not know. I am torn. We just cannot make rash decisions without further context. That is how mistakes can become fatal. I will see what can be done...."
Killing him has to bring him back. The fate of mankind and godkind alike depend on that little hope. I sighed heavily, resting a hand on my face.
I hated how useless and pathetic I felt. Everything is falling apart around me and I fear I am not strong enough to face it.
Nox's words rang in my mind, How can you possibly send a god or demon running when you are no more scarier then a fly?
I went from this terrifying god to this weak human. The transition, when I really thought about it, always managed to punch me with a vehemous force. How far have I fallen? It feels like I'm drowning in quicksand.
I growled, a wave of anxiety causing me to punch the hard ground beneath me. "dammit!" For the first time in my life, I wanted to punch my superior for confining me in this difficult situation. I Shook my head. I take that back.
That would not go over well. Though hitting something would ease my annoyance right now.
"Calm down, you just need to talk to the---" a rumble erupted from my chest and I doubled over. That was about the most idiotic idea. Like hell I'd talk to the humans. The mere proposal sent me laughing once more.
Calming down from my fit, still giggling and catching my breath, I looked at my options. I could track down Any minor gods here. They where easy to find. Any ether being can either see it or sense who is a god or goddess.
The only predicament here is that I don't know the area well to track them down. And I do not need to involve myself to heavily in their affairs. Even though I'm technically an exiled god, it does not mean that I don't have a reputation to uphold as well.
The unknown built a pressure in my body that tittered over a ledge. Threatening to fall and let whatever patience I had snap. Sighing, I raked a hand through my hair. Which, to my dismay, was all tangled up.
I then felt self conscious of my appearance. I must have looked awful before Nox. I tugged at the straps of my tunic. A single thread loose from the fabric fluttered from the action and I jerked my hand from it.
The last thing I needed was my only clothing breaking.
I couldn't go up in broad daylight looking like a deranged person. But I knew that was an excuse. I didn't care what I looked like before the humans. I just didn't want to be in that large crowd full of different smells again.
But I knew It was inevitable. I needed to go there. To Salus. She could help get me started on my manhunt. I may not know much about the human world and the way it works at the current moment, but I knew the ways of the gods here.
Salus was a safe haven for everyone. Good or bad. Luckily for me it is a perfect location to lay low for my target. Though there was a chance he wasn't longer there, I still needed to put some faith in that he was.
A surge went through me at that and I pushed myself up. Determination was a current of rushing water. Raging, rough, and merciless.
I can get through this.