badbye | Namjoon x reader

9: Daeo Bookstore

Turning up unexpectedly outside your apartment sent your brain into a state of hyper-overdrive. All you could do was think about spending time with Namjoon. Going to sleep was pretty much off the cards.

Your breath hitched at the thought of being alone with him. As you cuddled down into your thick blanket, twisting the soft comforter around your body like a cocoon, you couldn't settle yourself down for sleep. For hours you tossed and turned, restlessly turning your pillow over to find the cool spot over and over again. Thinking of going to the bookshop with him made you feel giddy with excitement. You wondered what you would talk about. Thoughts of his dark eyes and full lips clouded your consciousness as you tried to cleanse your mind and go to sleep. When you finally slept, it seemed like for five minutes. The sound of your phone buzzing had woken you up.

[Get the 421 to Gyeongbukgung Station. I'll meet you there. Don't be alarmed if you don't see me; I've got to hide in the shadows because the sunlight will turn me to dust ...]

You actually threw your phone on the bed and giggled to yourself, covering your growing smile with your hands and smushing your cheeks together. He was so funny pretending he was vampire. However, you understood the deeper meaning of his analogy. He wasn't trying to be funny; he had to be discreet because if he was seen in public, there would be trouble.

You wondered how you'd meet him in the public sphere without people identifying him.

It never used to be a problem.

Most of the time you'd hang out at Hangang Park or even just walk through Itaewon grabbing a coffee, meandering into the shops. On a few occasions, you had hung out at bars with him and his friends. One of them always got too drunk so you would help Namjoon take them home. After safely escorting the drunken boy (usually Jimin) into the dorms and tucking him into bed, you would sit on the balcony with Namjoon watching the stars as you discussed everything from Nihilism to Eminem. With each drag of your cigarette, he would mention something interesting whilst you would stare at him, soaking up every ounce of knowledge he had to offer.

Everything about him intrigued you. Namjoon was like a drug; intoxicating and always left you wanting more. It was hard not to fixate on his handsome features. You longed for him to do more than just hold your hand. Usually, the night ended when Jungkook or Taehyung came bounding in, drunk and loud, interrupting you.

Thinking of that happy past made you feel low, as if you were mourning from a time in life when you were truly happy. Some part of you started to get angry. Why couldn't he go out and enjoy his life like a normal person? How dare society decide what he could and couldn't do.

You began to feel nervous.

After calming yourself down with a very small shot of whiskey, you began to get ready. You wouldn't normally drink when you woke up - in fact, you had never done such a thing - but you couldn't even think straight at this point.

He was the man of your dreams.

Then you realised that was all he was ever going to be. A man in your dreams: nothing more.

He had made it very clear you were friends.

Friends.

Digging your nails into your palms to stop you thinking about it made your eyes water. You shook your head and told yourself to snap out of it. Taking a deep breath, you grabbed your coin-purse and leather jacket as you left your apartment and headed to get the 421 bus.

After twenty minutes, you began to grow concerned as you realised you were heading out of the city and to the outskirts. There was far more greenery and the shops became more quaint and traditional. The bus was moving too fast for you to decipher the Hangul on the road-signs so you had no idea where you were. The mountains, like wise and ancient guardians, were getting closer. Your eyes were fixed to the roadside as you tried to see where you were. When the bus stopped, you saw you were at Gyeongbukgung Station.