Black and Yellow Together with Red (Goetzeus)

Chapter 1

Marco

'Why didn't he just tell me?' I didn't realise I was wrong until I layed in bed. I turned around so I was facing the wall. I felt bad for what I had said. But then again, he should have told me! I'm his best friend and I thought he was just a little bit pushy with some things. I didn't thought he actually liked me. We used to have film marathons at night while we were laying in bed. The idea he had probably watched me while I was sleeping was just too weird. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I had not seen it coming, maybe I should have.

'Maybe it's my fault?' I pressed my eyes closed until it hurted. I wished this had never happened. I wished we were just laying here, both of us laughing at funny pictures or ideas we had come up with.

I know it for sure. I should have seen this come.

As I recall from last week, we were in the dressing room and he was looking at me. I felt his eyes burn on my back, but he had such a sad face, I didn't ask him anything. Looking back now, I think he seemed sad because he knows I'm not gay.

Was it right to say the things I had said to him? Probably not. I saw he was in tears when he finally walked away. No, it was definitely not right. He didn't deserve it.

Back to the moment

"Marco?" A voice called me.

"Yes?"

"I'm going inside, how about you?" It was Mats.

"Yeah, I'm coming, too" I answered.

We walked over the field towards the building, picking up the water bottles we had layed down next to the goal.

"I think we're going to win this game tomorrow" Mats said.

"This week, we're doing pretty good" I assured him. "I hope so, we need the points."

Mats held the door open for me and asked:" where's Mario?"

"I don't know. He's not my other half or something like that. He's not stitched to me."

"Oh, I'm sorry Mister Crancy."

We both laughed as we got inside. I actually wondered where Mario was, too. He was always beside me. I looked around in the lobby but only Kagawa and Immobile were sitting on the couch. I shrugged. 'Oh well, he will show up later, I'm sure'.

I walked up the stairs 'I'm a footballer so I'm not going to take the elevator.' I thought to myself.

Just when I wanted to walk further through the hallway, I heard a familiar voice. I stopped and waited if I had heard it correctly. Yes, it came from Gündogan's room and the voice was from Mario. I was about to knock on the door when I heard my name. 'Were they gossiping?' I asked myself confused. 'This can be interesting'.

"You can't keep hiding it from him." Ilkay Gündogan was saying.

"I know. But I also know that if he finds out he will be either disgusted or mad at me." Mario said this in a low and soft voice.

"What do you want to do, then?" Ilkay said.

"I want to enjoy the moments I have with him." Mario answered and I started to get really curious by now.

"Why don't you tell him?"

"Why?" Mario started talking a little louder. "He wil be disgusted. I have seen him many time in his underwear and one time even without. You think he will say:"oh, that's fine. I don't care what you are." I can assure you he will not."

'Where was this going for god sake?' I thought to myself.

"Don't be ridiculous." Ilkay said.

"Ridiculous?" Mario sounded mad now. "You think if I walk up to him and say: "I love you Marco" he will..."

He didn't finish his sentence, all because I was so stupid to yell:"what?!"

The door swung open and a shocked Mario was standing in front of me. Behind him, I saw Ilkay with a frown sitting on a chair.

"You what?!" I yelled at him and ignored Ilkay.

"Marco I..." Mario started stuttering.

"You like me?" I held my hands on my head shocked myself as much as he was to see me. "I can't believe it."

"Marco please" Mario said. "Please calm down."

"How can I stay calm? I trusted you with everything!"

"I know and I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry? And that should be good enough for me?"

"Please." Mario was begging.

"You're a fucking faggot" I said with a dirty face.

"Marco" Mario said with a shaking voice.

"What, what do you want? Have you ever thought about me while you're sleeping?" I didn't know what to say.

"I... I don't... why are you saying this?" His voice broke.

I took a step back. "Because you lied to me!"

"Wow, guys!" Ilkay spoke up now. "Don't hurt each other." I had forgotten he was also in the room.

"What do you know about it?" I asked him angrily.

Mario was crying now "please Marco. Stop."

"To please you?" I asked. "Why should I?"

At this point Mario ran away, crying. And I felt like a bully.