Until when?

CHAPTER| TWO

I was burning inside. My heart was in pieces.

"It's going to be okay baby," my mother said. I knew she was holding back tears.
"But what did I do to deserve this? I was never happy and-" I paused and wiped my tears.

"will never be happy. I'm jinxed. Why can't I be happy like my peers. Life is not fair. Literally not fair!"

"Life is not fair? No one said it would be girlie. Moreover, wishing you were someone else is wasting the person you are. Everyone is fighting their own battles. People smile but you never know what's behind closed doors. You are worth it," she encouraged.

"No I'm not. I'm not worth it even a bit" I tutted.

"If I'm really special why did he do this to me? What did I do to really deserve such pain? Huh?" I was filled with anger,anguish and frustration as tears mingled with sweat on my pale face. I raised my head to face my mom. I could see tears brimming in her eyes.

"Now I want you to tell me the truth and only the truth," I looked straight into her eyes. Her eyes were promising. She nodded slowly. "Why did my so called father abandon us?" My voice was filled with vehemence and wrath. "Be-" she looked at me with teary eyes showing hesitation. "No its not the right time"

"Wow, so when is the right time. Tomorrow never comes. I just want to know." I strongly interjected.

"Okay," she sighed deeply "So the day you were born," she continued. " You father accused me of having a extramarital affair. Nobody from his family is albino so he started abusing me in every way possible, sexually, emotionally and physically. I told him several times that you're his daughter but it fell on deaf ears. One day he came home with a young woman, about ten years younger than him. That's when he threw me out of the house with the help of his sister," I searched for her hazel orbs, pain and honesty is all I could see. I was speechless at first.

But why me? Did I choose to be albino? " So if the people who have their blood running through my veins rejected me. What more society?" I fumed.

"Now go to bed. You have to rest" she kissed my forehead and I slowly walked to my room. Every time I closed my eyes, the incident remained imprinted on my mind like a current nightmare. I sobbed. Will I ever get over it? I thought momentarily of suicide but the thought vanished as soon as it came. I don't know how sleep eluded me but I woke up on the cold tiled floor. I was shivering. I rested my head on my chin.

"Trisha! Trishaaa!" my mom shouted from downstairs. Looking at the clock it was past six pm. I quickly rushed downstairs where she welcomed me with her smile revealing her dimples. She squeezed me in her arms. We prepared dinner over a light chat. The food was finger licking good. For a moment I forgot my worries as I devoured the mouth watering food. I did the dishes and went to sleep.

I had switched off the alarm for the third time when my mom shouted "You're gonna be late, hurry up!" I jumped out of bed and started preparing for school lackadaisically. I wasn't in the mood. I'm never in the mood anyways. When I met with the empty hallway, my heart seemed like it was going to explode out of my chest. I stood on my classroom door, I saw Mr Grey. Darn it. It was his lesson. He was very strict and I had made a blunder. I forgot to do the assignment she assigned us to do. I started drenching in sweat as I held the door handle in attempt to open it. I shook. Finally gathering up the courage, I flinged the door open. Everyone paused and glued their eyes on me. They stared grotesquely mixed with revulsion.

"You are late!" Mr Grey screeched. " It's not like I said I was early anyways," I murmured under my breath. "What did you say?" he interrogated. "Uhm. I said I'm so-"

"Go sit down" he interrupted. As I walked to an empty seat, Mavis put her leg in front of me. I fell to the ground, "Ouch," I scrunched. Mavis looked at Emma and they started laughing. " Is the floor okay?" Emma whispered sarcastically enough for Me Grey not to hear. "Get up," Mr Grey brought his hand forward for my support. Blood gushed out of my knee. "Go to the nurse.i I'm sorry,". I limped to the door. Such a bad day so early in the morning. The nurse gave me painkillers and ice as usual.

"What happened to your knee?" my mom worriedly asked as she noticed the bandage on my knee. "How did it happen? Who did th-" I looked at her with a face full of amusement. " Calm down. Which question should I answer first. I missed a step and tripped. I'm okay" I said in reticence. "Oh!" she uttered in relief. After dinner I took a shower for an hour as I vented out my frustration. I was in a fronzy of rage. I cried till I couldn't any more. My life was sad, full of pain and anguish. I just couldn't get over the fact that a stranger robbed my virginity. I was in a great wall of sorrow.

I woke up with an upset stomach. It wasn't a running stomach. I was feeling pain in my lower abdomen. I ignored it and took some painkillers. After the third period, I felt like I was bleeding. I had no idea what it was. "Ugh" a soft moan escaped my lips. "Is everything okay Miss Johnson?" the English teacher Mrs Benjamin asked with concern. Of cause I used my mother's surname. I hated it because I wish I had a father who would give me a surname, an identity. I hated being labelled as illegitimate. What they say is true. What can a person be without a man in their life? My mom and I were just discriminated. They called her all kinds of names. My mom always told me to create my own identity one day. But how? I just have to accept the fact that I am hapless.