Dreamie, You've Got a Big Storm Coming

Chapter 1: The Actress Starring in Your Bad Dreams

[2050 words]

Author's note: Hello, I decided to join the non-binary Dream Team bandwagon! Before the story begins, I would like to add a disclaimer that I am non-binary myself (I use they/xe/she/he pronouns), so the descriptions of gender dysphoria/euphoria in this story reflect my own experiences. This story is purely fictional and for fun. :)

***

Quite prematurely, Dream believed his gender identity had solidified. Once he decided to use he/him and they/them pronouns, he expected to feel comfortable from then on. However, this did not happen.

Late in the evening, Dream submerged themself in a monumental cleaning task. Files cluttered their computer, creating a disorganized mess of icons on their desktop. Fortunately sorting files into new folders became much less boring with the addition of music.

As a certified Swiftie, Dream played the entire "Lover" album by Taylor Swift through his headphones. Completing each song allowed him to keep track of time, for listening to the album from beginning-to-end required about one hour.

Lounging in his swiveling office chair, Dream rested both heels upon his office-bedroom's carpeted floor as bright light from the computer's monitor soaked his front.

Taylor Swift's song "The Man" played. Dream did not anticipate this would be the song whose notes would soak through the filters they unwittingly wore in their ears. Nodding along with the song's fast beat, they hummed notes to themself. Internally they sang lyrics about how success became more difficult to obtain when one was not a man. With a small smile, they considered that the song - perhaps unintentionally - left room for non-binary listeners like them to agree.

Despite Dream's affinity for they/them pronouns, the public assumed he was a man. No one beyond the Internet had ever explicitly asked Dream himself what he was. Sure, Dream was male, but did his short hair, broad shoulders, and mountainous height really make him a man? What would he consider himself?

Closing the desktop files they sorted through, Dream drifted to the YouTube tab on which they played the Taylor Swift album. Pausing the song, they hauled themself to sit upright in their office chair. All thoughts of cleaning the hard drive exited their mind; completing the task could wait until another day.

Dream never anticipated that his admiration for Taylor Swift's music would lead to a shift in his gender identity, but now he could not stop thinking about being a man... or not being a man at all.

Questions swirled within Dream's head, producing a cacophony of unnerving thoughts. Why did the question of gender confuse him so much? Why did he not like the answers he received from himself?

Determined to uncover an explanation, Dream opened the Internet's search engine and clicked on the search bar. He blinked, watching the cursor's patient flickering as it waited for his question.

First Dream's fingers hovered over the keyboard. Breaking the silence which soaked their office-bedroom, they typed, "what are my pronouns" then clicked Search.

Faintly Dream reminded themself that this was the wrong question to enter. Regarding gender identity, the Internet could only provide research data, guidance, and suggestions. The Internet could not provide solid instructions for gender identification or gender expression; Dream would have to figure those out on their own.

As expected, the first results from the search engine offered a variety of pronouns and explanations of their meanings. However, none of the results provided a concrete answer of what Dream was.

Frustrated, Dream closed the tab, then stared at the page which appeared in its place: the paused video for "The Man" by Taylor Swift. Staring at the cover of Taylor Swift's "Lover" album, Dream observed the popular singer's pastel-blue outfit and light makeup. Absently he looked down at his own clothing: a blue t-shirt and Oklahoma Sooners sweatpants. Neither outfit appeared absurdly masculine nor feminine.