Me, Myself, And I

Ch. 1:Different From The Start

Alright so let me start off with a quick introduction. Hello. My name is Sam or Samuel Svennung. I'm a 19 year old guy and I'm from Goteborg Sweden. I was born in Sweden but I moved to America with my parents when I was like 4 years old. I make music and art and...I'm gay. If you don't like me for who I am, trust me I really don't care and you can stop reading this and leave but if your interested, thank you and welcome to the story. Being gay I knew that I was different from the start. I even knew in my early years that something was off. My dad was very manly and he would like to do all these manly things like wrestling and sports and all that kind of stuff. Me as a child wanted to do everything my mom would do. I'd play with dolls and things like that. My dad would always say things like, "she's attractive," or "check out that girl Sam." I never found a single thing attractive about any woman. At school I'd always chase boys and not girls. Id do things with the girls in my school and not with the boys. I was little so hardly knew that what the society thought I did was wrong. I always knew that deep inside I had an attraction to guys and not girls. As I grew up and was in America I started to realize that liking guys in the "society's eyes" was wrong and bad. I assumed it was a stage and that it happened for a reason and I would return back to normal. Around all the other kids I felt different and not normal. It wasn't because I was from another country. It was because I had an attraction to boys and not to girls. I remember being in 1st or 2nd grade and there was this boy. His name was Patrick and I attracted to him instantly. This kid was very blond and he had the bluest of eyes. I always used to chase him and try to get his attention and hold his hand because I didn't know it was wrong. He would always run away from me and be grossed out by me. Many people saw me as different and weird and gross and not normal. The more I kept growing up I started to realize why they saw me that way. My mom and dad grew there suspicions about me. They weren't exactly sure what was going on with me and I didn't either. I've always had that aching feeling that deep down inside I knew who I was and I know that I was a homosexual from the start. It took so much learning and so much support to truly except who I am and I've learned to be proud of who I am and to not be discontent with myself just because I like guys. If you feel like you are just so horrible or just so discontent with yourself because you like your same gender I beg you to not be. You should be proud of who you are and not be disappoint because you like your same gender. You be proud of who you are no matter who you are or what you are. Id you gay or a lesbian you kind of just know. You have that feeling inside you forever and when you know you just know. I always knew I was different from the start.