Until when?

CHAPTER|ONE

I was woken up by my buzzing alarm, I jumped out of bed heading to the shower. I was really exhausted even after my sleep. I really can't call it 'sleep' because it was just a matter of putting my head on my uncomfortable pillow as thoughts rankled in my mind rent-free. I wore my faded uniform as I headed to the kitchen where I just grabbed a slice of bread. I kissed my mom goodbye. She is the only person in the world who understands me although I don't understand myself. Who am I? I always ask myself.

I answer to the name Trisha. Being raised by a single mom who struggled to provide for our basic needs. Despite her trying by all means to provide everything a child needs, there was one thing I needed the most she couldn't provide; a father. I yearned for father's love. Back when I was a little girl, my emotions would go taut like the strings of a guitar when I saw kids my age on their father's broad shoulders.

But when I heard the truth about my father after pestering my mom so many times my wishes faded. He was such a monster. Or maybe he still is?

He abandoned my mother the day I was born. My mother refused to tell me the reason behind it. She always avoided the question. I hated my father even more because my mother would cry all night holding his photograph. As the sun rose, I prepared to go to hell on earth others called 'school'. My first class for the day was Mathematics. I hated this subject, in fact I hated everything about my life. I just wasn't good at anything. Upon being rejected by society because of being albino and having freckles I still sucked at everything. I feel futile.

"Mavis, hand out the Math test sheets," the teacher's hoarse voice requested. "No,never mind. I'll do it myself,"

"Trisha!" I quavered due to the vehemence in his voice.

A lot of thoughts engulfed me. "Yes s-" I stammered. "Shut up! I have been calling you for three times now. When you come to school, your mind and soul must be in class not dreaming of some silly boy," everyone giggled though I didn't find anything funny.

"Nowadays men want educated and independent women," he continued. "And where do you think you'll get a proper gentleman with your poor grades? Huh? You are such a disgrace!"

His words echoed in my mind. Tears slowly trickled down my cheeks. I tried to realign my scrambled emotions.

"Oh, are you crying? Such a cry baby!" Mavis sarcastically said rolling her pretty big eyes.

Mavis was ravishingly beautiful. Mr Griffith threw my Math sheet in my face. "Okay class, I'll be back in five minutes. Maintain the silence," Mr Griffith advised as he left the classroom.

"You must work very hard, education is the key to success," my mother's words rang in my mind as I looked at my score. Such a disappointment. "What's your score?" Andreas whispered to Marco. "82, yours?" responded Michael. "We have the same score" Andrea smirked. They both bragged.

"What's your score, stickman?" Mavis shouted from the front seat. And yes, this was a way of embarrassing me as she always did.

"I bet it's a zero!" Emma giggled, making the whole class muffle laughter. Andrea forcefully grabbed my test sheet, making it tear into two pieces. "Ma'am got a twenty" the whole class bust into laughter.

"Why are you making noise?" Mr Griffith bellowed as he was greeted with a rapture of laughter.

"Mavis, give me the names of the noise makers! They are coming for detention after school"

Mavis handed him a piece of paper. "Trisha!" I shuddered due to the vehemence in his voice. "Other students around the school are having examinations, and here you are making noise like a third grader. Detention after school!" Mavis character did not suit her at all. No heart at all. I thought pretty girls were the nicest. Despite being so mean she was the class rap. Anyways I had to go for my next class; Chemistry. I vaguely remember what was said as I was physically in class but mentally I was in my own world as thoughts are me up. The break time bell rang. I grabbed my sunhat and headed to the lavatory. I decided to eat where there were less people. I ate under a shed due to the scathing sun. Just as I opened my lunch bag, I heard footsteps grow nearer and nearer. I raised my head only to meet eyes with Emma and Mavis. I knew the had come to put my peace of mind to halt.

"Eeeeewww, bread with butter?" Emma scorned. I mean, I was used to it. "Buy yourself a burger in the cafeteria?" she added faking concern.

"Oh Emma, Emma sweetheart, don't be silly dear,"Mavis rolled her eyes. "The whole world know she poor. Her parent cannot even buy her a new uniform," Mavis contemptuously said.

"Parents!" Emma chuckled.

"You think she has a dad?" Emma said in a mocking way. "I mean, no man would take care of her filthy, ugly looking mom," they giggled.

Raging with fury I bellowed, "Do not ever, ever, ever dare talk about my mom like that or else," I retorted. I kept on emphasizing the word- ever. "Or else what you skinny rat? What can you do about it? Huh?" Mavis galled as she grabbed my slices of bread and throwing them away. They walked away leaving me soaked in tears. I felt my anger flare.

When we knocked off school, I headed to Mr Griffith office for detention. I stayed there for the longest time ever. It felt like a millennium. There was howling wind. I shivered in fear as another flash of lightning streaked across the dark clouds, instantly followed by an enormous roar of thunder. A thunderstorm brew in a distance. Rain had already started showering when I felt a strong grip, a man covered in black reached my arm, my thin body. I pushed at him, helpless in his group. I fought but felt like I wasn't fighting.

"You think you can fight me love?" he whispered in my ear menacingly.

I was thrown down hard. His clawed hand held my arched back pressed down, my legs spread apart. I tried to scream but my tears chocked my shuddering voice..

"Just one scream and you'll kiss the world goodbye sweetheart," he said maybe ordering.

I thought of my mom, how could she possibly survive without her only bundle of joy, her only blessing that could place a smile on her face. I sobbed quietly as this man took my pride.bThe rapist went away displaying satisfaction. Reality struck, my virginity was gone.

Having being quivering for a long time, I saw a beam of light in the dark as the April wind hit my face violently. "Trisha, Trisha!"

I eventually recognised the voice. It was my mom's voice. "Mu---um" I stammered. I was in excruciating pain and it seems my voice had been blown away. The footsteps drew nearer heading to my direction. My mom looked at me for the first time and looked aside but when she looked at me for the second time,there was silence. Maybe she was trying to process what was in front of her. She continuously rubbed her eyes countless times, maybe thinking that she was hallucinating. She wasn't prepared for all this. When reality banged her hard in her face, tears trickled down her oval shaped face.

"What happened dear," said in a shaky voice while trembling. Worry and shock was all one could read on her face. She embraced me in her arms, I felt a little safe.

"Tell me, who did this-" She couldn't finish what she wanted to say as tears threatened her eyes despite wiping them before. She carried me home. I gritted my teeth due to the unbearable pain. I could not even see myself the way I used to. Blood sang from my thumbing heart, I smelled my own sweat. She helped me take a shower. I shook my head slowly I refusal when she offered me dinner.

"Dear, you have to eat a bit," my mom pleaded as she put a spoonful of rice in my mouth. I didn't feel like eating. I didn't feel like anything. That man had robbed my appetite and happiness and probably my sleep too. I ate a little just to please her. I laid my head on her laps. I could only show pain through tears which rolled non-stop. Less than two decades of my life and I was already feeling tired. Tired of living such a life in this cruel world. We are the world. We are the ones that make it a better place but how when this cruel place is full on people who are despicable and abhorrent.