All my life I've been a loner , I lock myself up in my own space because I feel like if I ever come out people will see how fragile I truly am and the thought of that scares me more than I could possibly express , but deep down I know that I'm not the only one always makes jokes because I feel like everyone around me needs the laugh so they don't feel like I do and I know I'm not the only one who feels like an outcast and I know I'm not the only one who gives away all the fake smile when all I truly want to do is break down but the only reason I'm not giving in to that idea of breaking down is because deep down I know that I got nobody to pick me up.
I don't let anyone into my life because I'm scared they'll end up seeing straight through me and I really don't want anyone to get to know my personal demons, but this all changed the day I met her because after meeting her I didn't feel like hiding my demons away from her , the truth is I wanted her in my life just as much as it scared me to know that she might not like the demons she meets and it scared me to know that she might be my undoing, it scared me to know that once again I'm leaving myself vulnerable and I know that I may never get over it if I get hurt once more.
But I guess my mind and my heart are at it again always wanting different things and leaving me in the wake of their fierce battle over who gets what, but as much as I want to follow my mind the grip my heart has on me is just too strong .
I want to know her, every atom of my body and soul wants to know about all of her and from that moment I knew there's more to her than just a pretty face and I knew there's more to her smile than what you see on the surface.
On getting to know her I finally knew why I feel the way I do about her, I discovered that I didn't want to keep my demons away from her I really wanted her to meet them, I discovered that whenever she looks at me I feel like my soul has been left bare for her to see , I feel her eyes piercing right through my body and into my soul.
There's something about her, about her smile, she has an infectious smile but I don't think I'll smile back at her if she smiles at me because I can see through the glamour of her pretty smile, I can see the pains hidden behind it and it's not something I'll wish upon anyone because I'm going through the same thing and I know she lies everytime I ask her how she's doing because she always say she's fine, and deep down I know she's not but one day I know she will be Fine
I remember the night I shed tears as she reminisced about her parents, I never knew I'll ever see so much pains , all I wanted to do was take her pains away but I couldn't because I'm just human and that isn't something I can do with a flick of my fingers, but I prayed to God to heal her soul and make her find peace.
I've lost someone who meant the world to me and I've never liked the feelings that came along with that neither do I like the days that followed, because it broke me to pieces and I'm still trying to heal.
I just couldn't bear the fact that she's going through the same thing let alone Stand the idea that what she's going through might be worst than what I've been through.
I just want to hold her hands and hope that the rain falls and wash our pains away, but that's just not the case.
I love her with all her demons intact and I mean it.
Edison's POV
YOU ARE READING
BEHIND THE SMILE
RomanceTwo souls with troubled past and an even more uncertain future brought together by a force they can't control will they succumb to this feelings or let their past control their future.
