The Dark Side Of Formula One

11

I wake up to the sun rising. I slowly open my burning eyes and shivers shoot down my spine. I quickly sit up and look around. I hadn't gone to bed I was still outside on the balcony. My hands and legs were numb from being outside. My eyes felt raw from crying and my head was pounding. When my eyes had adjusted to the sun I quietly slid open the door, carful not to wake olli. I seen myself in the mirror. My mascara was all down my face and my eyes were bloodshot and swollen from crying and the dark circles under my eyes were the darkest I've seen. I was looking beautiful for media day...great.

I grab a bottle of water from the mini fridge and sit down on the couch and pull over the blanket to try warm myself up again. I scroll through all the pictures of me and my dad. I can't help it, the tears start coming again. I don't try fight it anymore I just let the tears roll down my face so when everyone wakes up there will be none left to cry. I can't let anyone see me like this. I had to put on a strong front.

I need to stop crying and pull myself together and do this for my dad! I need to make him proud. If I can't be with him in hospital I'm going to do it this weekend. I don't care what I have to do or risk I'm going to get a podium!

I take a few minutes to clean myself up and stop crying. I look at the clock to see it's 7am. I set an alarm on my phone for one hour to try get some sort of sleep before we head to the track. I lay down on the couch and close my eyes.

O-y/n, you okay?

I slowly open my eyes to see olli kneeling down Infront of me.

O-y/n what is it, why didn't you come to bed last night?

I sit up and wipe my eyes and take a deep breath.

Y/n- it's-

I try to tell him but then I decide not to. I can handle it myself.

O-it's what?

Y/n-it's just that you were flat out asleep last night so I slept here on the couch so I didn't wake you

O-you didn't need to do that

Y/n-you needed sleep

O-thank you, I love you

I smile and give him a hug.

Y/n-I'm going to get a shower

O-okay I will make us breakfast

Y/n-perfect

I get into the shower and let the water run down my body. I just stand there. The tears start to fall, I can't tell which are the tears and what is the water. It's all so overwhelming. I need to get it all out now before the media starts and I'm surrounded by people.

I get out of the shower and wrap myself up in the towel. As olli finishes up breakfast I blow dry my hair and get changed. I put on my red bull top and some jeans.

O-here you go

Y/n-thank you

We sit on the balcony and eat the breakfast and chat for a little.

O-you didn't sleep last night did you?

Y/n-a little, how did u know

O-I can see it in your eyes, they are all red and they have bags under them

Y/n-ye I'm just nervous