As Lydia went inside to get her daughters cake ready,, Harry stood in the middle of the little porch. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. He just stood there. He tried to pull himself together, most likely failed and went inside. Harry saw Lydia hold Cecelia in her small arms with a wide smile that Had the little crinkles at the edge of her eyes, it was Harry's favorite smile in the world.
From where Harry could see Lydia was talking to Cecelia, the little girl giggling.
Lydia still had puffy red eyes, but they weren't noticeable, but Harry noticed. He always notices.
She set Cecelia down and ran her hand through the little girl's hair and she ran away. Lydia didn't notice Harry so he just stayed where he was and watched her every movement. Lydia got out the huge cake and placed it on the table where it was meant to be.
The flat hadn't changed since Harry left. She still had the same furniture, she added a high chair of course, and pictures of her Stella, jake, and of course her and Cecelia, all over the walls. There were no more pictures of Harry and Lydia.
He wondered if she used the spare room. Lydia and Harry had bought this flat that was meant for 3 people. Harry had planned to propose to Lydia and they were going to get married and have kids. That's why they got this flat together. It was his plan.
His plan failed. Miserably.
Lydia had set the candles in and a woman came and tapped Lydia's shoulder, they hugged and talked.
Lydia seems to be the youngest adult in this whole party. Eventually Lydia called everyone and that's when Harry came out of hiding and stood next to louis who was smiling. Everyone said happy birthday to Cecelia who smiled widely exposing deep dimples.
"Cecelia's a cutie." Louis said. Harry chuckled and nodded. They cut the cake and everyone sat around and ate the cake. Harry sat with Louis, as Louis talked Harry's ear off. Of course Harry wasn't paying attention and stared at Lydia who glanced at Harry every once in awhile.
Lydia did not want Harry to stare at her. She did not want to have that familiar feeling inside her stomach. He made Lydia nervous. In her case both good and bad. Then his gaze went from her to something else. She tried to locate who or what he was staring at and when she did it happened. The itch. The itch on her arm under her bracelets.
He was staring at Cecelia curiously. She tried to not claw at her arm, so she just itched it unnoticeably as if her arms itched like a normal person.
She was talking to James's mom and had to get away.
"That's really cool id have to take Celia there one day, hey I have to go to the bathroom I'll uh see you later Mary." Lydia lied. Mary understood seeing as how after being pregnant you use the bathroom more. Lydia excused herself politely and made her way down the hall and to her room shutting it.
Tears formed in her eyes once she shut herself off from the party that was going on, on the other side of the door.
She couldn't believe she had yelled at Harry, she's never yelled at him angrily that was honestly the 2nd worst fight Harry and Lydia had.
Lydia rolled up her long sleeve shirt, and removed the bracelets desperately. She started to scratch. Scratching was something she had turned to other than cutting, she couldn't cut with Cecelia in the house, or while Cecelia was still with her. So she scratched. It was convenient, she could do it anywhere she pleased.
Lydia scratched long and hard on her skin till it turned raw. No blood came out to stain her shirt this time. But ugly thoughts came in to her mind. She thought of the hate she was getting, of Harry, she thought how she was a bad mother of Cecelia for doing this to herself and how Lydia just feels that she is an overall bad mother.
