The Christmas Conversation

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A L L  I

W A N T  F O R

C H R I S T M A S

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We were out of the cramped section of the electrical closet and now near the front. Adam had his face in the glass holder of sweets, munching away.

"Margery is going to slaughter you."

Adam shrugged and continued his feasting.

I slid myself on the counter, leaning back on the wall. "Adam, did you ever date anyone?"

He dropped his leftovers into the trash, wiping his hands. "Why do you ask?"

I took my bottom lip in between my teeth and fiddled with my fingers. "I was just wondering. You never dated in college and we live in a small area."

"No one ever interested me."

"No one?"

"The only person I ever wanted was you," Adam bluntly confessed. My face crept red and I turned away from embarrassment. Adam rarely spoke in college. He was nearly mute. But now he was pouring his heart out. The sudden switch made my thoughts fuzzy. "You could've moved on."

"I'm not like you. I don't just forget my feelings." He insulted casually.

My shoulders slumped as I slid off the counter. "Low-blow, Adam." I stomped off and out the door. The frigid air instantly hit me, already making my body shake. I treaded my way to the car, allowing for my toes to become frozen.

"Winter!" Adam called out. I ignored him and landed in front of the car tired, digging away at the snow. I clawed frantically at the snow built around the car. "Winter, what are you doing?" Dig. Dig. Dig. "We need to go back inside. Your feet are turning red."

I looked down at the red overtaking my toes. The snow had my red hair covered in white. My every breath was clear as day. "You're an asshole," I hissed out. "You make it seem like you care about me but you take cheap shots at me whenever you can." My arms were wrapped around me, both to warm myself up and to keep away from Adam.

"Let's talk about this inside."

"No."

His teeth chattered together. "I will give you three seconds before I carry you inside myself." Adam counted and when he hit three he took long strides and swept me up bridal style. I banged on his chest and wiggled but he had a bear hold on me.

"Let me down or I'll—"

"You'll what?" He growled. I pursed my lips before relaxing in his arms. When we entered inside, Adam curled me up in the green blanket, tugging me in between his lanky legs and cocooning me against his chest. "If you die from hypothermia, I'll resurrect you and kill you myself."

"Whatever," I bit out. Thirty minutes later, I was warmed up and felt the numbness of my toes dissipate. I wiggled them a few times to make sure I still had mobility. "I'm fine now." Adam didn't release me but his grasp around my waist tightened. His face landed in the crook of my neck.

"Do you want another truth?" He asked, his hot breath hitting the bareness of my neck.

"No." For my hearts sake, I didn't.

"How about a story?"

"Fine," I reluctantly agreed.

His grasp loosened and I stayed put. "Eight years ago I got partnered with an annoyingly optimistic red head," he started. It didn't take a genius to figure out Adam was retelling how we met. "She was way too peppy and everything I disliked."

"Adam," I snapped.

"But she was kind. She asked how my day was every day, she brought me my favorite snacks on our project meet ups, and she was by far the smartest person I'd ever met." A blush appeared on my cheeks and the tips of my ears. "And when our project ended she continued to check up on me, no matter how many times I pushed her away. She didn't know how much she meant to me, how much I cherished her."

"Please, stop," I croaked, feeling my lips quiver.

"I was set on wasting away. I had no dreams while she had many. I had no friends while she was surrounded by people that adored her. I was no good. But she made me feel worthy. My dream became her."

I tried to move but he tightened his arms again. He was set on finishing the story that was breaking me, making me regret all the decisions I made for the past four years.

"When she would smile, sing in the car, and dance, it made my heart race. When she would date other men, it would make my heart break. And when she would cry, my heart would shatter." There was a short-lived pause. "But when she became everything she wanted, my heart soared and died." A wetness braced the flesh on my neck and it wasn't from my own tears but his. "You are my lost dream and I'm so sorry I ever stopped chasing you." The last part came out in a husky whisper.

My breathing was shaky and in inconsistent increments. I wiped my nose and scooted out of his arms. I faced him and noticed the light imprint of tears on his face. Red twinged at his eyes. Never once had I seen Adam cry. It was now that I could grasp such an obvious concept: We were never indestructible.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his salty covered cheeks, ignoring my own. "You're my lost dream too."