Pain (Ticci Toby)

First chapter

Alex's POV

Hi, my name is Alex Lea Valentine. Yes, my last name is Valentine, just like the holiday. I'm 16, turning 17 in July. It's April right now and I live with my dad and younger brother, Jacob. My sister, Abby, moved out a couple years ago.

My dark red alarm clock blasts my small ears, making me jump. I rub my bright blue eyes and got out of bed. I looked at the time, 6:00 a.m, just enough time to get ready for the day. I walked into the my small bathroom and began to strip my P.Js., then I got into the warm shower.

After my shower, I changed into a danisnotonfire shirt and black leggings with a cute sparkly black skirt. Some say that I'm a girly girl and others say a tomboy, but I'm a little bit of both.
I stole a glance at me in the mirror.

I had bright blue eyes, tan skin, and a slim body, but the pretty things stopped there. I had bags under my eyes, pimples on my nose and for head, I was 4'12, I had big thighs, my teeth could be whiter, and much more. I was a ugly freak.

Over the years, I began to feel ugly, unwanted, and depressed, but I never cut and never tried to kill myself. I promised myself that I would never cut, drink, smoke, and suciced. My sister did though, she had cuts over her arms and wrists and tried to kill herself 3 times. She smoked pot and weed.
I don't know why though, she had tons of friends, a boyfriend, and basically got whatever she wanted. I was jealous, of her. Not because she cut, because she has so many people looking out for her.

Before I walked out, I saw my red razor and thought, it's just one cut, it wouldn't hurt. I shoke my head, as if that will get rid of the thought. I couldn't do it! I can't! But maybe I can. Before my mind can react, my body took the razor and cut a simi deep cut in my wrist. Shearing pain went with the cut, and I didn't mind.

I can pull this off like my cat scratched me, but I cut myself again and again. I had five cuts before I could stop myself. I look at the blood pouring cuts and thought what have I done?! Blood was pouring out of the wounds and on the white, now red, carpet. I put a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming and put my wrist into the sink. I turned on the water to cold and kept my wrist under it for awhile. After the blood stopped flowing I grabbed the huge Band-Aids and put them on on by one. I threw my pink towel over the blood stained carpet as I rushed to get to school.

Then I ran down stairs, shoved my feet into my black vans, and looked at the clock. 7:45, school starts at 8:00. I jumped out the door and sprinted to school. I got there, just as the bell rang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time skip~~~~~~

The bell rang and I sighed with happiness. School was over for today. My best friend, Miley, walked up to me, "Hey, do want to come over?". I said back, "Can't my sister is coming over.". She then nodded and left. If I would have gone with her, I would probably still be living that normal life. But who likes normal?!