Lack of sleep [Zagnos] • Hades

Chapter 3 | wave of emotion

It seemed that Hypnos had bottled things up for too long, because he just couldn't stop crying. Zagreus wasn't used to seeing him so sad, it was different to say the least.

Sitting by the Styx on the riverbanks, Hypnos leaned into Zagreus' chest craving some kind of comfort. Zag wrapped the very huggable god in his arms in an attempt to provide that comfort.

"Hypnos, a frown doesn't suit you as well as your usual smile does. Do you... maybe want ti talk about it?" Zagreus asked.

The teary eyed god took a moment to put together words, wiping the tears on his cloak.

"I wouldn't even know where to start. Everything is such a mess... everything keeps going wrong..." he sniffled.

"Well... how about we start from the beginning of when you started feeling upset? What happened first?"

Thinking back to the first hit to his emotions, he didn't really like to dig up the memory. But he realised that Zagreus didn't even know about this one as Zagreus hadn't been born yet. Despite Hypnos seeming quite childish, he was older than Zagreus. They spent childhood together in the house of hades, but Hypnos and his twin Thanatos were born before Zagreus was.

"Well... when I was young, before you were born... I once had two wings" he sniffled.

Zagreus had no idea Hypnos had a second wing. He always thought it was just the one on the side of his head, and that art humans made of him having two was just some kind of miscommunication in storytelling.

"You did? You must have been tiny if this was before I was born" Zagreus replied.

"Very very young. I was a... mischievous godling and one day one of my pranks on an Olympian went too far... it was the first time I remember feeling so much fear and so much pain. It was also the first time I saw mother at her most powerful. Zeus didn't appreciate being put to sleep in the middle of whatever he was doing, so when he woke up and realised it was me... he chased me down and tore my wing off before I could get to mother. When I did she was furious and was able to get him to back down. But it took her weeks to console me, weeks to heal me, and even though it's been several thousand years she still doesn't forgive him for what he did. I was just a child, I didn't know any better... but that was the first time I felt so much fear and dread. After that it was just... all downhill" Hypnos explained.

How did Zagreus now know of this? Clearly it wasn't a pleasant memory so he understood why no one would bring it up, but surely he'd have heard it through the grapevine at some point right?

Shocked, he bought a hand up to the side of Hypnos' head and through his soft hair was a scarred over section of skin from where the tear was.

And to think he'd been taking boons from Zeus all this time... after he'd hurt Hypnos like that. Yes it'd been thousands of years but Hypnos was just a godling when it happened and it stuck with him all these years later...

"Hypnos... I understand why you'd never bring it up but... you kept it silent even though you knew I was taking boons from him? I would have stopped or confronted him if you'd told me" Zagreus said.

"I know... but I don't really like talking about it. But that is the answer to your question, the first time I felt this way. And the next time... well that was when Than and Charon started pushing me away..."

Zagreus was aware of this part of the story, he'd heard about it from all three brothers. And while they were slowly repairing things it was still a painful thing to loose your brothers that were so close with you.

"And not even that long after the two of them made it clear to me they'd rather focus on work than the family, mother decided I needed to become more independent. But after the wing incident... I just didn't feel safe without her around. It was so hard to stand on my own two feet, even just to sign in shades. I feel that if she's not around the protect me from harm, then I'll just be hurt again. I'm aware I'm a god with powers but sleeping and dreaming powers don't exactly hold up I'm a battle. I'm a being off peace and tranquillity not war and violence" Hypnos explained.

Even though Nyx was around the house a lot, she was often busy helping run the underworld and being the night herself. To a point Hypnos did need to be independent, that's just part of growing up. But after the terrifying experience he had, it made complete sense he'd be apprehensive to leave the safety of his mothers nest.

"Ever since then I feel like my own family doesn't care for me. They never spend time with me, never acknowledge me unless I overwork myself to please lord Hades, never acknowledge the importance of my power to keep humans rested. It's like I'm just another shade wandering the halls. The only person that actually pays attention to me is you, that's why I'm always talking to you when you come out of the Styx... I just want to keep you around so I'm not abandoned again. Plus... you can fight which means you can protect me"

Without Hypnos, the shades aren't checked in.
Without Hypnos, mortals go insane from lack of sleep.
Without Hypnos, mortals die or exhaustion.
Without Hypnos, no one can dream.

His work and mere existence is so important but he always felt as if no one cared. He didn't need to be praised like an Olympian, just told he was doing well every so often.

He felt abandoned by his family, under appreciated and left with fear over what happened to him as a child.

Even gods have emotions, fears and dreams.

"I guess that's it. That's everything that's wrong. I'm just so tired I want to sleep for the rest of eternity... but if I do that I can't see you" he finished.

It was clear to Zagreus now, he was the only one that took Hypnos seriously. So that was the soul reason Hypnos was even disclosing this information to him, if it was anyone else he probably would have joked away the pain.

"Hypnos, you know how important you are right? No one can keep up with your job at the house, and humans would literally die without you. You deserve a lot more recognition, you really do. You're sleep itself for gods sakes, no one can live without it! Even us gods need rest sometimes. I do wish people would take you more seriously, you deserve it" Zagreus reassured.

"I mean I'm not very good at staying awake in professional situations, that's probably why people think I'm a joke" Hypnos half joked.

"Again, You're literally sleep itself. Of course sleep is going to be sleepy. If others can't understand that then they're just stupid really. I get it, you feel abandoned and anxious and pressured to perform. But just know that as long as I'm around your hard work will be recognised, you'll always have me to talk to and protect you. I can't believe you've been so upset for so long and I didn't even notice, I'm sorry Hypnos... I should have-"

"No no! I covered it all up all these years. I don't expect you to know these things unless I tell you"

"I should have checked in more often though. You've been affected by all this for so long... I'm sorry Hypnos. My father's strict rules probably don't help either... look I can try and talk to your family again about being closer with each other, and I can try and get my dad to ease off on you. I'll even stop taking boons from Zeus if you want, actually no I'm going to anyway... he hurt you and I don't approve of that..."

Hypnos was happy that Zagreus truly cared about him, but he felt as if he was putting a burden on him by telling him all his problems.

"Zagreus you don't have to-" he began.

"No I'll help as much as I can ok? I don't like seeing you sad, your smile and laughing at your own jokes is the best part of you" Zag cut off.

The kindness of the prince warmed his heart and a smile broke on his face, cheeks stained with damp tears and eyes red from crying.

"Thank you, Zagreus..." he smiled, wrapping his arms and cloak around the boy with mismatched eyes.

Zagreus' much stronger than his grip wrapped around Hypnos again, and the two gods sat beneath the dead tree in a tight embrace.

"You deserve the world Hypnos, don't stress. We can work things out" Zagreus replied.

That hug lingered for a while, and in the comfort of the moment the sleep god completely forgot about a side effect if his hugs. Hug for too long and the person will fall asleep.

So after a while of sitting there, Zagreus comforting him, he slowly began to fall asleep leaning on sleep himself. When Hypnos realised, the hug didn't break, rather he pushed back slightly to look down at the now sleeping prince.

"Ah- oops forgot about that. Well... he needs sleep anyway" he mumbled to himself.

Maybe he could continue that nap, at least until Zagreus woke up again.