badbye | Namjoon x reader

8: Secret

Peeping over the nearest book that you had grabbed to hide your face, you saw Namjoon almost aggressively shove Yoongi out of the door so he couldn't come in.
Consequently, Yoongi began shouting back in Satoori.

You wondered why Namjoon didn't want him to come in. It wasn't like what you were doing was wrong. Yoongi knew who you were. In fact, you had grown quite fond of Min Yoongi when you hung out with Namjoon's friends. He was calm, intelligent and sharp-witted: you liked his raw opinions and dry humour. Yoongi, like the other boys, was aware that you were seeing Namjoon at the time - wouldn't he be pleased to know you'd reconnected? Surely they all knew you had been in contact with Namjoon since Seokjin had clocked you on your first visit?

Namjoon pulled the door shut. It made a loud, metallic locking sound which made you blink in quick reaction. You tilted your head so that your ear was positioned towards the mumbling coming from outside but it was indecipherable.

After a minute, he came back in, looking flustered. Cheeks pink and eyes wild as he combed back his hair with his hand.

"What's wrong?" you asked, voice tinged with anxiety.

"Yoongi being nosey," he quickly replied, brushing over the truth.

"Shouldn't he know I'm here?"

"No. No he shouldn't."

Namjoon's tone implied that he was almost ashamed of you being there. It made you feel very unsettled. You closed your book and stuffed it back into your satchel.

"Yah! You've not finished your coffee, where are you going?"

You looked at him, standing there all confused and doe-eyed.

As if he didn't know why you were leaving.

Shaking your head, you grabbed your jacket and walked over to the door, eyes noting the photoframes that were still facing down on his bookshelf.

"Don't tell me this is going to be a new habit of yours? I'm the one who does the leaving!" he joked, raising his eyebrows up and down facetiously.

You didn't find it very funny.

"Excuse me?" you snapped, wondering how he could be so nonchalant about something that had haunted you for the best part of a decade.

His expression melted and turned serious. Namjoon leaned up the door before taking a deep breath. He clutched at his neck and you watched his silver rings glisten as they caught the warm glow of the lamp on the bookshelf.

"I get it. It's awkward for you to be here. You feel like you can't relax? So... maybe it's best if we go somewhere more neutral to hang out?"

There was a pause as he licked the corner of his lip as if he were deep in thought.

"Yoongi wouldn't understand if I told him. None of them would understand."

Then his tone began to changed and he crossed his arms with force.

"I'm not arguing about it with anyone, anyway. I can do what I want with my life."

He sounded like a child being grounded by their parent. You felt like you needed to step in.

"Ok. Calm down, Namjoon. It's fine. We don't have to hang out if it's going to cause issues with your friends. That's not what I want."

"No!" he snapped, frowning. "I want to hang out with you. They wouldn't understand."

Chewing on the inside of your lip, you wondered why he was now trying so hard to hang out with you when he'd tried so hard not to for all those years.