can too much possibly be enough?

Another plan

Heyy, sorry I took too long to update. Anyways how are you guys doing? How was your week? 

I hope you enjoy this :) Do leave a comment it motivates me to write  more quickly, knowing someone out there is actually reading this. 
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Recap-

I make sure to not let my racing thoughts falter my smile as I walk on the stage. The priest starts speaking while I zone out to the memory of me playing blind-fold run-and-catch with my father in the garden, "always trust your gut" he reminded me. Right now my gut was asking, begging me to run away from the procession. I debate giving in just as the priest orders us to look at each other, hand in hand. I glance at him and turn, this debate needs to end right now.

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I take in a deep breath and look behind Charles, the stairs that lead to the forest stand there as if assuring me.

(I have no idea how this works, but for now please pretend this is the official way a catholic wedding proceeds)
"Alia Greneth, do you take Charles Francis as your husband and be with him through thick and thin?"

Without risking a glance to any of the guests that await my reply, I grab as much as I can of my poofy dress and make a run for the forest. I feel my flat shoes fly out from under my feet as I step on the stoned stairs. I don't dare look behind me to see if someone's following me as I beg my legs to not give up until a few more miles. I relax a little when I start seeing trees crowd the path and risk a pause to look behind me. When I don't see anyone, I start walking again, still keeping my pace and feeling the cold moist mud of the forest ground me, reflecting back on my actions wasn't probably the best thing to do but when have I ever done that. I try to remind myself in the healthiest way that what's done is done and I can't change that now, so might as well enjoy this peaceful moment till it lasts. As if on cue, the universe decides to mock me. I jump a little when I feel someone tapping my shoulder, but then again if someone did want to hurt me why would they tap my shoulder. I breathe a sigh of relief when I find my best friend Jack standing there.

Jack and I share a long friendship, his father holds a major position in court and is close friends with mine. We used to run away from the fields together, he was there for me from as far as I can remember, through thick and thin.

I hug him as tightly as I can before he bombards me with his questions, as if to tell him I am not fine and that I just need one of his bear hugs. He lifts from the ground and envelops me into his chest before keeping me down,

"Are you okay? What was that? Why did you run away?"
"One, I just ran away from the wedding that was supposed to solve not only mine but all of this kingdom's problems, do you think I am okay? Two, i have no idea what that was I just had to get away, you know how much I hate both the idea of getting married to someone I barely know and the person I was getting married to"

This was something only a few people knew, me and Charles... well go a long way back. A few months ago when I noticed my father getting too stressed about "nothing", I did my own research. Only to find out our kingdom was in too much debt while our dear kingdom was nearing a famine. That's when I first met up with Charles, he was a complete gentleman in the beginning and I thought, perfect I can marry him, form an alliance with his nation and take away my father's worries. That is until I actually pitched the idea, indirectly of course to my father. A few months later I found myself in Charles' chambers unusually late at night. We were... experimenting and it's not like I lost my virginity to him, I'd done that before so it wasn't that bad. After then, I told Meredith and Jack about everything only to find out the reputation Charles has with women. I dismissed it as gossip until one night when he said he was too busy with his "kingdom's affairs" I went to surprise him only to stop in front of his door as I heard moans coming from inside.
As I thought about every impulsive decision (really all of them), I found reality knocking on my door with an ax ready to cut my head off, I realized how dumb and careless I'd been. I felt panic take over my mind in a few seconds.

"Oh my god, what the hell was I thinking. Shit. I messed up everything. Literally everything. I was trying to take away worries from my father and not give him more. Oh my god. Jack, why did you not stop me? Shit i messed up real bad. Stupid brain. I really hate my brain and guts and legs, no actually my entire self right now. I am now successfully the reason not only Charles but his father and his entire kingdom hates me. Why did i have to be such a fuck up." I pause in my track as I feel two arms warmly surround me, I submit to them, trying to calm down.

"Hey it's okay, we will figure something out, love. Just breathe for now" I take in a deep breath and try my best to not cry. This was no time for that, I need to get out of the mess I have woven around myself. I hear footsteps and I feel my heart beat out of my chest, maybe it does because the next thing I know Jack is stroking my hair and swaying us a little before saying.

"It's only Meredith, love, relax"

I hear Meredith cough and I move a little out of Jack's arms,
"Come here you idiot" I called to her.

She comes in as we all have a group hug and I feel more grateful for my two best friends than I ever have. We move out after a while and look at each other.
"So what's the plan?" Meredith asks.

"Well" Jack continues "Alia can no way go back now, so here's what I think" he turns towards me "you miss need to find some other king to marry" and then I think back to what father said.
"Actually," I think out loud "I have a better plan" I smirk.

"What?" they both question, the shock written quite clearly on their face.

"You can't possibly do that" Jack says, his eyebrows scrunched in worry and confusion.

"No, she can. Just because she's female you think she can't do it?" Meredith defends.

"Of course she can, that's not what I meant"
"Oh but that's what you said" Mer replies playfully.

I zone myself out of their banter as I ponder on how my life is about to change drastically.
"Okay well" I interrupt "you guys need to go and inform everyone you didn't find me, then just report back to me what's happening, I will return when Charles and his family have gone"

"But where will you stay?"
"I will figure something out guys, don't worry about me. I am a princess after all"
I push them, only Mer to be honest because Jack doesn't move an inch, given the time he spends working out I don't even know why I tried. He looks in my eyes, "there is no way I am leaving you here all alone, you're coming with me Alia"
"I can't Jack, they'll be looking for me, god knows what King Henry would do, I did walk out on his son's marriage after all"
He sighs, and starts walking away until he turns again. Me and Mer groan.

"What now?" I ask, a little annoyed.

"You will stay with my brother in his barn"

"No, I won't"

"Yes you will, just remember I can quite easily pick you up over my shoulders and take you there so no point arguing" he replies, a sly smirk plastered on his face.
"Ugh fine, no wait. How will you even take me there without anyone finding out?"
"Oh don't you worry about that darling, I know a way, I always do"

He changes his course of path, now dragging me with him. We go through a blanket of tall grasses and trees until I see it, the back of Jack's barn, well his brother's really.

He goes ahead and signals me to wait, I throw a befuddled look towards Mer only to find the same expression towards me.
"All clear" he says, as me and Mer nod understandingly, he went to check if someone was out there. I could be really dumb sometimes.

I find my jaw literally drop as we walk in the barn. 

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