I don't wanna be here (Remus Lupin teacher fanfic)

Chapter 2 Late night ich

Ava's Pov

I walk to my dorm after dinner though i didn't eat.

I flip down on my bed and lay there for a minute before I fall asleep.

~time skip~

It was 4 weeks in my 3rd year and I suddenly feel horrible

I'm in my bed asleep when then I wake up

I wake up to see it's still dark maybe about 2-3 am.

I look beside me to see a picture of my parents.

They were so happy...but that all had to be ruined because some greedy burglar wanted to kill them...in-front of me.

It all happened when I was 7 and now I live with my abusive grandma.

I feel my skin start to crawl and my "ich" started again.

I wanted to do it.

My body said no but my brain said yes.

I pulled up my sleeve to see white lines probably about 50 some old some newer on my arm.

Oh gosh...

I was a day clean...

I start to ich my skin then I look at my roommate sleeping across from me.

I couldn't do it here anywhere else but here.

I open my draw and grab my tiny blade out.

I tip toe from my dorm to the hallway and start to walk to the bathrooms in the dungeons since no one goes there.

I yawn as I walk in the cold bathrooms.

It was super cold.

Like do Slytherins just not turn on heat or something.

I walk in the cold bathrooms and look in the mirror deciding if I wanna do this again or not.

I put the blade to my wrist and push down. I leave it there for a second thinking if I should or not.

I see a drop of blood flow down my wrist into the sink.

I slide the blade across my wrist and blood starts to drip to the sink.

Dang did I have to do it so deep.

Then I move up a bit and do the same thing.

And again

And again

And again....

Until there are about 7 cuts on my arm. Each getting deeper.

I look at my blade and set it down one the counter.

The sink is red from all the blood.

I turn the sink on to drain all the blood and wash my scars off.

"Ow-" I say

It stings a lot.

I dab paper towels on it and hope for the blood to stop.

I throw the towel away.

I pick up the blade and make my ways out.

The hallway is dark and cold and I can't wash to go back to sleep.

When then I hear steps...footsteps.

Oh god what do I do-

"Ava?? What are you doing out here this late" I hear someone say.