Merle, shes praying.

I'm Drowning In My Own Bed

THURSDAY

It followed me home again, it won't leave me alone. It seems so human, although I have my doubts now. If I don't like it, why do I feel like I rely on it to get home safe? I pulled on the strings that kept my bag from falling off me, I knew my skirt had started riding up my legs, it sat right below my knees not that long ago. Maybe that thing is making it go up? Maybe it wants to let the devil in my temple, I think it wants to fuck me.

I slammed the front door shut and sluggishly ran upstairs. My head was pounding, I felt so dizzy as everything flashed around me, I think I was sleep walking... maybe? I woke up on my bed, I was laying down perfectly in the centre, my bag was on the hook on my closed door, how did I get here so fast? I reached to grab my phone from my bedside table. "Shit" I cussed; I think I had left it at school again. I got up to check my bag, but something pulled me back down, it felt as if demons were gripping onto my arms and legs as I lay down.

"Let me go" I would mutter.

FRIDAY

I walked home from school again. I had made sure I had done up all my buttons, I had made sure my skirt was below my knees, I even took pictures of myself when I got my phone back from the school office, it had apparently been in the boy's bathroom? I think it might be one of the guys from the year above me, messing with me, following me around and making me feel so- full. I checked my phone to make sure the pictures were how I thought they were... "WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed, (sorry to the two little kids I scared off who were also walking home) But my pictures... "unbuttoned, and my skirt-" I looked down and it had ridden up my leg, I ran my hand down the back, my skirt was half an inch away from showing my ass, but I didn't bother to fix it.

The rest of the day was like yesterday, I woke up from my bed after I swear to God I was on the stairs, I was dizzy like always. I don't have school today, so I pulled my skirt down and started touching myself, I didn't want to do it, but something made me do it. "I wonder when my mother and father will come back home." I thought to myself, I don't have any siblings or any friends, I'm all by myself, maybe that's why I've grown so attached to that thing.

I was bored as ate my dinner on this bland Saturday. Tomorrow I was going to go to church, then practice singing in the church choir, they say I'm the best singer there is, and my voice is pure. The pastor likes to hear me sing after everyone goes, but he always turns his back to me when I begin to sing. I like to imagine he pretends I'm an angel. He makes me feel less lonely, the only person I have got, I feel safe with him.

I woke up the next morning, I went over to my bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, my hair was messy, and I had eyeliner running down from my eyes. I don't even wear makeup... I smashed my fist into the mirror, there was a quick warmth as the broken pieces cut through my skin so delicately. A black substance trickled down my arm, I watched as It started growing little spikes, I watched as the spikes also cut deep into my now pale skin, I watched it continue and continue like a never ending cycle as I fell to the ground, I felt nothing, except for dizziness and regret.
"I'm not going anywhere, you bitch." It sounded just like me.