VINDICATOR. (A PvZ Alternate Universe Fanfiction)

Prologue

One day, Zomboss eventually became tired of their continuous streak of defeats in the battlefield and decided to hit it up a notch. He conducted a large meeting and met the majority of the zombies in a giant stadium.

"We all know who this brown-bearded fubsy-ass cuckoo man is, RIGHT?" Zomboss raised as he stood proudly on front of a lectern as millions of zombies cheered in agreement, watching him in a gargantuan stage.

"Guys, lend me your ears closer, I'll let you all in a secret-!" Zomboss muttered on the microphone as he smiled, baring his untidy teeth. Most of the zombies leaned forward, "Did you know that he once tried to stick his heavy butt on someone's kid's little navy-blue bicycle? Even his dirty underwear slipped out of his blue jeans!" A tsunami of laughter began to fill the entire stage.

"Guess what? The bicycle didn't break--- his cheeks kissed the cement road---he fell flat his crap!" Zomboss articulated. The zombies all roared in laughter for the second time, "You know, even me as a large-brained figure of sheer intelligence, the feeling of dumbassery still runs in me as I try to figure out what had occurred in his skull as he rode the bike like he's about to be a BMX champion-!" Zomboss cut his speech as a loud undying cackle busted out of his throat. The zombies' reaction didn't really differ that much as Zomboss did.

Zomboss had bawled so much that he tripped and began to snortle and wheeze, "I don't know, man, the way that he launched that small bicycle up, the screws holding the seat went KABLOOEY-" He yawled in a high-pitched tone, "-as soon that his butt met the seat, and the seat itself just creaked as it rotated backwards as it was like, "For holiness' sake, I'm made for little children, not for middle-aged doolally bloated man-children!""

The stage flooded in the zombies' indiminished laughter for a good moment.

Zomboss attempted to catch his breath, "Oh-oh my god, okay," He drew a large amount of air in, "Who would've thought that the mere narration of a silly event in the past could crack me up this much-" He spoke in a shaking voice as he wiped his tears off his eyes.

"Phew, yeah, who would've thought," He straightened his posture as he tidied his uniform. He brought the microphone closer to him, "That aside, PAY ATTENTION." He asserted. The murmur of the crowd progressively died down then and there.

"First and foremost, I'd like to preach that we are not going to let Dave slip off easy and nice at this very time, contrary to my usual mannerisms." Zomboss spoke, his face assuming a rather more stern appearance than before. "My guesses are that it's likely that everyone tend to lean toward this specific idea: There's nothing that can't be solved by showering the enemy with projectiles such as peas-" Zomboss gagged, "-I don't like peas. Neither those who store them in their MOUTHS!" He snarled. "With that said, I do have the intent to build upon that aforementioned postulation, which if you are too nut-brained to know what's that even supposed to mean, I wish to modify that idea to my advantage!" Zomboss spoke firmly.

"With that said, before I continue, I will conduct a brief survey, and all you need to do is to raise your hand if you agree to this particular question: WHO loves explosions?" Zomboss raised. Roughly half of the zombies present there all proceeded to throw their hands in the air.

"With stupendous enthusiasm! You all are a BUNCH of pyromaniacs!" Zomboss shouted as his eyes enlargened, "Anything for brains, I see possessing that quality as perfectly justified." He uttered, his voice returned to normal and his face eased.

"Now, that casted aside," Zomboss said, "I've already formed the ultimate genius solution, all in my head whilst bringing speech here up the stage! We all know that sending zombies for as much as I wanted is no remarkably hard feat for me. Now, add that with heavy-duty guns that can hold 22 rounds of miniature explosive warhead at maximum. Sounds insane, RIGHT?" He swiftly spread both his arms wide as he raised his voice in a quick duration. Most of the zombies had their jaw dropped and their eyes widened as a result.