Nothing Happens But I Love You

Lips or hands

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music

I woke up the next day feeling as if I didnt sleep for days. I slept a couple of hours, and I couldnt get out of bed. No one is asking you to, I thought. I read one book, done, two books, done, three books, done. I didnt have breakfast, I went downstairs to get lunch but there was barely anything edible and I decided to go to the grocery store. Dressed up and did my make up, I was only going to the groceries but I had to feel like I could get out of bed today, it was a dare to myself and so I did. I picked up some money out of the money bag grandpa gave us for this month and went to the store.

Walking to the store I thought that I should have a job, I didnt want to rely on my family money so on my way back I stopped at the post office and asked.

"I have a bike" I said and the postwoman seemed really nice.

"Then you have the job sweety" I think she saw the desperation and grief in my eyes but I was happy because I did it on my own.

"You start tomorrow at 9am until 12am, youll do the mornings and someone else will do the afternoons, you wont work on Saturdays nor Sundays, is that ok with you?"

"Its fine by me, thanks a lot"

I arrived to the stupid house, left the food, picked up an apple, my MP3, my bike and went to my spot withouth thinking and oh to not thinking because what I found was much better than all of it.

"Hey" I said to him.

"Azail!" Darcel said and smiled. I smiled back.

"I see you eat healthy things" he said.

"I like apples"

"Me too"

"What were you doing here?" I asked and sat with my back on a tree facing him.

"Waiting for you"

"You didnt knew-"

"I knew"

"How?"

"A wizard never reveals his tricks" he said grinning.

"Can I hug you?" I asked

"Dont even ask for it" and I hugged him, strongly, he hugged me back. I wanted to tell him everything about me, the good, the bad. I wanted him to destroy me into pieces. I was so attracted to him it was scary. I could give up on everything else in a second.

He broke the hug, we were close laying in the grass.

"Can we talk?" he asked. "About anything and everything. But first" he looked at my lips. I nodded and he kissed me, as if it was nothing and everything, light and dark, fire and water. It was just a short kiss but the butterflies were in a crisis inside of me right now.

He talked and I listened, and for a long time, I felt interested in someone's words. I learned that he plays the bass and writes songs. I learned that he and his mother just moved here to be closer to the rest of the family. I learned that he had a cat since he was a kid but he died two years ago. I learned that he had no brothers or sisters, he had no friends here besides Silas and I dont think friend would be a term to describe our relationship he said, he still kept yesterdays drawing. I learned a lot of things about him and now was my turn to do the same to him.

I talked and I felt listened to, he heard me like no one did. I told him about what I liked, books, writing, and listening to music. How I liked rainy days, I liked to beat stop signs since I was a kid and how I once took one down. I told him about my friends and how they werent my friends, about my feelings about them and he understood. I tried to tell him about my family but I ended up saying Its just messy and he got the message that I wasnt ready to talk about that just yet. I told him about my dreams and ambitions, of how badly I wanted to be a writer in the future, of how badly I wanted to be old, walking through the world and learning about everyone. I told him the way I liked to watch people and he looked at me like he didnt want to say but he did so too.

"And today I got a job" I said proudly.

"Really? Cool, where?"

"At the post office"

He smiled leaned in closer and said "Im going to send myself letters so you just come to my house again, and again, and again"

I kissed him, this time more passionately and it went on and on and I was pinned on the tree now. He had one hand in my face and the other one was resting on the tree, our tree. Both of my hands were running through his hair. I love hands, his hands. I had my eyes closed for a while and when I opened them I saw him looking at me in my eyes watching the world through them. I could crumble right there, in his hands, in his mouth. He was hurt too, I could notice his shaky hands and how he was scared to look away from me because maybe I could just be a dream and disappear, but if I was a dream, I was his dream. I stopped, he stopped and he was out of breath and I couldnt comprehend how so much beauty can be held in such a perfectly shaped body and mind.

"Azail" raspy voice, he called my name as no one did, do and will do.

"Darcel" my voice came out quietly and soft.

He took my hand and kissed it.

"You are my angel" he said

"Do angels have horns?" I asked

"Just you, they cut your wings, you grow horns thats how you live and thats how I want to live with you"

"And how am I supposed to fly back to heaven now?"

"We will build up our heaven"

"I like that, I like you"

"I like that, I like you" he said, repeating my words.

"Same time, same place tomorrow?" I said

"Actually" I was scared, I didnt want him to go and I didn't want to not see him. "I was going to ask you if you were going to the party tonight"

"What party?" I had no idea what he was talking about but if he wanted me to go Ill go happily.

"Hannahs birthday party, he invited all of us, I asked" I forgot completely about her birthday, she always makes a huge party for it over her huge house.

"You are going?"

"Yes"

"Then my answer is yes" I kind of wanted a party, maybe a few drinks will make me have fun, at least, thats what I thought.

He took my hand and we walked down the beach we said later and we went separate ways.

On my way to the stupid house I stopped at a small shop and bought Hannah a flowery skirt I liked. When I arrived, Abigail was with father on the couch watching a movie. She said hi, dad was more interested in the movie. I went upstairs and I was angry, I punched the wardrobe and now when it opens it sounds weird. I was angry because Abigail could be watching a movie close to father and I couldnt pass past him without getting yelled at or ignored. It wasnt fair. But then, I realised that I shouldnt care about it, but I did. I shouldnt care about anything, but I did. I shouldnt go to that stupid party, but I did.