Nothing Happens But I Love You

Did it really start here?

The day of today, the night of tomorrow. We will be forgotten, from the few, from the rich and from the poor.

My name is Azail Caddle and I am 16 years old. Im a good and brunette girl from a good and brunette family with a perfect bloodline that lives in a big pretty house on the coast of Oregon. I dont do crazy things, I dont do stupid things, I dont let my feelings get into me.

At least that is what I was, but this fourth of July things will change, as they never do, as they never did. I wrote that on the 185th page of my diary, believing it, maybe I will finally see Olivia and not think of strangling her, maybe I will talk to Silas and really listen to him, maybe I will go down to breakfast and not scream at father, maybe I won't make my pretty little and perfect sister Abigail cry. So I closed the diary, took a moment to get through the mess of my room and decided it was time for breakfast. I was barefoot, walking through the large corridor of our pretty and big house. The corridor walls were empty and cold ever since mom left, father and grandpa took every photo in every corridor and table down and up, every object that reminded them of her, of what she had done.

I finally got to the kitchen, Abigail was making pancakes, father wasnt in the picture. Then I went near the fridge and opened it, it was full, but none of my favourite food was there, of course, and obviously Abigail wasnt keen to share food. Especially when it's her that made it, so I just grabbed a glass of water and a peach that was extrangely on the fridge. I sat on the table and started to eat alone since Abigail took her pancakes to her room without saying a word.

At that point my life, if you could call it a life, it was the same everyday. Getting up, having breakfast, going up to my room, having lunch, going back to my room, having dinner and going to bed, if I was lucky maybe father forced me to go and buy groceries or maybe Olivia, Silas and the others will call to pick me up to go to grab something to eat, which I would obviously reject. I was so tired that I couldnt sleep, I was so tired that I couldnt smile, so tired that I couldnt even pat Dash, our dog.

I went up to my room, organized it a little, put all the books I had already read on the shelf, put the clothes in the wardrobe, and threw the empty tea cardboard glasses away. Maybe I did that because putting everything in their place would make me see my place, but it didnt, it remembered me to all the fun nights on this big room , when it was pink and not white, when it had dolls and not hidden pills, when it wasnt an escape from everyone else but a place where to rest and play.

It was then when I decided to go out again, see if the feeling that I was feeling was only there, at this ghostly big house. I searched for my phone in the drawer below my desk, since it had been there for one month. The screen was broken and the battery was dead, the charger was lying beside it so I plugged it in and waited five minutes. When the phone started I had three missed calls from Olivia and one email from school checking if I will be there for the next term. I called Olivia and she instantly picked up.

"Aza! How are you? Its been a long time since we last talked, did you lose your phone or something? I have lots to tell you."

She did sound a little excited, I wasnt ready to fake a whole conversation with her yet, nor to tell her why I disappeared and everything that happened with mom.

"I was just calling to see if we could hang out this afternoon. You know us, Silas, Joe, Hannah and everyone else"

"Yeah, I remember who our friends are, Aza. It will be cool for me, cant wait to tell everyone you are back! Silas has been asking for you daily. Well pick you up at four"

"At four is ok, see ya there"

"Bye Aza lov-"

I hung up, I was already a little sick of her but less than last time. I suppose, since we met at four, that we are going to take Joes yacht if they still have it. I looked at the clock and it was 10a.m so I had plenty of time alone to get emotionally ready.