Why Not Murder

63. Ruin or Fresh Start

63. Ruin or Fresh Start

Maya was putting Winnie through her exercise routine and training Harriet so she could do it for Winnie also.

"I'm seeing improvement already," Maya said, "and I hope you do too."

"Yes," Winnie replied, "my legs don't have that dead feeling any more, rather they feel so incredibly weak and that's why I can't move them. I have been doing the exercises for the rest of my body a few times a day, in addition to the times we run through them together."

"You still have to be very patient," Maya said, "There's no telling how long this recovery will take, concentrate on going up the hill rather than on how high the hill is. The exercises for your arms and torso are extremely important as well because they get your circulation going and that passes along all your blood system including the dormant legs of course."

"When Maya isn't here," Harriet said to Winnie, "I'll put you through this three times a day." At the end of the session, Harriet excused herself and went to the office upstairs to work on what needed doing there. As soon as Harriet was gone, Winnie took Maya's hand and tears began to spill silently from her eyes.

"I can only hold them back so long," Winnie said, "Tara has been keeping me apprised on the law suit about Hudson's mum's jewelry. Pessimism overwhelms me. At least it's not affecting my belief in my ability to walk again."

Maya and Winnie had a bond of sympathy between them. Even though they were so different in so many ways, Maya felt that what she did have in common with Winnie was of greater value. Despite all the terrible things Winnie had done, including the worst of all, murder, Maya forgave Winnie. Maya thought that the murder Winnie had committed was the worst of actions and Maya had some measure of conviction that Winnie wouldn't kill any more. Maya was addicted to the tremendously fulfilling sentiment that her forgiveness of Winnie caused in herself. Often Maya thought it would likely be different if Winnie killed someone Maya cared deeply about. Maybe it was because Winnie mattered more to Maya than any of Winnie's victims did. Then again, while remembering the awful deaths of her daughter and husband, which were both slow and painful due to poisoning from environmental pollution, Maya was somehow coming to grips with that too. She would always hold XX Fuel accountable for those deaths and hated the greedy profit-driven minds of the executives in charge. But somehow that was settling in her emotional state. Could those greedy executives have been anything different from what they were, given the values of the environment that produced them? A pale forgiveness was creeping in and growing stronger. Then too, Maya would wonder if that was happening because she had the strong feeling that the spirits of her daughter and husband, particularly of her daughter, were living somewhere on the planet in two children born since their deaths. She could also feel the strong influence of her adopted mother's spirit around her, perpetually keeping her company. These were feelings she could not shake no matter how little logical sense they made and she was grateful to have them.

"I'm going broke," Winnie muttered, "not quite yet but the day is coming. I'm losing money without control. Yes I can blame my husband and his accountants and lawyers and the strange state the economy is in, taxes, and the whole thing, but I cannot imagine life without income. I will only be able to pay my staff for a few more months and then what? I can't live without them. They have become part of me. None of them has the slightest idea, though Harriet may suspect. It's all my fault!"

Maya hugged Winnie close and said to her, both of them looking openly into each other's eyes, "You have something of far greater value than all the money in the world. You have people who truly care for you. The members of this household have been supporting each other all along. Money has insinuated itself into the workings of our household economy but can easily be done away with. Money is an addiction that our society will not knowingly break away from because it knows no other way of being. But once money is removed from the equation of our working together and providing for each other, it becomes apparent that it was never required at all. You grew up money-dependent with a father who exalted money, and so you cannot see beyond that yet. Have faith in your true friends. I grew up outside the money system, so did Doug and I know that the others are also aware that happiness is most fulfilling when there is no money to dirty the sentiment."